BEGGIN' YOU FOR MERCY

[harper]

[style=font-family: times; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: lowercase; color: #989898; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;] DATE: 20TH JULY 2010 DREAM [/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]The drive seemed to go on forever and ever when in reality she’d only hopped into the BMW minutes ago. It reminded her of times when she was little and had to face something she was dreading, like going to the dentist. Each second ticked by and felt like eternity, only leaving more time for you to worry and play out gruesome scenarios in your mind. Of course you were never entirely prepared for what really laid ahead, no matter how much rehearsing you did in your mind. Harper curled her legs up beneath her body, kicking off her shoes in the process and ignoring the disapproving look her mother shot her. She felt like shit. There was no other word to describe it. Her body ached as if she’d just finished a marathon, her head pounded non stop and that bubbly spirit she was so used to seemed to have been sucked from her body. She’d be lying if she said she had no idea how she’d ended up in this position. Strung out and a huge disappointment. She’d acted before she thought, she’d indulged and got swept away with anything and everything. A girl who’d been credited for her passion and enthusiasm really had no control over it. Harper was too easy to give into temptation, too easy to follow the leader and chase some feeling that always seemed to slip from her grasp. Could you blame a twenty year old girl for wanting to have fun? Harper knew that she’d gone too far, she always did. The thing was she never had to face consequences so why would this have been any different? For a mother who had as much control in her daughters life as Harpers did, addiction was never an issue for her. As long as Harper got roles, got media attention and always looked beautiful she had no interest what she did in her down time. As she’d become older she’d realised she was property, not a daughter. Things had finally got her mothers attention though. Was it her diminishing frame? No. Her erratic behaviour? No. The fact she’d been caught drunk driving last weekend? No. The event that tipped the scales for her mother was day Harper lost a role in some lame teen movie. Something she didn’t even want to do but her mother was not happy. Rehab was her solution. Green eyes squeezed shut and she tried to pretend she was somewhere else. Nerves, a hangover and the constant bumping of the road made her stomach churn. It was all she could do not to throw up. That knot in her stomach seemed to expand and contract like a muscle and she tried to leave her mind blank. It was embarassing and totally unfair. Everyone she knew partied. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t legal, she was Harper fucking Blaire. Everyone drank, everyone dabbled in coke or a few pills. So what if she’d got a little carried away the last few weeks? People expected her to be bright and chirpy all the time. She’d been doing this since she was three and she was tired. Maybe this would be a good thing? Maybe she did need the rest? Her train of thought broke as her mother started babbling again. Movie scripts she was trying to get a hold of, how long she’d have to wait till she could give an interview. The usually Veronica Blaire spiel. Harper wanted to tell her to shut up but couldn’t muster the courage or the energy. Then the conversation turned and it was unusual. ”Don’t worry darling, I’ve made sure it’s the best clinic possible. Massages, facials and a sauna. It’ll just be like you’re at the spa” her mother reassured her. Harper finally let her head pop up from her corner of the car. She hadn’t heard her mom sound that soothing in a long time. Some may not have seen that as an extremely motherly or caring thing to say but they hadn’t been raised by a crazy stage mother. Her nerves seemed to melt away, even if it was just a bit. The emotional support of her mother was something she longed for and maybe this was what would help form that connection. She suddenly felt better, more comfortable and more loved. ”I know mom” she nodded with a small smile. This could be good for her. The time to relax, get her head sorted out so she could re-invent her career and make her parents proud. In just moments she’d gone from being totally morbid to having a little hope. Rehab was meant to teach you how to have control right? This could be the first step towards her taking total control of her life and it appeared her mother really did have her best interests at heart. She peeked out the window as the sign leading them towards the prestigious centre came into view. Even in the distance you could see how magnificent the building was. None of that scary institutional architecture, this was clearly for the wealthy. Those that needed to be surrounded by beauty. The gardens looked huge, as did the wings of the actual building and Harper had to admit, it peaked her interest. The tiny brunette took in a sharp breath as they headed up the drive, anxiety rearing it’s ugly head again. Remembering to breath she kept reminding herself over and over again that her parents would support her, her friends would support her. She could leave this place and come out a better person and actress. The message repeated itself in her head over and over again. It was about the only comfort she had so she clung to it. ”Here baby, lipgloss. You look terrible” her mother interjected, passing a tube of peach Lancome lip gloss her way. Harper screwed up her face. Okay, she did look terrible. Her shiny locks looked matted pulled up in her messy bun. Her face was free of make up, looking tired and her usually sparkling green eyes had lost their shine. It hardly mattered though. She was going to rehab, not a beauty pageant. ”Seriously mom? It’s not like anyone’s going to see me” she whined, playing with the tube. ”Just put it on Harper. Don’t be any more trouble than you already have been” Veronica snapped, making no effort to hide her frustration. Harper took the easy road, uncapped the gloss and smeared it on her lips. Now she just looked bad but with super shiny lips. Moving her arm, she tossed the tube back at her mother, finally making contact with her dad who offered her a loving, almost apologetic smile, ”You looked beautiful princess”. Atleast she had one parent who wasn’t missing the parenting gene. ”Thanks daddy” she returned the smile to the best of her ability. Just as the high, bronzed gates came into view and she prepared herself that this was it, something caught her eye. No, not something. Someone. A whole lot of someone’s actually. Her heart sank right down into her stomach. Great now she was going to have to throw up her heart too. Panic set in as she shot up from her stoop to get a better view. Heart racing, her eyes were wide and frantic, palms heating up. How could this happen? Photographers sat outside the gates. Not a barrage but atleast eight, all with their weasley little faces and jeans that didn’t fit them properly. She could see their cameras ready. Ready to humiliate her. This was meant to be a secret. She was going to sneak in then deal with the commotion when she was feeling stronger. ”Someone told them! Mom! Someone told them” she nearly burst into tears. She’d never felt more helpless in her life. Someone was definitely getting fired for this. How could someone in her staff betray her like that? Desperation was taking over. Thank god she had her mom there, if anyone could handle a crisis it was her. Her head swivelled back and forth as she triple checked that she was really seeing this. Eyes finally landing on her mother. Cool, calm, collected. ”Oh relax darling. No need to behead the help. I called those idiots at TMZ with a tip” her mother explained, clearly finding her daughters behaviour comical. ”You did what? What the fuck? Why?” the brunette exclaimed in horror, her mouth falling agape. Just when she thought her mom was putting her first. She was an idiot. This wasn’t about helping her, it was about helping her career. All those times her mom had rambled on about ‘any publicity being good publicity’ came flooding back. Once again she’d been sucked in. She was such a stupid little girl. Now she had to face not only rehab but a gaggle of pararazzi entirely alone. ”Honestly Harper you need to relax. They all know you’re doing drugs but the way you’re acting Perez will start blogging about your mental state too” Veronica rolled her eyes as she primped her hair. The car finally came to a halt and her entire body froze. There was no way she could get out of that car. But what was the alternative? Facing an angry mother was surprisingly worse than strangers looking for a photo. Her eyes turned to a glare as her hand rested on the door handle. She hated her. ”If it’s good enough for Lindsay, it’s good enough for you Harp” were the final words she heard before stepping out of the car, prepared to make the mad dash to reception. [/style]

TABLE BY CALIFORNIA DREAMING @ CAUTION 2.0