LIGHTNING IS FLASHING ,

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K E E P M E A L I V E

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Keani felt nervous. She didn't feel nervous or anxious very often when it came down to men, but Edward Barrett was an exceptional person. His career was absolutely incredible; Keani could barely believe that she was working with someone as dedicated and handsome as he. They had encountered each other before at meetings, but speaking to him personally was a different matter. On top of that, Keani was on the brink of running late, which frightened her. Rumor had it that Edward was one of the most serious people about his job, and she was praying that it didn't include punctuality. She wasn't used to being late, so the woman wrung her fingers as she stared out of the window of her taxi. She was going to be meeting with Edward Barrett. Was he a mean person? She knew that he was right for the role; that was a doubtless move on the council's part. He was going to be a great Walter Riley.

Keani didn't know where she had gotten the courage to give the man a call to get together. She wanted to speak to him about Walter Riley's character and the different parts that she thought he should stress in the character. Writing the script with Blake hadn't been difficult, but she knew that Blake knew that she wasn't going to be so kind to him. She knew that she was better than to shut him out, so she spoke to him in a civil manner. Even so, though, the problem for both of them was that they couldn't be the two people they had been at Princeton. Keani didn't know how to feel about having a co-writing and had no idea how they were going to behave on the set if Keani continued to give him a cold shoulder. Why bother when both of them hadn't wanted to share the project in the first place? They weren't working as an effective team outside of putting the script together, and Keani was beginning to wonder if she should be nicer. She was off and scheduling this meeting with Edward without Blake. Part of her felt like she was doing something wrong.

When the taxi finally arrived, she was right on time. It was an awkward time of the day when no one who ate on an American schedule was actually hungry. Keani knew that she was going to have coffee, and that was it. She brushed a hair out of her face and repinned it with a bobby pin. Her brown locks were pulled into a cascading ponytail. She cleared her throat as she approached the table where Edward sat. He looked like a man out of some sophisticated portrait, not someone who could sit amongst New Yorkers. "Good afternoon, Mr. Barrett," she smiled charmingly as she reached out to shake his hand formally.

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so i go insane like i always do

AND I CALL YOUR NAME, SHES A LOT LIKE YOU

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Edward Barrett was definitely one of the most serious people when it came to his career. He loved acting; it had saved him not just once or twice. He was so dedicated that many people found it actually scary. To be honest, he got frightened of himself and his endless lust for being in front of the camera, for acting, for being someone else, especially now. It wasn’t the brightest period of Edward’s life. He and Grace divorced around six months ago. Or more? He totally lost any count of time after that thing happened to him. He didn’t want to go out of his house, so he didn’t do it. He hadn’t seen most of his friends in like ages, and he wondered if he had any left after him disregarding their calls. The only things that were waking him up every single morning were the meetings with his children and his career. The second one had the power to even force him to get out of his own prison.

He had been pretty busy recently with all that promoting of the remake of Total Recall. He himself hadn’t watched the film, so he couldn’t say whether he was or not satisfied with his own work. Audience would say it all. But he didn’t want to waste his time. Secret Safe caught his attention by several reasons. First, he totally liked the plot. He bet that people would like it that much, too. Second, the filming was going to eat all his free time up; it was going to last four months, from August to December, which worked perfectly for him. And last, but not least, he was going to work with young people with many fresh ideas. He had never worked with any of them before, so it was going to be one absolutely new experience to all of them. Edward himself needed exactly that. So he jumped to the project as soon as he read the offer.

He was lost in reverie, when Keani Beldivere arrived at the café they had to meet. He was unconsciously drumming with fingers upon the polished black helmet without taking his big black eyes off his motorbike. He had parked it at a place where he could look after it all the time. He picked himself up after his new co-worker greeted him. “Good afternoon,” he replied as he reached out for her hand. “You must be… Beldivere. Keani Beldivere?” he decided to try his luck with names still shaking lightly her hand. It seemed so skinny, small and frail compared to his. He couldn’t deny the fact that in front of him was standing a young beautiful lady. Honestly, it was quite unexpected to him. Ed nodded at her offering her to sit down. He himself put the helmet on the chair next to him, and then took a short sip from his beer without even trying to repress the urge to look at her from the top of her head to her tiptoes. Nice shoes, he thought as he put out a package of cigarettes from his jeans. “I didn’t expect you to come alone,” he said honestly as he lit the end of the cigarette. He took in a deep breath from the nicotine waiting for her response.


