YOUNG, tobin alexander

[squeegee]

tobin alexander young.

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/ i want to voice this out loud

full name. tobin alexander young.
stage name. toby young.
nicknames. toby, ladyboy…
age dob. twenty-six ;; july second.
gender. masculine.
sexual orientation. demi/pansexual [read as: mostly undecided].
career. tv/film actor.
hometown. roach, nevada.


/ it's therapeutic somehow

height. 5’8”
eyes. hazel.
hair. dark brown.
build.very slim.
distinguishing features. his frail build is a distinguishing feature in itself, but in addition to that toby also has a tattoo behind his left ear: the word ‘hope’ in russian.
play-by. johnny weir.


/ so i'm moving to new york

loves. cleanliness, horses, acting, civil/’nice’ people, rain, storms, snow, cold weather, living, plush toys, music, watching figure skating, animals in general, eating lobster.
hates. most foods, getting pushed around, being pressured into doing something, being pressured into a relationship, doing nothing, being unorganized, mess.
quirks.

• Toby refuses to take a car or public transportation anywhere unless he absolutely has to. He prefers to walk, run/jog, or ride his bike.
  
• When he’s anxious, nervous, stressed, or otherwise unsure of himself, Toby will touch the tattoo behind his ear. It calms him down better than almost anything else ever could.
  
• When he gets angry enough to actually yell (which honestly isn’t that often), he tends to shout in Russian in the hopes that the person he is angry with won’t understand what he’s saying. Toby hates upsetting other people, and usually regrets anything he screams in an argument right after he says it. Yelling in a foreign language allows him to get his feelings out without losing an acquaintance, friend, boss, or coworker in the process.
  
• In his apartment, everything has to be clean and everything has to be in its rightful place. If you don’t follow these rules, he won’t blame you, but if you don’t let him fix it there will be consequences.
  
• Love at first sight doesn’t exist for Toby. Lust over someone rarely exists. He has never jumped straight into a relationship because he liked the way a person looked or because someone mad a good first impression. Only after he’s good friends with someone does the option of dating even come to mind. It takes time. Be patient. If he likes you enough, he’ll eventually come around.
  
• He sleeps with a teddy bear. He is also not afraid to admit it.

aspirations.

• To be the very best like no one ever was.
  
• To be successful in his acting, and to prove himself to his father.
  
• To be happy, whether it be with himself or with a partner.
  
• To be healthy and fair to himself.

secrets.

• Toby acts like he has a thick skin, and for the most part he does. There are a few things, however, that really gets to him. If he feels like he’s failed at his job (either waiting or acting), he’ll take it hard. He will get depressed. And if anyone manages to notice, he will insist that he has no idea what that anyone is talking about. If he feels like he’s failed a person that he cares about, he easily feels twice as bad.
  
• He’s afraid of getting hurt. While Toby’s not afraid to get into a relationship, he’s absolutely terrified of it ending. He doesn’t like losing people, and he’s incredibly afraid to get emotionally invested in someone if he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. For that reason, he’s very open with his life, and he rarely keeps secrets. If someone wants to be his partner, that’s amazing, but he needs to make sure the other person knows just what they’re getting into.

personality evaluated.
Toby’s a very driven (and competitive) person. If there’s something he wants, he will get it. If someone says he can’t do something, he’ll do it just to prove them wrong. Very rarely does he ever ‘give up’ on something, and never does he says no. Because he is driven to succeed, Toby is also very stubborn. If you say he can’t do something, he will do it, but only on his own terms. Though he conformed to his parent’s, school’s, and friend’s wishes when he was younger, he’s left that stage of his life far behind. He will do what he wants because he wants to, and he will always stay true to himself. Doing anything else would be lying, not only to himself, but to everyone else; it would be disrespectful. Whether it be through hard work or luck, Toby is convinced he will succeed in whatever he tries; he is also convinced that he will do it on his own terms.

