MALONE, anaxzandra corinne

[xzandr]

anaxzandra corinne malone.

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/ i want to voice this out loud

full name. Anaxzandra Corinne Malone
stage name. Xzandr Malone
nicknames. Xzandr
age & dob. twenty-six, april thirteen, nineteen eighty-four.
gender. female
sexual orientation. bisexual
career. "unknown", tv/film acting
hometown. Austin, TX


/ it's therapeutic somehow

height. 5'4"
eyes. Blue-Grey
hair. Dark brown
build. Slender- not a whole lot of body fat, but not really muscular. Works out just enough to where she doesn't get plump
distinguishing features. Two tattoos- the Boondock Saints prayer down her left side, and "Why so serious?" down her right. No piercings, and no really note-worthy scars.
play-by. Olivia Wilde


/ so i'm moving to new york

loves. + Movies
+ Video games
+ Musicals
+ Music in general
+ Acting
+ Warm summer nights
hates. - Rap
- Speed limits
- Excessive serious-ness
- Small children
- Activists
- Hippies
quirks. + Sings along with songs she knows. Loudly.
+ Cannot go a day without playing Band Hero.
+ If anybody touches her radio, she goes ape shit.
aspirations. + Be on the A-list
+ Have at least one movie that becomes a "classic" or TV show that lasts for as many seasons as Law & Order did
+ Prove everyone who ever doubted her wrong
secrets. - Has to fake most of the happiness she shows
- Actually is as full of herself as she seems, though she pretends it's just an act
- Hates most of the projects she works on
- Is very, very nerdy- a huge Star Trek fan, fluent in Klingon.
- is asthmatic, always carries her inhaler- keeps it hidden and tells no one because she thinks they'll think she's weak
personality evaluated.
Outwardly, Xzandr is cool as a cucumber. Nothing gets her too worried or scared, or phases her in any way. She has a hard time showing emotion outwardly, and because of this, if she shows something that isn't anger or generally a "poker face", it's usually forced. She refuses to open herself up to anyone, afraid to get hurt by them. She can do fine with normal conversation, and day-to-day interaction, but get her alone for an extended period of time, and it gets bad. She can be a huge bitch to people, or at least, that's how people describe her often. That, and completely full of herself. Don't ever ask her how she thinks she did in a movie/TV show, she'll only go on for an hour about how awesome she is, and how the script sucks but she totally rocked it. This is true even if she didn't do well- she just has a very high opinion of herself, and it's almost impossible to break that.

Xzandr can be very condescending. She has a very low tolerance for people who don't understand something right away. She has above-average intelligence, and unfortunately, she knows it. She has been known to freely call people "idiot" if they don't know something that she does, even if there's no way they could have known it. Xzandr has no brain-to-mouth filter; what she thinks is what she says. She doesn't care where she is, who is with her, or what the situation is- if she thinks something, it will immediately spew out of her mouth, no matter how obscene or inappropriate it is. She has very little self-control in that way, or very little willingness to use it. In speech, she certainly has no inhibitions, so why should she have any in actions? She does what she wants, when she wants, and can often be found at a bar, or in the morning she can be spotted sneaking out of some random guy's home.

But Xzandr isn't entirely negative. Despite being a huge bitch, and to the few people who manage to break down that barrier and tolerate being arounf her without being forced, she is fiercely loyal. You mess with someone she's close to and considers a friend, she will fuck you up. She will never actually admit to being close to anyone, but has a roundabout way of showing it. For the people she's close to, she'll do anything for them.

/ i've got issues with my sleep

father. gregory malone , 54 , anatomy professor
mother. alli malone, 53 , nurse
siblings. N/A
pets. N/A
other family. N/A
history evaluated.

• April 13^th, 1984; Xzandr was born in a hospital in Austin, Texas. Her parents- a nurse and an anatomy professor at a local college- had been trying for years, and finally got a child. It was a normal birth, but a couple hours later, Alli started bleeding, and when all other things failed to get the bleeding under control, surgeons performed a radical hysterectomy to save her life. She survived, but would never be able to have another biological child.
  
