¡ I GET CRAZY !

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Keep It Organized
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Session 1: Bernadette's first session with Dr. Koren.
Undocumented: Bijou is in New York filming and must deal with being away from her psychologist.

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Session 1: Introduction
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“So Bernadette, can you tell me why you’re here today?”
“Would it kill you to call me Bijou?”
“Do you not like your name?” he asked, peering at her over the top of his spectacles.
Bernadette rolled her eyes. “Why do you have to analyze everything I say?”
“I am a psychologist.”

Bernadette smirked at the older man. Catty. She liked that. When she didn’t respond he glanced down at his notes then brought his eyes back up to her.

“This isn’t the first time you’ve been to therapy,” he said.
“You’re not the first Doctor Koren, but if you play your cards right you can be the last.”

Bernadette smiled suggestively and winked at him, then crossed her legs and ran a hand over her thigh. Koren cleared his throat.

“Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself? It can help us develop a more open and understanding relationship.”
“Ooh only the first day and already talking about a relationship? Rule number one, Dr. K, no relations with your clients... Or am I an exception?”
Koren shifted in his seat. “Well is there anything you would like to discuss?”
Bernadette shrugged. “Nah, not really.”
“Nothing at all?”
Bijou curled a strand of hair around her index finger. “Nope.”
Dr. Koren frowned. “So then why are you here Bernadette?”
“My appointments were every Wednesday at 4pm. It got weird not doing anything. I needed to pass the time.”
“So you’re here simply out of habit?” He looked disappointed.
“I had to leave the last shrink when I moved from New York. I needed a replacement.” She studied him. “Aw don’t feel bad. You’re special on the inside,” she said.
Koren shifted in his seat again. “But the therapy has been effective? If you decided to stay with it?” His voice was hopeful.
Bernadette shrugged again. “I suppose... It reminds me of my dad. Brings me back to childhood.”

Koren’s head snapped up and he anxiously peered at her over the rim of his glasses. “Your father?”
He could barely contain the excitement in his voice. This was possibly a revelation. Bernadette snorted.

“My father, the psychologist. Always subjecting me to his personal little therapy sessions and testing his theories on me. It got annoying. What six year old wants to sit in the house all day being asked this and being told that? I think that shit messes with your head eventually.”

Koren straightened in his seat and put his notes to the side.

“So your father was your first exposure to psychotherapy. And you think this has affected you through adulthood?”

Bernadette smirked and rose to her feet. “Well Dr. Koren, I think we may have a breakthrough. But it looks like our time is up. Better luck next week?”

The poor man looked flustered, but she grabbed her purse and sauntered out of the office. She was going to like this one. It would be the beginning of a beautiful new relationship.

[/ DANI]

Undocumented Consultation
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“I’m quitting.”
“Bernadette, you’ve barely been in New York for a month.”
“Well I can’t handle being here for another three.”
“This is a very good opportunity for you. Do you want to throw it away?”

Bernadette hesitated and chewed the inside of her lip. Being in New York had its pros and cons. Pros: shooting for a new TV series, being around her old friends, hanging around/getting spoiled by Jed. Cons: being in New York, having to be away from her therapist, being in New York, no trees or beach life, being in New York, the horrible odor, oh and of course being in New York. She could probably suck it up and deal with it, but could she really handle being away from her psychologist for three more months?

“Well I have no one to talk to,” she finally said.
“What about your friends?”
“That’s different. They have lives. You’re more like a drone.”

Dr. Koren fell silent on the other end and she could imagine him drawing his lips into that tight line he made when he was annoyed or offended.

“Besides you do that analytical thing all the time. You’re good at that.”

A small gust of air blew into the receiver as Koren released a sigh.

“What about our arrangement? Have you been talking to Dr. Balor?”

Bernadette sighed dramatically. Before she’d left for New York, Koren made an arrangement that would ensure Bernadette would still have the opportunity to keep her sessions going. For the duration of the four months she would be spending in the Big Apple, she would be seeing her old therapist, Dr. Balor. But even after only sharing six sessions with Koren, Bernadette had already grown attached to the man. Besides, Balor was annoying. And she didn’t know how to take a joke.

“Bernadette?” Dr. Koren repeated.
“Yes,” Bernadette snapped. “I’ve been seeing her.”
“And? Has it been going well?”
“I talk. She listens. It’s whatever,” she said sourly.
“Good, that's settled. Now then, if it means that much to you I can arrange for a visit to New Yor—”
“Goddamn, Koren, not everything revolves around you. This was supposed to be about me, remember? Do you even care about your patients? You know what, forget it. I don’t need to go to LA and I don’t need you coming up here just so you can charge me for it. You want me to talk to Balor, fine I’ll talk to the ugly bitch. Just stop being a selfish twat and get your head out of your ass.”

Before Dr. Koren could have a chance to respond, Bernadette ended the call and grabbed her bag to head to the gym. Time for another yoga session.