MALONE, ALISSA JANE

[xzandr]

alissa jane malone.

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/ i want to voice this out loud

full name. Alissa Jane Malone
stage name. Alissa Malone
nicknames. Liss, Lissa, Ali
age dob. twenty-six, born on april thirteenth, nineteen eighty-five
gender. female
sexual orientation. heterosexual
career. tv/film actress
hometown. Boston, MA.


/ it's therapeutic somehow

height. 5'3"
eyes. Blueish-grey
hair. Long and brown, naturally curly. She is not vain, but errs toward the obsessive when it comes to her hair. It's naturally curly, so she doesn't really need a curling iron, except for ultra-special occasions. She refuses to go anywhere near a straightener except for, again, special occasions. Dyeing it simply doesn't happen. If she needs a different hair color for a role, she will use a wig. It's long enough to reach midway down her back, and she doesn't plan on cutting it any time soon.
build. Slender. She has always been concerned with gaining too much weight, so she tries her best to eat right, and spends a lot of time at the gym.
distinguishing features. She has a piercing stare, and two tattoos, one going up each side. On her left side, it's the prayer from Boondock Saints in black ink. On her right side, "why so serious?" on bloody-looking red ink.
play-by. Olivia Wilde.


/ so i'm moving to new york

loves.
* coffee,
* tea,
* nintendo 64,
* acting,
* music,
* early-morning runs,
* being recognized while out and about,
* photography,
* Dance Dance Revolution,
* hearing praise for her work,
* chocolate,
* lizards,
* board games,
* writing,
* reading fanfiction with her TV/film characters involved,
* Kevin Bacon,
* everything Kevin Bacon has ever been in,
* Star Trek,
* Star Wars,
* scifi,
* snowboarding
hates.
* being turned down for a role,
* Julia Roberts,
* waiting for that big break,
* having to be so far from home for her career,
* needles,
* doctors' appointments,
* poker,
* pasta,
* wine,
* beer,
* pepsi,
* coke,
* drugs,
* skiing
quirks.
* speaks fluent Vulcan,
* cannot cook, and has a tendency to completely destroy kitchen appliances,
* cannot sleep unless every light in the room is off,
* actually researches for her roles,
* carries a print-out of Kevin Bacon's entire filmography everywhere she goes
aspirations.
* have a leading role in a film that gets considered 'classic',
* get a major award,
* be a well-known household name,
* be in a long-running TV series, right from the beginning
secrets.
* has a fraternal twin brother who died when they were 5,
* also had the same illness as her brother, and almost died from it herself
personality evaluated. Alissa hates a lot of random things with a burning passion for no good reason. She can't explain why, but certain things just piss her off beyond belief. There are certain words, usually linked to these things she hates that, if uttered, trigger Alissa to go off on a rather long rant. Alissa does not express herself well. She feels the need to act tough around people, like things don't affect her, and fill be strong for others when she should really let herself cry. But she won't. It's not because she particularly cares about others, she just has the need to seem tough. She often jumps to conclusions, and it's almost always the worst-case scenario. She knows too much about medicine, and watches too much tv, and reads too many books. Essentially, she's been cursed with knowledge. She assumes the worst thing has happened, or will happen, because she knows all the terrible things that can go wrong. She also has what can only be described as an unhealthy obsession with Kevin Bacon. Oh, and Steven Tyler too. At any given time, Alissa is pretty much guaranteed to have a print-out of Kevin Bacon's entire filmography. And as for Steven Tyler? She seriously believes he's her biological father, and refuses to admit that this is in any way illogical.

