when a heart breaks no it don't break even

[hannah4]

Greg was done pretending. The relationship he had with Abby wasn't a romantic one. At best, they were no more than friends, and he realized he'd been kidding himself with this whole relationship. He didn't regret making her agree to it, he just regretted he'd let it go on so long. He'd tried to make her realize that it was okay to open herself up to him, okay to love, but in the end, it was him who had the realization. This just wasn't working out, and he could tell every day that she wanted to break up with him, but didn't have the heart to do it. He'd decided that he'd do it for her. It was what she wanted, and even though he did have quite the crush on her, she wasn't really satisfied with their relationship and neither was he. He was in the business to find love, and there was no romantic love between Greg Peterson and Abby Clark. He'd texted her around five in the evening, asking her to meet him for coffee. He'd had a good time with her, and he didn't regret the time they spent together, but it was time for this. He got there first, making his way into the shop with his slight limp, where he ordered two coffees and found a table outside.

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tagged - abby/daynerz.

[abigail]

Abigail wanted to try romance, she wanted to discover that side of her. She watched people be happy in relationships all around her, but she could never stop thinking of her mom and dad. Her mother manipulated her father so much that he did not have a sense of who he was, and when he had realized he had lost himself, he decided on a divorce. Abby had a distorted view of romance. She was either afraid of ending up like her father or being her mother. She was a product of both of them and it was scary. When Greg had asked her to be his girlfriend, she felt like it was an opportunity to find that romantic part of her that she had never been in touch with her twenty-four years of life. It was not working, and even though it wasn't she stayed with him, hoping he could get it out of her. Although she wasn't happy, she still adored him as a friend. He wasn't a horrible boyfriend at all, there just wasn't any chemistry between them. She walked down the street, thinking that this was going to be a normal outing. Spotting Greg at a table outside she smiled and sat across from him. "Hey Greg." She grabbed the second cup of coffee off the table. "Thank you."

[hannah4]

Greg was beginning to wonder if he wasn't cut out for this. Or was it the fact that she'd seen him so crippled after the accident, she couldn't see him in a romantic way? Well, he guessed it didn't matter. He sighed a little, already feeling like shit about this whole thing, and he was the one breaking them up. When she arrived, he did his best at a bit of a smile, but it was a meager attempt. He looked down at the coffee he hadn't yet touched, then back up. "Hey," he responded, and nodded his appreciation when she thanked him. This was going to be hard. She was such a great girl.. he just wished there'd been something between him. "We.. need to talk. About us." He knew she'd either be worried or jumping for joy inside, and the worst part was, he almost didn't care which of them she felt.

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[abigail]

Her enthusiasm left her immediately. We need to talk. About us. That was never good. There were plenty of possibilities, he could ask her what her deal was and why she never acted much like a girlfriend, or he could be breaking up with her. In the time she had spent with Greg as a couple, she'd noticed that he really did like her. She just wished that she had felt the same way back. Before he could say anything else, she spoke. At first she had dough eyes, wondering what she should say and if it would be wrong or not. She relaxed her shoulders and went on. "I'm sorry. I'm not much of a girlfriend am I?" She let out a deep sigh. "I've never done this before…" She mumbled. She wasn't pleading him to stay with her, she was simply explaining herself. She didn't want him to think that she was a bad girlfriend because he was a bad boyfriend. That was never ever the case. He was great, too great, too great for her.

[hannah4]

Naturally he blamed himself for their failed relationship. He guessed he just wasn't good enough to spark her interest or make her even feel the slightest bit for him. He felt like he poured all he had into the relationship, but apparently that just wasn't enough. But he was being a man: he wasn't going to drag her along any farther. "No, it's not your fault.." he said, shaking his head. He felt like shit, and it was only getting worse. "I just.. I'm sorry for kidding myself as long as I did.. I should have seen it earlier that you weren't interested.. at all," he said, nodding. He pursed his lips, wishing for a moment that this wasn't going to be as hard for him as it was. "But uh, I think you'd be happier if we weren't... well, an us anymore." He was careful with how he worded it. He definitely wouldn't be happier, but he wasn't going to keep making her unhappy just because it was what he wanted. That was selfish and just plain wrong. He was working hard to control himself, and he was doing a pretty good job. Inside, he felt like he might be reduced to a puddle. But outside, he was holding up fantastically.

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[abigail]

She scrunched up her face, in total thinking mode. She could tell that he felt like everything was his fault. None of it was his fault and she realized that she probably wouldn't be able to convince him of that. She let out a sympathetic chuckle. "I was never unhappy." It was true, she never was. Even if she was, her unhappiness was not contributed to being a relationship with him. "I'm not going to lie, I never really felt anything between us. But you see, i've never felt anything for anybody." That opening up that he tried to get her to do the whole relationship, was ironically happening because they were breaking up. She it all while trying to keep herself together, usually when she thought about the fact that she'd never liked anybody before, it made her want to cry. Often times she felt like she was broken and couldn't be fixed. "i need to apologize…for leading you on." She looked down at her coffee cup briefly. "I can say that I don't believe in love as many times as I want, and it scares me because there's always the risk of ending up with a broken heart, but the truth is, if I found love, i'd be ecstatic." She looked over at him with a frown on her face. "I'm sorry…but this is all my fault."

[hannah4]

Greg just nodded as she confirmed what he knew all along. He'd tried to convince himself that she would just take a while to open up, but the truth was, she never would. Not to him, anyway. He wasn't the guy for her, and that's something he would have to be okay with. He used to think he could convince any girl to fall for him, but he was quickly learning that wasn't the case. At all. He'd done a lot of growing up since October, when the accident occurred, and this was concreting the process. "I'm just sorry I could do that for you, Abby.." he said, trying to make it seem like he wasn't as broken up inside as he felt. He listened to what she was saying, but inside he was kind of stuck on pity for himself as well as her. "You know as well as I do I'd never break your heart.. but I honestly hope that you find someone who you can love, and that will love you back. You deserve it," he nodded to affirm it. He couldn't do this anymore. He pursed his lips, attempting to continue holding himself together. He stood. "I'll uh.. talk to you later then," he said, and walked away from the table, hands in his pockets, warm coffee still sitting on the table.

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[abigail]

She sat there stunned as he got up from the table and just left. He really thought that everything was his fault even after her explanation. Did he enjoy putting misery upon himself? She was not going to chase after them though, she would just text him later or something. She just didn't understand why he thought that he was such a bad person for not being the person that could get her to love. It was going to be a difficult task, and it did not have to happen at twenty-four. He kind of left in a way that made her think that they would never speak to each other again. Which, if that's how this would end, would be bullshit on ten different levels. They just weren't compatible. That happened all the time, you have to date a person to know if you are meant to be with them. Abigail and Greg just weren't meant to be together. That's how the story of their relationship would end. There was no fighting, no infidelity and no lying. It wasn't a bad relationship, it just wasn't the right one. She got up from the table and left too. It would all work out for the best.