ANDERSON, cael arthur

[kieran]

cael arthur anderson.

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/ i want to voice this out loud

full name. Cael Arthur Anderson.
stage name. Cael Anderson.
nicknames. Cael, Andy.
age dob. Twenty-eight; 30 September, 1982.
gender. Masculine.
sexual orientation. Thinks of himself as heterosexual.
career. Crew member [screenwriter].
hometown. Toronto, Canada.


/ it's therapeutic somehow

height. 5’7.”
eyes. Hazel.
hair. Brown.
build. Normal/'average' build, but non-athletic.
distinguishing features. He has a plethora of circular-shaped burn marks on the inside of his left forearm that he usually covers up with a mass of bracelets of different color and shape. If anyone ever gets close enough to examine him, they’ll also see that he has quite the assortment of scars from his high school/college days.
play-by. Kieran Culkin.


/ so i'm moving to new york

loves. Comedy/making people laugh, random acts of kindness, birds, most mammals, dreaming, escapism, indie music/films, watching movies in general, 1000 Ways To Die, Conor Oberst, concerts, reading, writing, Wes Anderson, chocolate covered strawberries, paintball, laser tag, having ‘his space,’ getting hurt [physical], people.
hates. Intentionally upsetting someone because it’s ‘funny,’ having to ‘share secrets,’ any kind of baked goods mix, yogurt, jello, milk, other people telling him who he is, most television, his middle name, people invading ‘his space’ without permission, people he cares about being wronged, Ke$ha, getting hurt [emotional], people.
quirks.

• He hates cookie dough and brownie/cake mix. Part of it has to do with the fact that he doesn’t like raw eggs. Most of it has to do with the fact that the texture just weirds him out.
  
• If a woman is hitting on him and he needs to get out of the situation, his default excuse is to tell her he’s gay.
  
• When he’s uncomfortable, he doesn’t smile all the way. Instead, the corner of his mouth will twitch, or he’ll only smile with half of his mouth. His laughter tends to sound more like a forced hiccup in these situations as well.
  
• When he watches tv, he always has to mute the commercials.
  
• He loves to sleep, not because he’s particularly tired or depressed (though he is usually both of those things), but because his bed is the safest place he knows of.

aspirations.

• Be Wes Anderson (or at least work with him on a film).
  
• Be happy/comfortable with himself.
  
• Go a full month without drinking/smoking anything.
  
• Marry/be in a long-term relationship.

secrets.

• Though he considers himself heterosexual, Cael did have one romantic relationship with a guy in his junior year of college. He’s not particularly ashamed of it, but he doesn’t like to talk about it openly for fear of changing the way people think about him.
  
• Though he tries to hide it, Cael is very self-destructive. He drinks when he’s alone. He’s tried illegal drugs, and he frequently smokes marijuana. In high school years and most of college, he would do things solely for the purpose of getting injured, including, but not limited to, getting into brawls, putting out joints/cigarettes/matches on his arm, and refusing to wear safety-anything in our out of school. Though he’s not as bad as he was, he still retains all of these habits to some degree.
  
• Cael attempted suicide his junior year of college. The man that talked him down was his roommate, the one man that he had a relationship with, and the one man that got him to tone down his previously mentioned self-destructive habits.
  
• Despite his intense want to end his life, Cael is incredibly afraid of death.

personality evaluated.

Cael has some good traits.

• He’s very private. This means that if you have something you don’t want to show or say, he won’t pressure you into it. What’s yours is none of his business about 90% of the time, and unless you are comfortable sharing something, he doesn’t need to know about it.
  
• If you are a friend, or someone else close to him, Cael is loyal to the death and very protective. He will do favors for you, be there for you, and even get into fights for you. Relationships are scarce in his life, and he cherishes every one he has.
  
• Regardless of his inherent shyness, he loves to be around people. They give him a distraction from the world and his problems, and there’s always something to do when someone else is around.
  
• He absolutely loves making people laugh. When he’s with others, he’ll try and crack jokes or do something mildly entertaining to get the people he’s with to smile. He wants those around him to be in a good mood, and he’ll stop at nothing to achieve it.
  