Alissa is very closed off, and doesn't like sharing much about herself. She's also very eccentric. Sometimes, the things Alissa does are considered pretty crazy. She has very little regard for her own safety. Her thought processes are so abstract that others have a difficult time following along. Sometimes, her solution to a problem is considered pretty crazy. Alissa sometimes just likes to string together as many big words as she can think of, and say something in a complicated manner, rather than simply saying it. Peoples' reactions amuse her. Plus, she often just feels like being an asshole. Alissa holds others to a high standard of intelligence, and when someone does something she considers stupid, all she can do is shake her head, sigh, and sometimes tell them what they did wrong. Or sometimes she laughs at them. She finds it easier to assume everyone around her is an idiot, though, so she's less surprised by stupidity than she is affirmed by it. Even when she's being cynical, it's often in a joking manner; for example, if she's not in the best of moods, as well as being a relentless bitch, she will joke about the things "wrong" with something, or point out some flaw in something that is meant to be unflawed. As much as she values logic, sometimes Alissa just has to let go and do something pointless. She doesn't do it all the time, but mostly when she's been working too much, or her personal life gets complicated; it's to relieve stress. Alissa is not the most honest person out there. She's not a pathological liar or anything, but there are plenty of instances in which she will withhold the truth to protect herself or someone else. She tends to hide things a lot. Everybody has flaws, shortcomings, things they aren't good at. Alissa is no different. She hates that she isn't good at everything, but knows she can't doing anything about it all the time. Despite being forced to study almost non-stop, even while sick, Alissa would still find time to sneak some gaming in, usually on her gameboy. Sometimes she played it when she should have been studying. She's very easily distracted, and often finds herself doing what she wants to do, rather than what she should do. Honestly, Alissa is still socially awkward. When she talks to people, she often makes off-the-wall jokes and references things others don't always know or catch. Finally, as if it wasn't already obvious, Alissa is stubborn and obsessive. She randomly fixates on things, and when that happens, it is virtually impossible to get her to think about something else.


/ i've got issues with my sleep

father. gregory malone , 61 , anatomy professor at Boston U.
mother. evelyn malone , 60 , nurse.
siblings. aries malone , would have been 26 , deceased at age 5.
pets. none.
other family. none.
history evaluated.

* April 13th, 1985; Alissa was born in a hospital in Boston, Massachusetts, along with her twin brother, Aries. Her parents- a nurse and an anatomy professor at Boston U- had been trying for years, and finally got a child. It was a normal birth, but a couple hours later, Evelyn started bleeding, and when all other things failed to get the bleeding under control, surgeons performed a radical hysterectomy to save her life. She survived, but would never be able to have another biological child.

* Alissa was a healthy child, at least at first, if a little on the small side. She was sent home from the hospital, ironically before her mother, a couple days after birth. It was up to her father, even after his wife came home, to take care of Alissa and Aries most of the time, due to her needing to heal.

* When Alissa was three, her mother finally decided it was time to go back to work, and because her father had to be at the university all day to teach, she was placed in a day care that specialized in getting children ready for school. Alissa was on the younger end of the age spectrum they would accept, but it's never too early to prepare, right? That's what her professor father thought. He'd been reading to her every night since she came home from the hospital, determined that she would do well in school when she finally got there.

* A couple months into the daycare program, one of the caretakers called Evelyn at work to tell her that Alissa was being rushed to the ER because she was having a really hard time breathing. Evelyn had noticed that, at home, Alissa was taking a while to catch her breath after doing something like, for example, going up the stairs, and had an appointment scheduled with the pediatrician for a couple days from then, but she never saw it get this bad. She was given a diagnosis of asthma, and started on medication for that, and seemed to improve, getting back to daycare after a couple days at home recovering from the attack.

* At four, she started Kindergarten, and it was clear that she was, at least academically, advanced. Socially, though, she was lacking, and after only a week of classes, she was suspended from school calling the teacher an idiot, and kicking her in the leg when she tried to take Alissa to the principal's office. After this incident, and to prevent a repeat, Evelyn decided to leave work again, at least until Alissa and Aries were out of school, to home-school them. This went a lot better than public school, for Alissa. She was still academically ahead of the game. But because she was always home, she was always under her parents' pressure to succeed. She had very little time to play just for the hell of it, and forget about watching TV or reading books that had no discernible academic value. Everything had to be academically relevant, and if it wasn't, she was stuck with re-reading textbooks or taking some random quiz her parents created to test her knowledge of the class materials.

* Shortly before their fifth birthday, Alissa and Aries started exhibiting strange symptoms. Both were getting frequent infections, nose bleeds, and had excessive bruising that seemed to crop up out of nowhere. They were taken to the doctor, and both were diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia and started on treatment immediately. After a couple months of treatment, Alissa was getting better. Aries wasn't, and he died just days after the twins turned five.

* Around the beginning of what would have been her freshman year of high school, Alissa managed to convince her parents to let her go back to public school. She was older, more grounded academically, and certainly could control the urge to call people idiots and kick them- right? She was enrolled, and started school the same day as everyone who had been in public school their entire lives. Her social skills weren't much better, but at least she wasn't getting calls home, detentions, or suspensions.

