i'll stop the world & melt with you ,

[chloe]

WELL, I LIE AND I'M EASY
all of the time ,
BUT I'M NEVER SURE WHY I NEED YOU - *

LOST; THAT'S HOW JASPER WAS NOWADAYS.

[/color] he had no idea what the fuck he was doing anymore. hell, he didn't have the slightest clue was he was still existing. there were days that passed and he couldn't remember what he did. not that it mattered; nothing that he did was worthy of substantial praise. life at the moment.. it wasn't too great for jasper. he felt like everyone he knew was abandoning him. elias was off, doing god knows what god knows where. jasper hadn't been at the apartment for a few days, due to the fact that he didn't want to see him. everyone else was living life, having a dandy time with their dandy lives. of course, it was jasper that was left in the dust. he knew that it would come down to this one day; it wasn't something shocking. he'd done so good in life, just staying away from everyone and keeping to himself. now that he let people into his life and opened up a little bit more, it hurt. it hurt to know that he was being abandoned. but oh, he'd be fine. he was always fine. he did fine all by himself. all the love he ever needed in his life was his self-love and the love of his aunt. but he didn't even have that anymore.

jasper spent his time thinking about this, even when he didn't want to. he didn't want to think about being alone. he'd been alone so long... so, so long. he didn't want to feel that way anymore. and this is where the drugs came into play. the drugs were like candy in his veins; they made him feel good. they made him feel better. the made him like he had some role in society that would crumble without him. and when the people around him did drugs, everyone was full of life and joy. there was no sadness. there was no pain. it was just a bunch of people, having a good time. it was like a Beatles song being on repeat, without end. maybe shooting up wasn't the way to achieving happiness but hey, the high was good and the happiness was good. and now, both elias and chelsea knew about it. he was at one of his lowest points ever and elias and chelsea had to hunt him down and get him while he was high on heroin. it was for this reason that jasper tried to avoid elias as much as possible; he didn't want to be thought of as a junkie. he wasn't a junkie. he wasn't a addict. he was just somewhat miserable.

and here was jasper, sitting on the bed in his room silently. a cigarette hanging from his lips as it burned so cautiously. all these ugly thoughts ran through his head, like a nightmare you couldn't wake from. these past few weeks was torturous. he didn't want to deal with life anymore. he even went so far as to contemplate suicide. did he really want to take the route of his father and pussy out of life? he didn't know. he thought it would be easy for his friends if he did. it would take a few months, maybe six months, for him to be unknown after the fact. jasper shook the thought out of his head as he took a pull from his cigarette. he rubbed his eyes and let out an exhausted sigh. "you're losing it, jasper."[/color] he told himself out loud, shaking his head a little more. he couldn't sit in this room alone. hell, he couldn't be in this apartment alone. it was just too depressing. maybe someone - some poor, naive creature - would give him the time of day. jasper rose from his bed, moving around the apartment until he shuffled over to the bathroom. he opened the mirror and pulled out the orange bottle of pills, which he swallowed a few dry and threw the bottle back in. god, he hated his meds. jasper threw the rest of his cigarette into the toilet bowl and flushed it, turning on the heel of his shoe and exited the apartment with not a glance back.

he wasn't exactly sure where he was going.... then again, he never really did. he always just sort of let his feet guide him to whatever destination he was going. but then he remembered; he had spoken to annika not to long ago. he hadn't seen the girl in a while, thanks to all his california mishaps. he missed her; she'd been there for him throughout so much already. he wasn't going to spill his problems to her; hell, he wasn't even going to tell her about them. but she always managed to cheer him up, even when she was completely oblivious to his problems. he remembered their little kiss situation, but that was only because she was trying to get the bottle from him. it made him feel a little odd thinking about it, so he decided not to. it was just her messing around, right? his direction shifted as he began to walk to the girl's apartment. so, he was going to show up unannounced. so what? it would be a little surprise. as long as she wasn't having sex with anyone when he arrived or anything like that, he didn't care. and if she told him to go away, he would. he didn't have the time or energy to put effort on people that didn't care. it wasn't long before he reached the familiar building of a familiar friend. he walked up to the door and held his hand out to knock, but didn't. instead, he twisted the knob; the door was unlocked. hmm, that was funny. he always checked people's doors before he knocked, because if they were unlocked, he'd just walk right in. jasper stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "annika?"[/color] he called out, waiting to see if he would get a response.

closed for annika.

