◄ under control
Jul 5, 2012 11:20:06 GMT -5
Post by jaiden on Jul 5, 2012 11:20:06 GMT -5
[style=background-color: #868787; font-family: 'Wire One', sans-serif; color: #fff; padding: 15px; font-size: 25px; border-bottom: solid 10px #000; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase;]i've held my heart under controlEven though Jaiden looked like her life was playing out smoothly there was something strange about the way she felt about certain things lately. It was hard to comprehend those particular feelings considering she hadn't felt them in a long time. It was one of excitement, yet at the same time there was a deep, pain in her chest and the pit of her stomach. Not physically, but very emotional. It was ironic, because the girl with one expression actually had a heart. She felt this real need to protect herself from almost everything - which was something she hadn't figured out until almost two years ago when she and Danny broke up for possibly the last time. Even though they were great now, she didn't really understand why she was still feeling pain and if it was even about Danny to begin with. But the excitement, she did understand.
Since coming home from Europe, she had gotten her head back into the movie she was anticipating to see come to life. Even though there was a short film version of it which she had made in her junior year, this was a feature film. This was going to be a much bigger scaled project, and it was actually going to be seen by people who weren't her friends, family, or college professors. In other words, this was a big deal because she was planning on submitting it to next year's Sundance Film Festival and hopefully pick up a distributor. It was an independent movie, considering the big production companies had rejected her pitch over the fear that the poetic-driven script wouldn't be understood by the masses of consumers. It sucked because they only cared about making money and not what was innovative and different. This was the reason why Jaiden eventually came to resent that side, as hypocritical as she was. Then again, she could only blame her ignorance when she signed up to play Bella in Twilight. As a naive eighteen year old and never having read the books, she hadn't realised that this going to blow out of proportion. All she saw was a great story and the director Catherine Hardwicke whom she knew was a filmmaker of independent films. Not blockbusters.
But all that aside, if she didn't have Twilight under her acting belt, the opportunity to turn her short film into a feature length wouldn't have come. First off, she wouldn't have ever met the people who she'd ask to work on it, and second, she wouldn't have had the money. Funny, because with a budget of under $1million, the film only took out a tiny slice of her gross worth as an actress in Hollywood. That's right, her manager had called her the other day and said Forbes magazine named her the highest-paid actress in Hollywood over the last year. It was mind-blowing knowing she had topped other famous - and better - actresses, but it just goes to show that teenagers are indeed a massive force. Anyway, now that she thought about it she wasn't paying much to have this movie made, but if Twilight never happened she wouldn't have been able to have this movie made at all. For that she was grateful, because a massive dream of hers was actually happening.
Buzz! Her alarm went off at 8:30am. The brunette kicked off her bed sheets and slowly rose out of bed. As she came to a sit still, she pressed the sleep button on her alarm before standing up and reaching her arms up to the ceiling for a quick stretch. As she ran a hand through her hair (a common habit of hers), she walked across the cream carpet of her bedroom to reach the window. She allowed the sunlight in by pulling back the curtains which exposed a wide view of the Los Angeles hills and the surrounding terrain. The view never got old. She then moved to her en-suite for a shower before finding herself in the kitchen digging through the fridge and food pantry for an English muffin, jam, and cream cheese. The need to stay quiet while she rummaged through cupboards was irrelevant considering Danny's bedroom was practically on the other side of their huge house. It was almost nine, but she knew he wouldn't be up yet. But with that in mind, she left him two extra English muffins and pulled out their huge jar of Nutella for when he'd come looking for breakfast.
Carrying a plate of her breakfast, she sat down with a leg tucked underneath her butt on the chair at their breakfast table which shared the same view as her bedroom (as well as many other rooms). She loved relishing in the alone and quiet time of morning before work officially began for the day... or before the roommate would wake up. She could let her mind wander and think about anything, and she did. She reflected on Europe, visiting her best friend Keani just last week in New York, seeing Zach at the MTV Movie Awards, and the fact that Snow White had recently come out in the States. She was living the life indeed. But that ugly feeling in the pit of her stomach came back again when she thought about them. Well rather, the night before when Danny's friend Drea had come over for dinner. The night as a whole was fun... for them. Jaiden couldn't help but feel like a third wheel. And bad. Especially since she knew they almost kissed not too long ago, she was desperate to go spend the night at her parents place. But like the friend she was, she stayed at Danny's request. She would've lied if she said it wasn't epically weird for her, because she spent most of the time trying not to puke at not only Danny's drooling, but also at her own sick and unexpected jealousy. God, she wanted to get out of there really bad.
All she could do was stay there until someone fell asleep and she quickly escaped to her own room mentally kicking herself. Even though she wanted to be happy for whoever Danny was with - or rather was going to be with, there was a tick that was always going to stick to her. It felt like a disease really, and it wasn't going to go away. At the sound of a door closing down the hall, Jaiden snapped out of her thoughts and focused back to the present. She looked down at the last remaining muffin on her plate before picking it up and taking a bite out of it. There was always something she loved about strawberry jam and cream cheese together, particularly on things like English muffins or better yet, bagels. It was pretty safe to say that a lot of people shared the same sentiments as her, but as she looked over at the kitchen bench and stared at the tub of Nutella her sentiments changed. With that, she stood from her seat and went back into the kitchen to grab the Nutella and a spoon. And as she came back to the breakfast table, she unscrewed the lid and scooped out a huge helping for herself not really caring if Danny was going to disapprove. Eh, he'd probably grab a spoon and do it himself.