* It was in high school that she discovered theater. Her school was well-known for both academics and its theater. Alissa was forced to focus mainly on academics, and when she was home on the weekends and evenings after school, she was still pushed to study or do something academic all the time. Every year when the auditions for the school musical came along, she would stare at the sign-up sheet and be sad, but know she was not allowed to even bother trying out. But in her senior year, when her school was doing a production of Fiddler on the Roof, she signed up, and got the part of Czeitel.

* This was not, however, when Alissa really got into acting. She was primarily a logical person, and it had been drilled into her head since she was a baby that making it in showbiz was too hard, and the people who judged others that were trying to make it were too subjective. Academics, however, were more objective- not even the toughest professor could claim that an answer was wrong, if it was something as concrete as science. So when Alissa graduated from high school, she chose to go to UCLA instead of NYU, and was on the biology/pre-med track. She had several AP credits from high school, where she graduated at age 17; she also took summer classes at UCLA, and managed to graduate in only 3 years, at age 20. She applied and was accepted to John's Hopkins med school.

* And so she went there. In her second year, however, she was at the store, and saw a flier for auditions for a local production of RENT. She picked it up and tossed it in one of the plastic bags as she headed out the door, quickly forgetting about it. She didn't have time to unpack the groceries, because there was a big test the next morning, and she needed to study. But the next day, when she came home to her apartment, she started putting everything away. She was just about done when she found the flier again, and actually read it. Reading it made her remember how she'd felt when she was on stage for Fiddler on the Roof- it was exhilarating. She felt so alive, so strong when she was on stage, under the spotlight. So she called the number and scheduled an audition time. She got the part of Mimi.

* This, of course, was a huge production. It was a big deal, and it would require a lot of time and dedication- which simply wasn't possible, with med school on her plate. Logic would tell her to forget about the theater. But instead, Alissa decided to drop out of med school. Sure, she was up to par academically, but she didn't enjoy it, and it was important to her to enjoy what she was doing for once.

* RENT got rave reviews in the local newspaper, Alissa in particular being praised for her performance. So she pursued this. She needed a 'real' job, so she got a job at John's Hopkins Medical Center in the blood bank. But whenever a new local theater production came out, Alissa was there auditioning. One of her most notable roles was Mrs. Lovett in Sweeney Todd. After a couple years, though, this no longer gave Alissa the same satisfaction. She wanted wider recognition, to be in something that was known to and seen by more than just Baltimore residents.

* Alissa moved back to LA a couple months ago. She took about a week at first to just move in and get acquainted to the area before she started trying to get involved with the more big-time acting. She will do whatever comes her way that's even marginally interesting, both tv and movies, because she wants to increase the number of opportunities available to her.


/ christmas came early for me

alias. Clu (used to go by Billymays)
years of rp experience. 9+
other characters. None yet
how did you find us. I used to be a member (character's name was Xzandr Malone), then some crap happened, and I was gone for too long and got deleted for inactivity, but now I'm back. (=
roleplay sample.

Ozzy’s fears were not entirely unfounded. Xzandr did have a tendency to deal poorly with situations that caused her great emotional pain- considering that the last occasion that happened, she nearly died of a Vicodin overdose. In a way, this was even worse. Sure, nobody had died- God knows that if Ozzy somehow, God forbid, died, Xzandr would probably have died soon thereafter- and they were still technically together, but that didn’t mean this hurt her any less. If it went on much longer… well, Xzandr couldn’t guarantee her own mental health. One would think that, after two weeks, the pain would be starting to dwindle down a bit, but it wasn’t. Every day that she didn’t get to talk to Ozzy just made her feel progressively worse, and there was only a very finite amount of times she could tell herself not to react too harshly for the baby’s sake. That was, perhaps, the only reason she wasn’t constantly drunk the last couple weeks, or strung out on cocaine, or relapsed on Vicodin again. So far, she was unable to bear the thought of doing anything harmful to the child. But she didn’t know how to deal with pain without alcohol or Vicodin. She just never had the tools to do it- every time something bothered her, she would pop pills or down a few drinks, and the absence of these things just compounded- or so she thought- her problems. Maybe it was time to learn the mental devices to deal with her problems? She simply wasn’t up to it. Not yet. It had taken until a couple days after Felix actually died for Xzandr’s spirit to be broken down enough for her to attempt to overdose. At two weeks since Ozzy walked away, it was a wonder she was still breathing. Part of her wanted to say “fuck it” and start knocking back tequila shots or popping Vicodin. But she couldn’t. Even Vicodin reminded her of Ozzy. He’d worked so hard to help her kick the habit, and was so understanding when she relapsed. It reminded her so much of him that it was no longer even a viable option for helping her get over him. But to overdose on it, and succeed, to get over Ozzy forever, would be analogous to an even more macabre Romeo and Juliet, some sort of poetic justice. Fun fact: Xzandr hated Shakespeare, and poetry, in every way, shape and form. But that was irrelevant right now.