• Xzandr was a healthy child, at least at first, if a little on the small side. She was sent home from the hospital, ironically before her mother, a couple days after birth. It was up to her father, even after his wife came home, to take care of Xzandr most of the time, due to her needing to heal.
  
• When Xzandr was three, her mother finally decided it was time to go back to work, and because her father had to be at the university all day to teach, she was placed in a day care that specialized in getting children ready for school. Xzandr was on the younger end of the age spectrum they would accept, but it's never too early to prepare, right? That's what her professor father thought. He'd been reading to her every night since she came home from the hospital, determined that she would do well in school when she finally got there.
  
• A couple months into the daycare program, one of the caretakers called Alli at work to tell her that Xzandr was being rushed to the ER because she was having a really hard time breathing. Alli had noticed that, at home, Xzandr was taking a while to catch her breath after doing something like, for example, going up the stairs, and had an appointment scheduled with the pediatrician for a couple days from then, but she never saw it get this bad. She was given a diagnosis of asthma, and started on medication for that, and seemed to improve, getting back to daycare after a couple days at home recovering from the attack.
  
• At five, she started Kindergarten, and it was clear that she was, at least academically, advanced. Socially, though, she was lacking, and after only a week of classes, she was suspended from school calling the teacher an idiot, and kicking her in the leg when she tried to take Xzandr to the principal's office. After this incident, and to prevent a repeat, Alli decided to leave work again, at least until Xzandr was out of school, to home-school her. This went a lot better than public school, for Xzandr. She was still academically ahead of the game. But because she was always home, she was always under her parents' pressure to succeed. She had very little time to play just for the hell of it, and forget about watching TV or reading books that had no discernable academic value. Everything had to be academically relevent, and if it wasn't, she was stuck with re-reading textbooks or taking some random quiz her parents created to test her knowledge of the class materials.
  
• Around the beginning of what would have been her freshman year of high school, Xzandr managed to convince her parents to let her go back to public school. She was older, more grounded academically, and certainly could control the urge to call people idiots and kick them- right? She was enrolled, and started school the same day as everyone who had been in public school their entire lives. Her social skills weren't much better, but at least she wasn't getting calls home, detentions, or suspensions.
  
• It was in high school that she discovered theater. Her school was well-known for both academics and its theater. Xzandr was forced to focus mainly on academics, and when she was home on the weekends and evenings after school, she was still pushed to study or do something academic all the time. Every year when the auditions for the school musical came along, she would stare at the sign-up sheet and be sad, but know she was not allowed to even bother trying out. But in her senior year, when her school was doing a production of Fiddler on the Roof, she signed up, and got the part of Czeitel.
  
• Being in the cast of the school production of Fiddler... made Xzandr realize how much she loved theater- it was the first time she'd ever really been exposed to it, since her parents both believed theater was purely for entertainment and had no place in her life. It was also when she really started to blossom into the Xzandr we all know and hate love today. She disappeared into the bathroom with the guy playing the part of the Fiddler just before the play began, and during the intermission, she disappeared into the bathroom with the guy playing Tevye. She still snickers to herself about Tevye, sometimes wondering if that was technically incest, considering her character was his character's daughter. It was by no means her first time, just the first time she did so with no regard to feelings.
  
• Also during her senior year in high school, she finally convinced her parents to let her go to a school function, her senior prom. If they ever knew what went on there and afterward, they would regret the decision. But luckily,. Xzandr and everyone involved still remain silent about all the disappearing into empty rooms, cocaine use, and consumption of alcohol. Obviously, she hadn't spent the night at home that night, or she would have been caught. Before getting too incoherent, she called home and, somehow, managed to get permission to spend the night at "a friend's house" to "study for finals" all night after prom. ...Neither of those things were true.
  
• She graduated high school alongside the rest of her class, and because of her high GPA, she got accepted into UCLA, which she started attending that fall. She wanted to do something with acting or at least theater in general, but because of her parents, she was officially a chemistry/biology dual major, on a pre-medicine track. She actually had very little interest in medicine, but because her father opted to teach instead of going to med school, he was pushing her to do what he never did. But instead of just switching majors, she internalized everything, and just went with the flow.
  