Since coming home from Europe, she had gotten her head back into the movie she was anticipating to see come to life. Even though there was a short film version of it which she had made in her junior year, this was a feature film. This was going to be a much bigger scaled project, and it was actually going to be seen by people who weren't her friends, family, or college professors. In other words, this was a big deal because she was planning on submitting it to next year's Sundance Film Festival and hopefully pick up a distributor. It was an independent movie, considering the big production companies had rejected her pitch over the fear that the poetic-driven script wouldn't be understood by the masses of consumers. It sucked because they only cared about making money and not what was innovative and different. This was the reason why Jaiden eventually came to resent that side, as hypocritical as she was. Then again, she could only blame her ignorance when she signed up to play Bella in Twilight. As a naive eighteen year old and never having read the books, she hadn't realised that this going to blow out of proportion. All she saw was a great story and the director Catherine Hardwicke whom she knew was a filmmaker of independent films. Not blockbusters.
But all that aside, if she didn't have Twilight under her acting belt, the opportunity to turn her short film into a feature length wouldn't have come. First off, she wouldn't have ever met the people who she'd ask to work on it, and second, she wouldn't have had the money. Funny, because with a budget of under $1million, the film only took out a tiny slice of her gross worth as an actress in Hollywood. That's right, her manager had called her the other day and said Forbes magazine named her the highest-paid actress in Hollywood over the last year. It was mind-blowing knowing she had topped other famous - and better - actresses, but it just goes to show that teenagers are indeed a massive force. Anyway, now that she thought about it she wasn't paying much to have this movie made, but if Twilight never happened she wouldn't have been able to have this movie made at all. For that she was grateful, because a massive dream of hers was actually happening.
Buzz! Her alarm went off at 8:30am. The brunette kicked off her bed sheets and slowly rose out of bed. As she came to a sit still, she pressed the sleep button on her alarm before standing up and reaching her arms up to the ceiling for a quick stretch. As she ran a hand through her hair (a common habit of hers), she walked across the cream carpet of her bedroom to reach the window. She allowed the sunlight in by pulling back the curtains which exposed a wide view of the Los Angeles hills and the surrounding terrain. The view never got old. She then moved to her en-suite for a shower before finding herself in the kitchen digging through the fridge and food pantry for an English muffin, jam, and cream cheese. The need to stay quiet while she rummaged through cupboards was irrelevant considering Danny's bedroom was practically on the other side of their huge house. It was almost nine, but she knew he wouldn't be up yet. But with that in mind, she left him two extra English muffins and pulled out their huge jar of Nutella for when he'd come looking for breakfast.
Carrying a plate of her breakfast, she sat down with a leg tucked underneath her butt on the chair at their breakfast table which shared the same view as her bedroom (as well as many other rooms). She loved relishing in the alone and quiet time of morning before work officially began for the day... or before the roommate would wake up. She could let her mind wander and think about anything, and she did. She reflected on Europe, visiting her best friend Keani just last week in New York, seeing Zach at the MTV Movie Awards, and the fact that Snow White had recently come out in the States. She was living the life indeed. But that ugly feeling in the pit of her stomach came back again when she thought about them. Well rather, the night before when Danny's friend Drea had come over for dinner. The night as a whole was fun... for them. Jaiden couldn't help but feel like a third wheel. And bad. Especially since she knew they almost kissed not too long ago, she was desperate to go spend the night at her parents place. But like the friend she was, she stayed at Danny's request. She would've lied if she said it wasn't epically weird for her, because she spent most of the time trying not to puke at not only Danny's drooling, but also at her own sick and unexpected jealousy. God, she wanted to get out of there really bad.
All she could do was stay there until someone fell asleep and she quickly escaped to her own room mentally kicking herself. Even though she wanted to be happy for whoever Danny was with - or rather was going to be with, there was a tick that was always going to stick to her. It felt like a disease really, and it wasn't going to go away. At the sound of a door closing down the hall, Jaiden snapped out of her thoughts and focused back to the present. She looked down at the last remaining muffin on her plate before picking it up and taking a bite out of it. There was always something she loved about strawberry jam and cream cheese together, particularly on things like English muffins or better yet, bagels. It was pretty safe to say that a lot of people shared the same sentiments as her, but as she looked over at the kitchen bench and stared at the tub of Nutella her sentiments changed. With that, she stood from her seat and went back into the kitchen to grab the Nutella and a spoon. And as she came back to the breakfast table, she unscrewed the lid and scooped out a huge helping for herself not really caring if Danny was going to disapprove. Eh, he'd probably grab a spoon and do it himself.
[/style]
[style=background-color: #271b1c; font-family: 'Wire One', sans-serif; color: #fff; padding: 15px; font-size: 25px; border-bottom: solid 10px #000; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase;]i've got that summertime sadness