Whether it be because of his stubbornness or something else entirely, Toby is also very obsessive in his habits. He always has to be doing something, whether it be working, cleaning, or exercising, and very rarely does he sit down to take anything anyone would consider a ‘break.’ His apartment is spotless from floor to ceiling, and everything down to the remote control for his television has a rightful place. His refrigerator is organized. So are his clothes. And he doesn’t stop with organization.
On any given day (at work or not), Toby exercises at least two hours a day. He runs. He bikes. He swims. Anything to keep his body ‘in shape,’ he relishes. When he has to go somewhere, he refuses to take public transportation unless it’s absolutely necessary. He prefers to walk, bike, or (if he doesn’t have to look his best) run.
Though it seems like crazy behavior to anyone else, it’s normal to him. He loves it. And he refuses to change it for anyone.

When something happens (or someone does something) to upset anything mentioned above, Toby gets upset. Usually, it’s not a big deal. He will pick himself up, dust himself off, and move on. And it is certainly not the end of the world if someone puts the tv remote back in the wrong spot or tracks dirt into his home. If someone he doesn’t know calls him a faggot, he could not care less. However, if Toby feels like he has failed at anything, he will get upset, and it will be noticeable. The actions that follow any of his failures are usually a mixture of anger (he likes to hit things as long as they don’t break) and sadness, and the two of them together usually result in him crying (or at least wanting to).
Though it’s a known fact to his friends and family that he gets like this and has these ‘episodes,’ he will refuse to admit it. If he can avoid crying or showing rage in front of anyone, he will. It’s only when he’s alone that he feels he can express any negative emotion.

There is, however, an exception to his rule. If you yourself have wronged Toby, he is the king of passive-aggressiveness. Though he won’t say anything to your face (unless you confront him about it), he will make sure you know that he’s angry at you, one way or another. The good news to this, however, is that (for the most part) he tires of grudges very quickly. In a few days, he’ll act like nothing has happened.

Last in the category of negative emotions is the fact that Toby is scared. Though he puts himself out there 100% in everything he does, Toby is deathly afraid of getting hurt. He’s afraid of failing the people that he loves. He’s afraid of failing himself. He’s afraid of the people he loves rejecting him. Though he’s prepared to fall and knows he’ll have to pick himself up more than a few times, he can’t stand the thought of someone close to him leaving him. The idea terrifies him. And if it happens, he is absolutely devastated.

But behind all of these negative emotions and negative actions is a very positive person. Despite his seemingly high-maintenance life, it doesn’t take much to get him to smile. Toby gets excited by things like snow. It makes his day when he figures out how to climb a certain tree. As long as he’s not the one trying to entertain himself, Toby is very easy to please.

At heart, Toby is also a romantic. Though he knows it’s unlikely, he longs for that one person to spend the rest of his life with. Like any female, he dreams of his perfect wedding. If he can’t sleep, he’ll stay up plotting the perfect first date or the best way to propose. If he lets his mind wander enough, he’ll start thinking of Christmas gifts or anniversary gifts.

All in all, Toby is a very gentle person. He’s very kind, and it shows in almost everything he does. Though he’s competitive, that won’t stop him from helping out someone else that’s gunning for the same job or auditioning for the same role. Though he himself doesn’t believe in eating junk food, that does not stop him from giving a stranger five dollars to go to McDonald’s. Though he tries to place his priorities over those of other people, Toby will still do everything in his power to try and make someone’s day at least a little more bearable. And if you are his friend, he will stand by you until the very end. Toby is loyal to a fault.

/ i've got issues with my sleep

father. richard alan young , fifty , construction worker.
mother. rita amelia sinclair , (would be) fourty-six , deceased.
siblings. none.
pets. none, though he’s been talking about getting a dog for some time.
other family. none important.
history evaluated.

childhood.

• 0 - 7 ;; Toby was born and raised, and to be honest, his early childhood was quite happy. Though his dad wished he would have participated in more masculine activities (namely sports), his mother was always supportive of him. In the early years, young Tobin spent the majority of his time playing dress-up and attempting to help his mom in the kitchen.
  His mother, whose parents had immigrated from Russia, used this time spent with her son to try and teach him a second language. By the time he was seven, Toby was fluent (as fluent as a seven-year-old could be) in both English and Russian.
  