• Xzandr still did well, academically, but unlike before when she was at home and had to do nothing but study every day, out here there was nobody forcing Xzandr to be all-academic, and it showed. Her own dorm freshman year- she got a single room- was rarely used for anything more than a storage container and closet, since most of the time she spent the night in some dude's dorm, or on occasion the floor of a frat house. If a class did not take regular attendance, Xzandr skipped it most of the time, preferring to spend her time partying instead of in a classroom. The only times the partying slowed down were around midterm and final exams.
  
• Sophomore year was different... slightly. Xzandr was forced to get a double room, and therefore a roommate. She assumed it would just be another year, and the only difference was that somebody else would be occupying the room Xzandr herself rarely used. But the first night after moving in changed all that. The two got to know each other, in the biblical sense, and while she still screwed around- literally- and occasionally woke up somewhere else, or again, on the floor of a frat house, she actually spent a majority of her time in the dorm. But at the end of the year, she quickly moved out while her roommate was taking a final, and left without a note, an email, a phone call, or anything, just completely gone from the girl's life.
  
• The rest of college was uneventful, really. Junior and Senior years were roughly identical to Freshman year, except with different classes. Her bahavior was the same, and though she had a roommate both times, they were never as involved with Xzandr as her roommate from Sophomore year. She graduated with a 3.8 GPA, but instead of applying to med schools like she was supposed to, she hadn't even requested her letters of recommendation. She would be damned if she would do something she had no interest in just to please her parents.
  
• She moved back to Austin, though in her own apartment instead of gonig back home, getting a job at a hospital's blood bank- because while medicine in general was boring to her, blood was actually interesting- for income, but in her spare time, she would get involved in local theater, trying out for whatever productions they were putting on. Her first year, she played Joanna in Sweeney Todd. She got various roles for a couple years, and then last year was her favorite, as she played Mimi in Rent. That was when she realized she wanted to do something bigger, something that would become as big as one of the shows she'd done versions of.
  
• Moved back to LA a couple months ago. She took about a week at first to just move in and get acquainted to the area before she started trying to get involved with the more big-time acting. She will do whatever comes her way that's even marginally interesting, both tv and movies, because she wants to increase the number of opportunities available to her.

/ christmas came early for me

alias. BILLYMAYS
years of rp experience. 8+
other characters. None
how did you find us. RPGC
roleplay sample.

Ozzy’s fears were not entirely unfounded. Xzandr did have a tendency to deal poorly with situations that caused her great emotional pain- considering that the last occasion that happened, she nearly died of a Vicodin overdose. In a way, this was even worse. Sure, nobody had died- God knows that if Ozzy somehow, God forbid, died, Xzandr would probably have died soon thereafter- and they were still technically together, but that didn’t mean this hurt her any less. If it went on much longer… well, Xzandr couldn’t guarantee her own mental health. One would think that, after two weeks, the pain would be starting to dwindle down a bit, but it wasn’t. Every day that she didn’t get to talk to Ozzy just made her feel progressively worse, and there was only a very finite amount of times she could tell herself not to react too harshly for the baby’s sake. That was, perhaps, the only reason she wasn’t constantly drunk the last couple weeks, or strung out on cocaine, or relapsed on Vicodin again. So far, she was unable to bear the thought of doing anything harmful to the child. But she didn’t know how to deal with pain without alcohol or Vicodin. She just never had the tools to do it- every time something bothered her, she would pop pills or down a few drinks, and the absence of these things just compounded- or so she thought- her problems. Maybe it was time to learn the mental devices to deal with her problems? She simply wasn’t up to it. Not yet. It had taken until a couple days after Felix actually died for Xzandr’s spirit to be broken down enough for her to attempt to overdose. At two weeks since Ozzy walked away, it was a wonder she was still breathing. Part of her wanted to say “fuck it” and start knocking back tequila shots or popping Vicodin. But she couldn’t. Even Vicodin reminded her of Ozzy. He’d worked so hard to help her kick the habit, and was so understanding when she relapsed. It reminded her so much of him that it was no longer even a viable option for helping her get over him. But to overdose on it, and succeed, to get over Ozzy forever, would be analogous to an even more macabre Romeo and Juliet, some sort of poetic justice. Fun fact: Xzandr hated Shakespeare, and poetry, in every way, shape and form. But that was irrelevant right now.

