STOP PLAYING WITH MY HEAD ,

[dayna]

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this post was made for luka / sarah and it is complete. the outfit my lady jules is wearing can be viewed here. notes: erm, it's short, but it's a start.

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Being a hopeless romantic was one character trait that seemed to screw Jules over time and time again. The problem with it was that she always seemed to become involved with the guys had commitment issues or were just a bad influence all together. Sure she was only twenty-one, but she had never been in a relationship for fun. How could you be with a person just looking to have a good time? It never made sense to her. That was a waste of time. Love was about dating and finding a person that you are truely compatable with and spending the rest of their life with them right? For Jules it's never been about the thrill or sex or anything like that. It's always been about finding love, and never before she got involved with Luke had she ever had to wait around on a guy for multiple months to make up his mind if he wanted to be in a relationship or not.

At the beginning it was like a crush. They started hanging out a lot more on and off set of 'The Marriage Plan'. To her he was kind of the perfect, a great mix between edgy and quirky for her, she could have tons of fun with him as a friend but they could still be lovers. Her feelings turned into 'Hey I want to be with you' and he acted like he felt the same way, or at least that's what she understood. He would flirt with other girls but tell her 'You know how I feel about you, all of the other girls don't matter'. She bought it, sure. But then again, if all the other girls didn't matter, why was he flirting with them, why couldn't he be satisfied paying attention to her? She didn't flirt with other guys, and it bugged her that she was more committed to making them work than he was. They fought quite a bit.

Even though they had been drifting, Jules was still willing to make things work between them. She wanted a relationship god dammit, and he knew it. He knew what she wanted, but wasn't giving it to her. After months of waiting and waiting, something finally clicked in her head, and she realized that she needed to make him choose and stop acting like he was in the dark about where their relationship was headed. So she invited him over to her house and sat him down on the couch. She greated him as usual when he walked inside, but her body language showed him that she wasn't fooling around, and not in the mood to. "I'm sick and tired of waiting on you Luke." She told him, shuffling over to the couch she plopped herself down on it. "What's so wrong with us that we can't be together?" It couldn't be the fact that they fought about the same thing over and over again. She wasn't a nag, he was just slow. Usually she looked happy, but today it was different.

[luke]

they call me heart breaker
* - - - - - - i don't wanna deceive you

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it wasn't that luke didn't have feelings, no. he had certain feelings. there were ones that he was okay with exposing to the world, such as his anger towards spain doing so terribly in the world cup. there was disappointment when he couldn't go out and do something. there was happiness when he landed a job or got to do something out of the ordinary. but caring about someone? wanting a relationship with a girl? those were feelings he wasn't so keen about sharing with the world. and it wasn't like luke didn't want to be with jules. he did, for christ's sake. he wouldn't have spent the last couple of months (kind of) with her if he didn't like her. it was just...hard for him to admit it. it was hard to admit he wanted to be close to anyone who wasn't mary jane and his bros. he'd never been good at expressing his feelings because he was so afraid of being shut down. obviously, jules wasn't going to shut him down if he said "please be my girlfriend," but in luke's mind it didn't work like that. he wasn't able to commit for fear that at some point, for some reason (usually luke's fault) she would break it off and he would be heartbroken. and luke was too scared to let that happen.

when jules had invited him over, he knew it wasn't just to have a vegetarian lunch and some tea. they hadn't been fighting a lot, but they'd been arguing enough to let luke know that he wasn't going to be able to say a couple of romantic words and get off the hook. this was the day he wasn't looking forward to, simply because he had to make a decision. he knew it was coming, and he wasn't sure why he'd neglected to think about, other than that he was scared. putting it off as long as humanly possible would somehow make it easier for him, except in this case he couldn't win. if he rushed into something that he wasn't ready for, he would end up hurting jules. if he said no, that he wanted to wait a bit longer, jules would break it off and it would still end up hurting her. so either way, luke couldn't get off scot-free. there was no easy way out of this situation, except maybe to man up and choose. but luke didn't have quite that conviction and wasn't sure what he was going to say, even after everything.

luke walked into jules' place and could immediately tell that there was no screwing around right now. she meant business and wanted an answer today, an answer that luke wasn't sure how to give her. he couldn't just break it off with her. he cared about her--yes, cared about her--too much to just let her go. he wasn't sure if he had the courage to just man up and be her boyfriend. he hadn't actually been a boyfriend in...a very, very long time. he was careless and forgetful, and he was sure that he wouldn't last very long in a relationship because jules would feel neglected. at least this way, when he gave her attention at his own convenience, he would never have to worry about not giving her enough because they were actually dating. but now, if he was going to man up and admit his feelings, he would have to commit to being there for her. it was scary, because the only thing luke ever committed to was his job. sitting down, luke ran a hand through his hair and looked down at his lap, like a puppy with a tail between its legs. here it came.

she was obviously agitated. she wasn't smiling, and she didn't leave any room to joke around, so luke didn't try to lighten the mood. "i know, jules," he said. of course he knew. he'd known from the get go that this was going to happen, he'd just always tried to pretend like it wasn't there. "there's nothing wrong with us," he continued. "well, if there is something wrong, it's just me." she knew that was true. it wasn't her fault, all this stuff that was happening. "i...care about you. a lot, jules. and i know you know that." so far so good. he wasn't having to make a decision just yet, but he knew he wasn't going to get off the hook that easily.

tagged dayna!
words 760.
outfit here
credit template to me, graphic to safa.
notes lmao. i saw this picture and was like "this is perfect for luke's decision making thread!"