• 8 ;; Toby. Discovered. Horses. And he loved them. They were beautiful; they were majestic; they were every word in every language that described something captivating and wonderful. Upon learning of Tobin’s newfound interest in equestrians, his mom almost immediately signed him up for horseback riding lessons. Once again, his father was not pleased, but Toby didn’t care. He was going to be a world-famous horseback rider (however one became a world famous horseback rider). He was sure of it.
  
• 9 - 11 ;; Toby continued his eccentric style of dress. He continued trying to help his mom cook. But more importantly, he continued with his horseback riding lessons. At age nine he learned how to jump horses, and by ten he had entered his first competition with his instructor’s horse, Blitz. In his competitive run, Toby took home a plethora of fourth, third, and occasionally second place victories, but his first ‘gold trophy’ didn’t happen until a few weeks before his twelfth birthday.
  
• 12 ;; Having a parent die is an overdramatic, and most of the time unnecessary, plot device used in at least eighty percent of today’s movies, books, plays, and television shows. Unfortunately for Toby, God didn’t seem to care. In Toby’s twelfth year, his mother became ill (‘some kind of flu,’ his dad said). Soon after, she died, and Toby was left in the care of his father.

adolescence.

• 13 - 14 ;; After Toby’s mother died, everything changed. Because it was too expensive (and because his father said he would kill himself if he raised his child as a gay), Toby stopped attending horseback riding lessons. Because there was no one to cook with, he stopped helping in the kitchen. And because his father simply refused to buy him clothes that weren’t ‘gender appropriate,’ Toby stopped dressing up. In the two years following his seventh grade year, Toby became more withdrawn and more cooperative. He became less outspoken. He became less of himself and more who his dad wanted him to be. He was miserable.
  His freshman year of high school, Toby tried out for the football team to try and appease his dad. He failed, and because of his small size and higher-than-average voice he got ridiculed by the team for even trying in the first place.
  
• 15 ;;Sophomore year, Toby tried out for the football team again, and again he didn’t make the cut, and again he got ridiculed. Later that month, he and his father got into one of their many arguments. This one ended with Richard telling his son that he was too small to play on a sports team and too big to go back to riding horses. To try and prove his father wrong (and also to prove that he could do something right), Toby started exercising more and eating healthier to try and gain muscle and altogether better himself.
  In the spring of his sophomore year, he tried out for the spring play at his school and got a minor role. Toby was thrilled, and though he had a very minimal amount of work to do, the play was his life for as long as it was going on.
  
• 16 ;; As summer turned into the fall of his junior year, Toby exercised more and more, and he ate less and less. Rather than gain muscle, he started to lose the majority of his weigh, and though his father seemed to not notice or care, the friends Toby had made in drama started to get concerned. He told them that it was nothing to worry about, and that he was just going through some stress. He was fine, really.
  Junior year, Toby landed roles in both the fall and spring plays at his school. Though the fall role was minor, Toby managed a lead role in the spring. Once again, he was thrilled, and once again, his father didn’t approve.
  
• 17 ;; The majority of the summer before Toby’s senior year was spent in the hospital. The anorexic spiral that had started nearly two years ago had finally hit a peak, and from June 30 to July 21 he spent every waking moment of his bed-ridden, IV-attached life listening to doctors, friends, and family tell him that food wouldn’t kill him. He didn’t believe them, but on the day of his release, Toby finally agreed that he would try and eat more; he would try and exercise less; he would try to set reasonable standards for himself.
  Upon his return to school, Toby once again landed roles in both of the plays, this time both leading. It seemed as if he had found his calling, and he couldn’t be happier. When he received his diploma, Toby knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life.

adulthood (sort of).

• 18 - 20 ;; As soon as he could save enough money, Toby packed his bags and headed for New York City with his eyes on Broadway. Off the stage, he was still the withdrawn, cooperative person he had been for his father, but on stage he had been loud. In character, he had been outspoken; he had been noticed. And if he could just get one role in a Broadway play, Tobin Young was certain that he could make it.
  Not long after he moved to New York, Toby found a job as a barista for one of the few cafés that wasn’t a Starbucks and moved into a small apartment located near the East Village. He was happy.
  