• Despite all his uncertainties about himself, Cael is fairly confident that what he writes is worth reading and producing. He puts a lot of time and care into his work, and he knows that it shows in the finished product.

And some in-between traits.

• Cael is shy. Half of it has to do with him not wanting to open up to others. The other half of it has to do with him not knowing how to open up to others.
  
• He dislikes thinking about death for an extended period of time. He hates thinking about mortality and what comes after life. It’s stressful.
  
• As long as you haven’t done something evil and/or stupid, Cael is one of the biggest people-pleasers in New York. This means that a ) he’s generally well-liked among people that see him in public and b ) he almost never has the opportunity to be himself when he’s around other people. He tends to conform to what others think and do what others want him to do without putting too much thought into what he’s agreeing to or what he’s doing. Of course he’ll draw the line somewhere, but that somewhere is so far away that Cael’s more or less considered a doormat at social events. The only time he really thinks he can be him is when he’s by himself.

But he has some bad traits, too.

• He’s very private. This also means that nearly everything he does is done in secret. No one sees his house. No one sees his body. No one knows his thoughts. No one knows what emotions he’s feeling if he can help it. With the exception of his work, everything he does he keeps to himself, and he prefers to keep it that way.
  
• As you’ve probably figured out, Cael has a very low self-esteem, and because of that he relies almost solely on others’ opinions of him. He’s unsure of himself and uncomfortable unless someone confirms for him that he’s doing the right thing.
  
• Cael’s flat out afraid of rejection and criticism. He wants to be liked, and he wants his work to be liked, and when that doesn’t happen he tends to get very hurt, going back to one of his many vices to try and make the situation more bearable. This also means that when someone attacks him, he tends to not fight back and just accept whatever they’re saying.
  
• Despite everything that was mentioned in the previous bullet, if you cross a line, Cael will defend himself. If you do something to get him that incredibly angry, he will yell, he will punch, and he will get violent. This has only happened a few times in his life, but somewhere in the recesses of his mind, it’s still an option.
  
• If you threaten someone that’s not him, he will punch you out. Cael rarely defends himself, but when it comes to his friends, family, and people that he doesn’t see as the spawn of Satan, he will stop at nothing to make sure they get the respect they deserve. For this reason, Cael will yell at you if you’re doing something out of line, and under extreme circumstances he will still start a fight.
  
• He's clinically depressed and refuses to do anything about it. In his mind, it'll work itself out eventually, and until then he can deal with it. Plus, he doesn't have the money to pay for a therapist or anti-depressant medication in the first place.

/ i've got issues with my sleep

father. Samuel Anderson , 61 , retired [worked for GM].
mother. Linda Rippon , 58 , secretary.
siblings.
Kris Anderson , 32 , commercial airline pilot.
Roger Anderson , 24 , student [working on Master’s].
pets. Harry , goldfish , deceased.
other family. None important/that he knows of.
history evaluated.

• Being the second of three children, nothing much interesting happened to Cael as a child.* He was taught to be respectful and mindful of others through interactions with his teachers and with his brothers. He was taught to back down from a fight from the other children at school. He was taught that goldfish died when you didn’t clean their fishbowls by the goldfish that died when he and his brothers forgot to clean its fishbowl, and he was taught that mourning for a dead fish was stupid by the same brothers that did not cry for an entire day after they buried their dead goldfish.
  Through most of his life, Cael’s parents were almost always absent, and thus, from them he learned that love was something to be earned. He also learned that love was something he was not good enough to earn.
  
• When he was about nine, Cael’s family moved to New York (the state) from Toronto. Though his older brother was devastated by the sudden change in country and the sudden loss of all of his friends and his younger brother was devastated because they weren’t in the same house, the move barely fazed Cael, and he settled in within the first week of being there. Continuing to sit in his room all day and read and think to himself, he was quite comfortable in their new environment until he turned on the television.
  For those of us that don’t know, Canada has government healthcare. No insurance companies meant no insurance commercials (or even drug commercials), and everyone in the family had been quite comfortable with and used to watching tv without thinking about death or other health problems. In America, things were different. Every time something cut to commercial, Cael was bombarded with the notion that he needed to be fixed; he was going to die unless he gave someone money; he would not be happy unless he gave someone money. But he had no money. He was mortal. He was helpless. He was going to die, and he was going to die soon, and there was nothing that he could do about it.
  Ever since this newfound realization, Cael Anderson has thought about death frequently. He has been afraid of death, and he has remembered his fear frequently. And he has been at least mildly afraid of American television commercials ever since.
  