* WORD COUNT; one thousand and two. * LYRICS; song 2 by blur. * FINALLY FINISHED, WHATUP. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/font]

[annika]

* - - remind me that we'll always have each other

[/b]
when everything else is gone[/font][/size][/i][/center]

annika didn't smoke much. hell, you could say that she didn't smoke at all. but sometimes when something was stressing her out immensely, annika would light up a cigarette. to the people who knew her, this was a warning sign that something was wrong. at least it was calming her down some. running a shaking hand through her hair, annika feverishly wandered through her apartment, picking up things and throwing them on her bed. "fuck," she said under her breath. it had been the only word she'd uttered all day since she'd received a phone call from...someone. she'd gotten a call from her ex-fiancee ahmed. this had happened before and it wasn't that big of a deal. of course, she'd left for florida to clear her head, but it was nothing compared to what was going on now. right now, her insides were turning over and over, she felt nauseous and couldn't bear the thought of staying in new york for another second. he hadn't just contacted her. he hadn't just asked how she'd been doing, and he hadn't just casually started a conversation. he'd asked if he could see her. to meet up with her. and knowing ahmed, even if she said no, he would find a way to do it.

clothes, shoes. her favorite shirt, her jersey to sleep in, her slippers. her toothbrush, makeup bag, toothpaste, hair spray, shampoo. everything was lying scattered across her bed as she frantically paced through the house. looking over at her ferrets' cage, annika let out an anxious moan. she couldn't bring sekhmet and amun with her--but then again, she wasn't quite sure where she was going in the first place. she wasn't going home, of course. she couldn't go to florida again on such short notice and she surely wasn't going to stay here. whipping out her phone, annika texted her sister anais to let her know that she'd be leaving for a while and she needed someone to take care of the ferrets. she let her know where the spare key was and threw her phone down with the rest of her things. what was she forgetting? she was going to forget something. she had her phone charger, and her camera, enough clothes to last her a week or two, and enough cash to get her on a bus to anywhere (despite her loathing of public transportation). what was she forgetting?

oh, a suitcase. "fuck!" annika said rather loudly, taking a long drag of the cigarette hanging from between her lips. it did nothing to calm her shaking but her heart began to beat a little more slowly and annika took a deep breath after she'd exhaled the smoke. this was good, it was progress. she was beginning to relax a little more. she wouldn't have to worry about ahmed...or seeing him. or him finding her, wherever she was going. thinking about it wasn't helping. letting out a helpless whine, annika stumbled out of her bedroom and began her search for a suitcase. or a duffel bag. or anything that might hold all of the shit she needed to bring with her. nothing really seemed big enough. she checked the spare room closet: nothing. she checked underneath all of the beds: nothing. she found an old duffel bag from high school but it was too small and obviously only meant to hold one outfit for gym class and some shoes. "fuck, fuck, fuck," annika said feverishly, looking at the clock. what if ahmed showed up? what if he waltzed right in? she wasn't sure what she would do--it had been so long and she hadn't even considered seeing him again.

taking another long and soothing drag of the cigarette, annika sat down on the arm of the couch for a moment. 'think,' she said mentally, trying to remember where she put her traveling suitcase. a couple more drags of her cigarette helped--the laundry room. of course! running over to the washer, she flung open the closet with the linens and towels and pulled her suitcase from the top. "yes!" she said victoriously. now she could pack her things and leave before...ahmed showed up. "fuck," she said yet again, remembering her need for the suitcase. throwing the suitcase on her bed, she began to fold and organize her clothes and belongings the best she could to make everything fit. she was only halfway done when she heard the front door open and a male voice say her name. now, annika knew what jasper's voice sounded like and had it been any other day (when ahmed hadn't contacted her) she would have greeted the male enthusiastically. but right now, all she could think about was ahmed, and him trying to see her. so naturally, the voice turned into ahmed's and annika began to tremble again.

slowly, annika walked out of her bedroom and into the living room to see who'd opened the door. annika peeked around the corner, cigarette still hanging out of her mouth. when she realized that the male who'd entered her apartment was jasper, a wave of emotion swept over her. at first, she was immensely relieved that it wasn't ahmed. then she felt a certain amount of happiness, because she hadn't seen jasper in a while. but then she felt angry, for him coming in unannounced. that quickly passed and she became angry with herself for working this all up in her head and thinking that ahmed would sneak into her house. she didn't know what to say to jasper, so instead she threw the remaining butt of her cigarette down and embraced him tightly. "god, jasper," she finally said, letting go of him and stepping on the cigarette before walking into the living room to sit down. the house was a mess of course, because she'd been tearing it apart to look for things she needed before she bolted out of new york city. "i thought you were someone else. i'm glad you're here." he would probably take that the wrong way and pick on her about giving him a compliment--but she didn't care right now. resting her head in her hand, annika realized she was still trembling, almost violently. "you got another smoke?" she asked.

tagged chloe.
words 1064.
outfit too lazy!
credit template to me
notes yayyyy.