In a way, this pain was even worse than when Felix died. At least that, Xzandr had finally come to realize after months of intensely thinking about it, she had no control over. The only thing in that entire situation that she’d had control over was her proximity to the door, and even that wasn’t an intentional action. She was simply trying to watch Ozzy walk down the hall, and happened to turn around at just the right time. Maybe if Ozzy had taken just a second or two more to turn the corner, she wouldn’t have been facing the door when it swung open too quickly. But she didn’t have any control over Ozzy’s pace. And she had no control over the speed at which the door opened, or the fact that the guy opening it was apparently incapable of opening a door normally. She had no control over Felix’s ability to fight off the random infection that killed him, or the fact that they weren’t able to detect it until it was too late. But now, she knew she’d had control over much more in this situation. She could have said something to the guard, like “hey, I’m in here, you can’t throw a dude in the same cell as a chick”, or, hell, assuming that didn’t work, she could have attacked Koen and then they would have definitely been put in different cells. She could have stayed on the bench, arms crossed, and bitched at Koen, or even completely ignored him. No matter what she did, it would have been a better alternative, because to fuck him was completely voluntary. And that was what hurt the most. Just knowing that she had intentionally done such a thing completely cracked Xzandr’s heart in half. Ozzy had never been anything but perfect with Xzandr. He wasn’t the most affectionate man out there, but that was fine for Xzandr, who wasn’t real big in that department either. But he cared about her, that much she knew, even if they weren’t constantly saying “I love you”. They didn’t need to. He had done so much for her. Who else would tolerate Xzandr’s constant bitchiness, foul mouth, and generally not caring attitude? Come on, Xzandr was a horrible person- she was so full of herself it wasn’t even funny, and she didn’t care if the things she said offended people or hurt their feelings. It took a special kind of person to tolerate that, didn’t it? Ozzy had seen her feeling her worst, like when she was detoxing and nothing was staying down. He’d forced her to stay hydrated, despite protests from Xzandr. Who else would ever care enough to do that for her? Xzandr had cheated on guys before. In fact, she’d never been entirely faithful to anyone, ever. As soon as she felt like she was getting close to someone, she’d go and fuck someone else, usually someone close, just to eliminate the possibility that they would forgive her. So Xzandr had a long history of infidelity and sabotaging relationships. It was how she kept herself from getting hurt. But the difference between now and all those times- besides the fact that Ozzy didn’t even know Koen, and Xzandr hadn’t fucked someone Ozzy cared about- was that before, there was never any remorse. She always told herself it had to be done, because they would eventually do the same thing to her. Before, she was never interested in talking things out and making them better. But now, it was all she wanted to do. She felt so incredibly guilty that she actually told Ozzy what she’d done, as opposed to letting him find out from someone else, or fucking Koen repeatedly and not even trying to cover it up- like she was apt to do before. Besides… what they had, they couldn’t just throw it away because of one mistake, could they? They were, in a few months’ time, going to have a child together. Hell, they already did- but as much as Xzandr hated to say it, Felix didn’t count, because the only people who had ever had to “take care of” him was the NICU staff. As much as Xzandr didn’t want to stay together just for the kid- which she would say was asinine, for a whole slew of reasons- she knew that she couldn’t work with him to take care of it, without actually being with him for the same reason, while they were fuck buddies, she suddenly stopped fucking him- it was too painful to be around him without being “together”. If they couldn’t work things out, Xzandr didn’t even know what to do.