In a way, this pain was even worse than when Felix died. At least that, Xzandr had finally come to realize after months of intensely thinking about it, she had no control over. The only thing in that entire situation that she’d had control over was her proximity to the door, and even that wasn’t an intentional action. She was simply trying to watch Ozzy walk down the hall, and happened to turn around at just the right time. Maybe if Ozzy had taken just a second or two more to turn the corner, she wouldn’t have been facing the door when it swung open too quickly. But she didn’t have any control over Ozzy’s pace. And she had no control over the speed at which the door opened, or the fact that the guy opening it was apparently incapable of opening a door normally. She had no control over Felix’s ability to fight off the random infection that killed him, or the fact that they weren’t able to detect it until it was too late. But now, she knew she’d had control over much more in this situation. She could have said something to the guard, like “hey, I’m in here, you can’t throw a dude in the same cell as a chick”, or, hell, assuming that didn’t work, she could have attacked Koen and then they would have definitely been put in different cells. She could have stayed on the bench, arms crossed, and bitched at Koen, or even completely ignored him. No matter what she did, it would have been a better alternative, because to fuck him was completely voluntary. And that was what hurt the most. Just knowing that she had intentionally done such a thing completely cracked Xzandr’s heart in half. Ozzy had never been anything but perfect with Xzandr. He wasn’t the most affectionate man out there, but that was fine for Xzandr, who wasn’t real big in that department either. But he cared about her, that much she knew, even if they weren’t constantly saying “I love you”. They didn’t need to. He had done so much for her. Who else would tolerate Xzandr’s constant bitchiness, foul mouth, and generally not caring attitude? Come on, Xzandr was a horrible person- she was so full of herself it wasn’t even funny, and she didn’t care if the things she said offended people or hurt their feelings. It took a special kind of person to tolerate that, didn’t it? Ozzy had seen her feeling her worst, like when she was detoxing and nothing was staying down. He’d forced her to stay hydrated, despite protests from Xzandr. Who else would ever care enough to do that for her? Xzandr had cheated on guys before. In fact, she’d never been entirely faithful to anyone, ever. As soon as she felt like she was getting close to someone, she’d go and fuck someone else, usually someone close, just to eliminate the possibility that they would forgive her. So Xzandr had a long history of infidelity and sabotaging relationships. It was how she kept herself from getting hurt. But the difference between now and all those times- besides the fact that Ozzy didn’t even know Koen, and Xzandr hadn’t fucked someone Ozzy cared about- was that before, there was never any remorse. She always told herself it had to be done, because they would eventually do the same thing to her. Before, she was never interested in talking things out and making them better. But now, it was all she wanted to do. She felt so incredibly guilty that she actually told Ozzy what she’d done, as opposed to letting him find out from someone else, or fucking Koen repeatedly and not even trying to cover it up- like she was apt to do before. Besides… what they had, they couldn’t just throw it away because of one mistake, could they? They were, in a few months’ time, going to have a child together. Hell, they already did- but as much as Xzandr hated to say it, Felix didn’t count, because the only people who had ever had to “take care of” him was the NICU staff. As much as Xzandr didn’t want to stay together just for the kid- which she would say was asinine, for a whole slew of reasons- she knew that she couldn’t work with him to take care of it, without actually being with him for the same reason, while they were fuck buddies, she suddenly stopped fucking him- it was too painful to be around him without being “together”. If they couldn’t work things out, Xzandr didn’t even know what to do.