• Starting the fourth grade in America was difficult for Cael. The subject material was fine and tests and homework were effortless, but the kids he went to school with were brutal. Though he could see that many of them had good intentions, he could also see that they enjoyed teasing their classmates for reasons out of their classmates’ control. This kid wore glasses, that kid has asthma. In his case it was “Your middle name is Arthur.” Before fourth grade, he had always been proud of his middle name (hell, it was the name of a king!), but coming out of it he just felt insecure. He felt dorky. And from that point forward he hated his middle name.
  
• During middle school, and after that intense learning period that was his childhood, Cael closed himself off to the world a little more. He wasn’t angry, and he wasn’t sad, but nevertheless he became shyer, choosing to bury himself in books, go for walks, or sit in his room and think (see *) rather than play with other kids his age. His elder brother was off to high school and his younger brother was starting to join every sports team available to him, so Cael was left well enough alone. He didn’t complain, as he assumed the lack of attention he received was warranted by the fact that he never did anything very interesting.
  Though no one had ever flat out rejected him (teasing was different, he was convinced), Cael became increasingly fearful of not being accepted. For this reason, he started keeping his ideas more to himself and started to help anyone he thought could use a break.
  
• Cael started high school. It sucked. Freshman year they made fun of him because he hadn’t gone through puberty yet. Sophomore year (and every year after) they made fun of him because he had gone through puberty and his voice still sounded like a girl’s. Junior and senior year they made fun of him because he had grown his hair out and it looked greasy. And they never stopped making fun of him because they knew that they could get away with it 99% of the time. Because his voice was high, he dressed sloppily, and he never had a girlfriend, he quickly became known as ‘the gay kid’ or ‘the faggot’ around his school. It was not a good period in his life, and to cope with the stress he started to take it out on himself. First came burning himself (usually on his left forearm), then came marijuana. Alcohol soon followed (when he ran out of joints), and after that he took up fighting.
  
• The first time Cael stood up for anything was when he was sixteen and a junior. It was the day before his birthday and the girl he had been crushing on the year before was getting pushed around by her (supposed) boyfriend at lunch. After she repeatedly asked him to stop (to no avail) Cael stepped in and asked for her. When that didn’t work, he threw a punch at the supposed boyfriend. Considering it was his first fight and his first Random Act of Violence, Cael got his ass handed to him pretty quickly, but the girl he defended quickly offered to escort him to the nurse’s office. She stayed with him for as long as he was in the nurse’s care, and a week later they were dating. He shared his first kiss and his first sex with her, and at the time he was ecstatic. Things were turning around. However...
  
• Three weeks later they broke up. After their first sex it was clear to her that he was not what she wanted. She left him the next day and went on to bigger and better boys. Cael was devastated, and refused to come out of his room for nearly a week unless he had to. That entire week was spent either drunk, high, or both, and if his parents weren’t aware of his addictions before, they sure as hell were aware of them after.
  
• Though he never got over his issues, Cael still managed to graduate high school with a C average. With that, he was perfectly content with his life, but his parents wanted something better. His brother had already gotten his pilot’s license, and since he had triumphed there was absolutely no reason for Cael to just sit around and do nothing. With the agreement that they would pay for his education if he maintained a B average (and to get them to stop nagging), he chose a private art’s school in Chicago, and because he had always liked both writing and movies he decided to major in screenwriting. Miraculously, he was accepted based on his entrance essay, and in August he had started his first semester of college.
  