The initial knocking woke Xzandr up. She just didn’t bother getting up. For one, she thought she already knew who it was- the guy who lived a couple doors down, who for some reason was convinced that Xzandr’s medical degree qualified her to work on his cat. He’d been knocking on her door for the last couple days, all around this time, asking if she would help his cat, and prescribe the necessary medications. ”I told you!” she’d told him every time, ”I’m a PEOPLE doctor, not an animal one!” Yesterday, she’d finally had enough of the man’s nonsense- most people would have been understanding, considering he was on the upper end of the age spectrum, and probably a taco short of a combo plate, mentally, but Xzandr was only annoyed by his inability to wrap his mind around the fact that human and cat medicine were drastically different, and even if Xzandr wanted to, she couldn’t really help him out as far as getting a prescription, since she didn’t even know a veterinarian- and told him that if he came asking for her help on his cat again, she would shave the stupid cat. She’d have thought that would get him to go away, and was partially tempted to get up and repeat her threat, but she was far too tired for that. Sighing, Xzandr decided to grant the man’s cat a stay of shaving, and the man himself a stay of execution, and closed her eyes, starting to drift off again. Then she heard her ringtone going off, and her eyes snapped open. Did the world hate her or something? It was hard to wrap her mind around the concept that the world didn’t stop simply because Xzandr didn’t have the mental willingness to deal with it. She chose to ignore the phone, even though it was on the bedside table right next to her glasses. She still wasn’t up to a telephone conversation, figuring it had to be either Rico or Rose, and they would try to feed her some bullshit about how it would be okay. It wasn’t going to be okay- not as long as she and Ozzy were in this “where do we go from here?” limbo. Some people, when they were depressed like this, might want to be around friend who would try to comfort them. Xzandr just wanted to be alone. She didn’t want to bring them down too. She breathed a sigh of relief when the phone stopped ringing, and closed her eyes again, drifting off. She was asleep by the time Ozzy obtained the hidden key- which she’d told him about, just in case she was ever not home, or he needed in there for whatever reason, or in case she lost her own set of keys (usually to being taken by a bartender) and was too smashed/otherwise impaired to pick the lock- and didn’t hear the door being unlocked or opened and then shut, and definitely didn’t hear Ozzy approaching or watching her sleep.

While still asleep, Xzandr reached out with one arm, toward where Ozzy would usually be laying- assuming she hadn’t already been cuddling up against him when he was there. Most of the time she’d fall asleep cuddled up against Ozzy, and stay like that all night. But sometimes she’d roll away in the middle of the night, and when she inevitably woke up at random because of the absence of his body heat, she would reach out, wrap both of her arms around one of his and fall asleep with her head on his bicep. For the first week or so of Ozzy’s absence, she still slept right in the middle, where she would have usually been sleeping in Ozzy’s presence, but lately, she’d finally re-learned how to sleep on one side, next to the night stand. But the reflex to grab his arm had yet to leave. When she didn’t encounter any flesh, she opened her eyes a little, staring at the empty space once again. She kept forgetting that he wasn’t there, and every time she remembered, it hurt a little more. She retracted her hand, using it to cover her mouth as she struggled against tears. She may never get used to this. It was weird. Before Ozzy, the only time she ever spent the night with the same person repeatedly and on a regular basis was the roommate sophomore year, when Xzandr spent more time in the same bed with her than in separate ones. Otherwise, she’d been more than okay with being alone in bed. But since she started regularly spending the night with Ozzy, or he with her, she hated sleeping alone, and in fact it was very difficult for her. After taking a deep, shaky breath, she managed to calm herself down, and let her hand fall. This was already hard, and was just going to get harder heh heh heh. With a light sigh, Xzandr turned over, finally spotting Ozzy. She just kind of stared at him at first, seriously wondering if she was having some sort of visual hallucination. God, this whole thing had her so messed up Xzandr was questioning her own mental health! She sat up- which was a little difficult for her, since her right side was still tender from surgery even after almost two months, and because bending was starting to get difficult, since the baby was growing and taking up more room. But she did end up sitting up, and swung her legs over the side of the bed so they were dangling, so she could face Ozzy, even though that hurt almost as much as him not being there at all. In the absence of the blanket covering her up, it was easy to see that, since her tank top was form-fitting, she did have a slight bump in the middle there. It was just slight, but definitely there. ”Oz,” she said, voice cracking. Usually, she would have made some snarky remark about how he was a total creeper for randomly showing up in the middle of the night, but now was not the time for that. See? Xzandr did have some concept of when was a bad time for a joke. She just chose to ignore it most of the time. ”W-what…” She couldn’t even finished the question. Her voice kept cracking, and she knew if she opened her mouth again she would just burst into tears.

[anna]

olivia wilde. onomnom.