• 21 ;; For his 21st birthday, Toby got himself a tattoo: his mother’s name in Russian behind his left ear. It seemed fitting, and he was happy with it.
  
• 22 - present ;; Since his move to NYC, Toby has landed a few minor roles in a few different stage plays and has switched jobs a total of five times. Currently, he waits tables at a bar near his apartment and is looking for the next ‘open audition’ sign to be posted. A few of the regulars at the bar have suggested that he try auditioning for television and film, and though Toby isn’t nearly as crazy about the idea, he has agreed to give it his best shot.
  Though he still struggles from anorexic tendencies, Toby is, for the most part, much better than he was in high school.

/ christmas came early for me

alias. Hannah/Squeegee.
years of rp experience. About seven.
other characters. None yet.
how did you find us. A long and complicated system of hoop-jumping. But basically I found you through your advertisement on another site.
roleplay sample.

"Hey Faris! Let's go to the beach!"
That's the first thing he remembered since that day she left.
Seriously. He hadn't remembered eating. Or sleeping. Or waking up. Is that project in drawing due two days from now or last week?
He had no fucking clue.

Obviously, the middle child of the Panzram family had picked up on this and set out to fix it almost immediately. Starting with... well... "Let's go to the beach!"

Slowly, he had crawled out of bed and put on his belt. He had picked up his new plaid and put it on over his new hair. His old tattoo. Fred had thrown one of his old sweaters at him and now he was wearing a pond scum green thing that was way too big on him. Two thin, tan stripes ran parallel at the top of it, horizontal.
He put on his socks. His shoes. He picked up Oscar. He said goodbye to the gliders that were going to sleep for the day.

And without breakfast, he and Fred walked out the door.

Once they got there, they had taken off their shoes. Faris had played a few tunes while Fred tried to get him to talk. It was pretty uneventful, really. But hey, what could you expect?

Now it was a little past noon, and the older brother was finally making progress. The sky was cloudy this day, and it was windy. They waves were getting progressively bigger, and as the two brothers sat admiring this site, the younger one finally smiled a bit, digging his feet into the sand and leaning back on his hands.
That... is basically where we come in.

"So are you ever gunna talk today? Or am I sitting with a mute."
"You're sitting with a mute."
Faris leaned back, sinking into the sand. The sweater that was way too big for him almost made him feel like he was wrapped in a blanket. The sky was beautiful, and stretching his hands over his head, he yawned as he watched the clouds pass. For a while, he felt at peace.
Much more than he had since that incident at the hill, anyway.

"Alright." Fred laughed, nudging Faris a bit. "Well, as long as you're mute... I'm sorry for what happened the other day. I didn't mean to kill anything for you."
Faris nodded, smiling a bit. "It's fine. You didn't mean it." He felt sleepy. And distant. He sounded distant.
"You're not mad?"
"Not at all..."

He wondered... should he...? Yes. He should tell his brother what happened between them. If only because he told his brother everything.

"Hey... Fred?" Faris looked over at him. The distance was still in his voice and in his eyes, but he couldn't really notice anymore. It'd been with him for a while now.
"Yeah, Faz?"
"Can I... I mean..."
"You wanna talk about her?" Fred shifted a bit, lying down beside him and putting his hands behind his head.
"She's beautiful..."

There was a pause. A wave broke and the water rushed to cover their exposed feet. Fred pulled his legs back in an instant. Faris barely seemed to notice.
The elder one wanted to inquire more, but somehow he knew that the answers would come anyway. Faris wanted to talk now. All he needed to do was listen.

"I really... How could I do that to her?" Another wave. Faris put his hands behind his head. His feet were growing numb.
He failed to notice.

"She was perfect. She was amazing. And I... just... let her go." He wasn't really moving. Just observing. And talking. At least, he thought he was talking. "I love her. Still. She hates me. And the only thing I wanna do is... kiss her.... Fuck." He exhaled. As he did, it looked like he was sinking further into the sand.

"I fucked up. She's the greatest person to ever step into my life and I fucking let her leave... I should be shot."
"You did everything you could, Faris."
"No. I didn't..."

[han]

ANOTHER HANNAH :{D