• The majority of the teasing stopped after high school (art students were very tolerant of others, he found) but his problems got worse regardless. Now he had to live on his own. Now he was expected to maintain a certain GPA. Now school was expensive and it mattered. And what was he going to do with this degree when he got it? Write movies? Fuck, no one would accept his work. He would be homeless. He would die homeless and alone and a disappointment to his parents. He couldn’t take it.
  
• After a downward spiral that had started in high school, Cael had finally had enough. He was no longer afraid of death, and on October 31st he went grocery shopping. Arriving back at his empty dorm with a bottle of vodka and a bottle of drain cleaner, he flopped down on his bed and immediately proceeded to get plastered. Before he could get his second drink open, however, his roommate came home, took the drain cleaner from him, and held him against the wall until he decided to listen. After an hour or so of persuasion, Roommate finally convinced Cael to talk, and when he did, he talked about everything. He expressed his problems, his fears. He told him what he wanted to do with his life and why he thought it was never going to work. He told him why he was useless. He showed him the dozens of self-inflicted burn marks on his arms. Until the sun came up, Cael expressed every feeling he had ever had, and Roommate did his best to try and respond or at least listen. After they reached the eight am mark, Cael had finally run out of steam. He had been crying nearly all night; he was nearing sobriety; he was tired, and when he finally feel asleep he did so with his head resting in Roommate’s lap. Rather than move him, Roommate let him sleep, covering him with a blanket and grabbing a pillow for himself, falling asleep only after he was convinced that his suicidal friend was safe for the night.
  
• Cael dated his roommate, Alan. After what had happened on Halloween, neither one of them wanted to leave the other alone. Cael needed Alan for emotional stability, and Alan enjoyed having someone to care for. Though they never did anything sexual, they shared an emotional relationship unparalleled by anything either of them had ever experienced, and in that time, they grew incredibly close. In that time, Alan set him on the right path. He got him to stop drinking as much. He got him to stop smoking as much. He got him to stop experimenting with dangerous drugs, and got him to stop injuring himself on a daily basis. Though Cael’s people-pleasing, self-destructive personality would never change completely, Alan taught him to be more comfortable with himself and to go get the job that he wanted. When they both graduated the next year, Cael was the healthiest he’d been since he was a kid, and unlike high school, this ‘brake up’ was not painful. Both men went their separate ways, and both men were happy with their decisions.
  
• After he graduated, Cael moved to New York City to pursue his career in screenwriting. At present, he lives in a small apartment in the East Village and works as a manager at a music shop. Though he has regressed some in the means of alcohol and smoke, he is still much better than he was in college. When he’s not at work, he’s working on his screenwriting in one way or another, and though a few of his films have been made, none of them have had enough publicity to give him huge recognition. He’s okay with that.

*Imaginary Friends OR Why Cael’s Parents Occasionally Thought He Was Dead – Cael has never had a crowd of friends following him. He was lucky to have one or two people he could even talk to. For this reason, from when he was five to the month before he started high school, Cael had an imaginary friend. Her name was Charlie and she kicked ass and took names. She took shit from no one, and she would listen to absolutely everything he had to say. She would help him plot story ideas, or help him pick which book to read next. She would listen to him when something upsetting or exciting had happened, and she would talk to him if he just needed someone to talk to. When he was scared about anything, she would help calm him down. She was always there, and for that reason Cael barely ever left his room, even when he wasn’t doing anything. Because if he never left his room, he could just lay on his bed, close his eyes, and pretend to talk to the person that actually cared about him. Before partaking in this ritual, he would always lock his door. Half the time he would fall asleep on his bed. And a quarter of that time, Cael’s parents would bang on his door and not be able to get him to wake up in a ‘safe’ amount of time. They thought he was on drugs. They thought he was dead. They thought he had run away. As he grew older, these concerns increased, and by the time he was fourteen and ready to start high school, he finally had to say goodbye to Charlie the imaginary, ass-kicking therapist.

/ christmas came early for me

alias. The Other Hannah.
years of rp experience.Infinite [read as: sevenish].
other characters. Toby Young.
how did you find us. Advertising on a different site.
roleplay sample.

You already got one, yo.

[han]

you fascinate me, other-hannah. :{D