[dayna]

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this post was made for luka / sarah and it is complete. the outfit my lady jules is wearing can be viewed here. notes: sorry it took so long to reply! i found some muse.

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it seemed like for jules that she always had some type of boy drama. she was one of those girls that always felt the need to have somebody in her life, to be in a relationship and then always talk about how lousy it was. she was also naive and blinded by everything so easily. at the beginning of their little romantic endeavour jules was perfectly fine being the cute companion to luka garza, and even though she rarely ever had sex with people she was fine with being his bed warmer too. she wanted to give him everything he wanted, win him over and ultimately make him hers. but it had been months and nothing had been working. everything had gotten worse and then were on the down fall. jules was starting to look at guys again and ever since the marriage plan ended, they really had nothing else to do besides be distracted by each other. that's probably where they lost it.

sometimes she felt bad for making him choose. it was quite obvious that he had issues committing. what other girls where running around with him? none from what she knew. he told her that he cared about her a lot, enough that hearing those words over and over again were starting not to mean enough. she needed him to take action, prove to her he cared about her. and she couldn't agree more that he was the problem. but she wasn't going to say that out loud. "okay...so why can't you man up and make a choice?" jules unhappy was quite a rare sight, one that many people had never seen, and never will see. but lately she had been kind of down in the dumps about her man. or the man she wanted to be her man. "it's s simple decision. i really feel like you're leading me on. you either don't want to be with me or do." and even though she had it was simple, it probably wasn't for him. she didn't know what went on his mind, and she wished she did.

she stared at her coffee table, zoning out on him. her leg shook as she moved her foot up and down on the floor. she chewed on her painted finger nails too. she was thinking hard about what she was going to do with this boy that was sitting in her living room, making her crazy in her mind. "you know, there are tons of people in new york. plenty of guys that would love to go on a date with a dark haired indie actress." and she wasn't talking about kate peterson. she sat up on the couch and folded her hands in front of her as she scooted forward. "there are plenty of boys i can be with. but of all of the men in new york i chose you." she felt a little rude, but she was just trying to get her point across. "and so far you haven't proved to me that i've made the right choice." if only kate was in the room with her right now, she would love this.

[luke]

they call me heart breaker
* - - - - - - i don't wanna deceive you

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luke tended to avoid the types of girls that would eventually want a relationship. usually, when he slept with a girl, it was under the unspoken pretense that it was just them sleeping together. or they were too fucked up to even care in the morning. but when he'd met jules, something about her had struck him. and it wasn't like other girls hadn't struck him in the same way, but something about jules kept him coming back. it kept him around, still hanging out at her place and wanting to be around her. there was something about juliette moore-ross that luke couldn't stay away from and it was...a foreign feeling. he wasn't used to feeling like that, to being the one who wanted more out of their friendship. so naturally, luke being luke, he pretended like he wasn't as interested as he was. luke didn't get attached, girls got attached to luke. he wasn't about to change his game up for this girl...but as time went on, he realized that it was changing anyway. when he would flirt with a girl, or would try to get with one, there was something in the back of his mind telling him not to, that it was wrong. was that his conscience? he wasn't sure, because he'd never had one before. when he saw that flirting with other girls hurt jules, he felt...bad? remorseful? he wasn't sure because again, he'd never felt that before.

now it was the time to make a decision. but could he really commit? commitment meant heartbreak, inevitable heartbreak. wasn't it easier to just cut all the ties now, get over it now, and not worry about it later? but something in luke told him that he didn't want to cut the ties. he liked jules, which was more than he could say about most girls. he liked her, he wanted to be around her, and if it meant committing...well, he wasn't sure if he could do it. but could he at least try? this was the battle that had been going on inside his head for weeks, maybe months now. it was torture, to be torn between what he was used to wanting and what he was starting to want, more and more. a relationship. the word was foreign on his tongue and he hadn't uttered it in a serious context for many years now. and then jules played the masculinity card. why couldn't he "man up." he felt a little ashamed at that, but his shame soon melted when she said he was leading her on. "i'm not leading you on!" he said a bit defensively. "i've been honest with you. i like you jules, a lot. i like you, i've been honest about that and i want to be with you..." he trailed off, knowing that he couldn't bring himself to end the sentence with "so be my girlfriend." he wasn't there yet, he wasn't quite there yet.

luke felt his shame returning as she mentioned the other guys she could be with. that was true. that was actually very true. what did luke have going for him that other guys didn't? sometimes (when his ego wasn't stomping around like a territorial beast) he wondered just what jules saw in him. he was a bit of an asshole, he was a womanizer, and very arrogant. he got bored easily and was impatient, he was inappropriate at all times and not just at the wrong times. he had very few redeeming qualities in the long run and yet jules had chosen him. she'd still chosen him over everyone else and he was sure that a gorgeous, petite bombshell like jules could have just about any guy she really wanted. sighing, luke leaned back into the couch, rubbing his eyes a bit. "what do you see in me, jules? sometimes i wonder if maybe this is all a dream and you're going to tell me one day that none of it was real," he said honestly. a bit too honestly, because that was largely a part of why he didn't want to commit, though he'd never end that sentence with this explanation. he didn't want to commit because he felt like he wasn't good enough for jules, that he would just tie her down, and that she would eventually realize this and drop him like a ton of bricks.

tagged dayna!
words 721.
outfit here
credit template to me, graphic to safa.
notes SORRY THIS TOOK LIKE FOREVER. ):