The initial knocking woke Xzandr up. She just didn’t bother getting up. For one, she thought she already knew who it was- the guy who lived a couple doors down, who for some reason was convinced that Xzandr’s medical degree qualified her to work on his cat. He’d been knocking on her door for the last couple days, all around this time, asking if she would help his cat, and prescribe the necessary medications. ”I told you!” she’d told him every time, ”I’m a PEOPLE doctor, not an animal one!” Yesterday, she’d finally had enough of the man’s nonsense- most people would have been understanding, considering he was on the upper end of the age spectrum, and probably a taco short of a combo plate, mentally, but Xzandr was only annoyed by his inability to wrap his mind around the fact that human and cat medicine were drastically different, and even if Xzandr wanted to, she couldn’t really help him out as far as getting a prescription, since she didn’t even know a veterinarian- and told him that if he came asking for her help on his cat again, she would shave the stupid cat. She’d have thought that would get him to go away, and was partially tempted to get up and repeat her threat, but she was far too tired for that. Sighing, Xzandr decided to grant the man’s cat a stay of shaving, and the man himself a stay of execution, and closed her eyes, starting to drift off again. Then she heard her ringtone going off, and her eyes snapped open. Did the world hate her or something? It was hard to wrap her mind around the concept that the world didn’t stop simply because Xzandr didn’t have the mental willingness to deal with it. She chose to ignore the phone, even though it was on the bedside table right next to her glasses. She still wasn’t up to a telephone conversation, figuring it had to be either Rico or Rose, and they would try to feed her some bullshit about how it would be okay. It wasn’t going to be okay- not as long as she and Ozzy were in this “where do we go from here?” limbo. Some people, when they were depressed like this, might want to be around friend who would try to comfort them. Xzandr just wanted to be alone. She didn’t want to bring them down too. She breathed a sigh of relief when the phone stopped ringing, and closed her eyes again, drifting off. She was asleep by the time Ozzy obtained the hidden key- which she’d told him about, just in case she was ever not home, or he needed in there for whatever reason, or in case she lost her own set of keys (usually to being taken by a bartender) and was too smashed/otherwise impaired to pick the lock- and didn’t hear the door being unlocked or opened and then shut, and definitely didn’t hear Ozzy approaching or watching her sleep.

While still asleep, Xzandr reached out with one arm, toward where Ozzy would usually be laying- assuming she hadn’t already been cuddling up against him when he was there. Most of the time she’d fall asleep cuddled up against Ozzy, and stay like that all night. But sometimes she’d roll away in the middle of the night, and when she inevitably woke up at random because of the absence of his body heat, she would reach out, wrap both of her arms around one of his and fall asleep with her head on his bicep. For the first week or so of Ozzy’s absence, she still slept right in the middle, where she would have usually been sleeping in Ozzy’s presence, but lately, she’d finally re-learned how to sleep on one side, next to the night stand. But the reflex to grab his arm had yet to leave. When she didn’t encounter any flesh, she opened her eyes a little, staring at the empty space once again. She kept forgetting that he wasn’t there, and every time she remembered, it hurt a little more. She retracted her hand, using it to cover her mouth as she struggled against tears. She may never get used to this. It was weird. Before Ozzy, the only time she ever spent the night with the same person repeatedly and on a regular basis was the roommate sophomore year, when Xzandr spent more time in the same bed with her than in separate ones. Otherwise, she’d been more than okay with being alone in bed. But since she started regularly spending the night with Ozzy, or he with her, she hated sleeping alone, and in fact it was very difficult for her. After taking a deep, shaky breath, she managed to calm herself down, and let her hand fall. This was already hard, and was just going to get harder heh heh heh. With a light sigh, Xzandr turned over, finally spotting Ozzy. She just kind of stared at him at first, seriously wondering if she was having some sort of visual hallucination. God, this whole thing had her so messed up Xzandr was questioning her own mental health! She sat up- which was a little difficult for her, since her right side was still tender from surgery even after almost two months, and because bending was starting to get difficult, since the baby was growing and taking up more room. But she did end up sitting up, and swung her legs over the side of the bed so they were dangling, so she could face Ozzy, even though that hurt almost as much as him not being there at all. In the absence of the blanket covering her up, it was easy to see that, since her tank top was form-fitting, she did have a slight bump in the middle there. It was just slight, but definitely there. ”Oz,” she said, voice cracking. Usually, she would have made some snarky remark about how he was a total creeper for randomly showing up in the middle of the night, but now was not the time for that. See? Xzandr did have some concept of when was a bad time for a joke. She just chose to ignore it most of the time. ”W-what…” She couldn’t even finished the question. Her voice kept cracking, and she knew if she opened her mouth again she would just burst into tears.

[itsdayna]

she's cute!