THIS FTW POST WAS WRITTEN JUST FOR KEANI, WHO IS THE EVER LOVEABLE LAM <3. MY CHARRY IS WEARING THIS WHICH MAKES HIM SEXY HOT. THE POST ITSELF IS 550 WORDS LONG, SO THAT JUST MEANS I'M AWESOME. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT . . . [COLOR=d6503cI ALREADY LOVE THEM <3

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K E E P M E A L I V E

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Edward Barrett's handshake felt practiced and professional. Keani grinned and looked down for a moment. "Keani Beldivere is correct," she replied. Her tone was almost curt. She turned her head at his next comment. She was clearly puzzled by his statement. "Why wouldn't I come alone?" she asked honestly and tactlessly. She didn't understand what that could possibly mean. This wasn't a drug deal or a hostage crisis; of course she was coming alone. Who was supposed to be with her? Blake? She wasn't bringing him anywhere with her, not even to the highest cloud in heaven or the hottest stone in hell. She preferred ignoring her co-writer when she could. Spending those late nights on the script was enough Blake for her. In fact, that was too much Blake. It wasn't that working him was a hassle -- he had so many new ideas and an amazing sense of humor that he put into the script. Something about him bothered Keani, and she couldn't describe the sensation or put a finger on it. She preferred to avoid talking about it to anyone, including Jaiden and Danny. It didn't seem to be important.

She took her seat across from the famous Edward Barrett and ran her fingers over her thighs as if she had a skirt to smooth. It was a habit since she had been wearing a good few of those business skirts. He looked up and noticed that the guy was smoking. She coughed a bit, fanning the air around her face. Keani's secret enjoyment was purely olfactory when it came down to cigarettes. The smell was heavenly, musky, and manly, but she hated every other thing about cigarettes. They were cancer sticks and unnecessary addictions. Her only addictions were shoes, grasshopper cookies, and Chai tea. Maybe she had other addictions or obsessions, but none of them could destroy her body. She had a good way of moderating her habits. Maybe she was okay with smoking. She was okay with most past-times if they didn't interfere with one's personal life, if they remained mere hobbies instead of serious addictions. She began to wonder if this man in front of her had any inclination toward addictions. She didn't know if she would respect him if she figured out all of his weaknesses.

Keani skipped the small talk. She was here for business, which was probably why she appeared a bit rigid. Being nearly tardy had put her on edge, but she was trying to relax. She didn't know if she could be comfortable around someone who was practically a stranger. He was basically someone who she should be fawning over, not sitting down at a café with. If she were egotistical, she would have claimed that the man had looked her up and down during their initial greeting, but the woman took no note of it, instead turning to the waiter who had just approached. When he asked them for their orders, Keani requested hazelnut coffee. She wasn't hungry, and she didn't want to be eating while she was discussing this movie. She took her projects very seriously and put them above everything else in life -- other than her work, of course. The newspaper meant the world to her. She felt like she was on a mission to save print journalism from failing out.

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so i go insane like i always do

AND I CALL YOUR NAME, SHES A LOT LIKE YOU

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Of course, he knew who Keani Beldivere was. Something in her just reminded him that he had seen her before, but he wasn’t good at remembering faces. Remembering names was another story. He had heard of her. First of all, they lived in the same city. It was New York City and, to be honest, it wasn’t that big to people like her and Edward, especially when their careers were that closely connected. The man did not take his eyes off her while the smoke was caressing his lips on its way out of his mouth. He did not find it insolent or indecent, though it might seem exactly like that to some people. He seemed out of condition today. To be honest, he was out of condition for the past six months or even more, but he wasn’t the typical Edward Barrett with his well-known mood for business. He had to gather together as soon as possible. For example, now.

Keani replied to the question with another question, and hers surprised Edward for some reason. His eyebrows rose instinctively before he opened his mouth and answered, “What happened to your co-writer?” Another answer that actually was a question. It became like an endless circle that one of them had to stop. He didn’t wait for her response – it would probably be another question. “I thought you were supposed to work together,” he said as he gave her a small shrug. "You know, as a team?" Edward wasn’t into scriptwriting. Aside from his acting career he was a producer, not a writer, so it probably wasn’t right for him to mess into the two writers’ work. Actually, he wasn’t going to mess into their job, he was just asking a question which answer would give him some information about the relationship between Beldivere and Edison. And that Edward felt was right. He was going to become a part of the crew; actually, he already was a par of it, and his experience in such productions was telling him that everyone should be kept in touch with every one else’s process of working. Edward Barrett had too much bad experience in projects failed by some people’s ignorance and intangible ambitions. He himself was rather ambitious, too, but in contrast of those people he knew where the borderline was.

He was truly impressed by the young woman’s punctuality. He knew it was a business encounter, and that’s why he made his best to be here in time. He arrived fifteen minutes earlier just because, fortunately, the traffic at this time of the day was endurable compared to those damn rush hours. His new co-worker’s punctuality surprised him. Another thing that made him good impression was that she passed his so called test – after the waiter walked away she didn’t start rambling about the weather or something as casual as this topic was. Instead she remained silent and that meant she passed the test. This caused a light smile upon Edward’s face. He took a short sip from the beer he had ordered earlier and stared at the young woman. “Well, I suggest not to waste each other’s time,” he said, though it wasn’t like he had something better to do. Looking at her he was sure that she had the same opinion about this encounter. “When you, Miss Beldivere, called me, you mentioned something specific about Walter Railey’s character,” he said.


THIS FTW POST WAS WRITTEN JUST FOR KEANI, WHO IS THE EVER LOVEABLE LAM <3. MY CHARRY IS WEARING THIS WHICH MAKES HIM SEXY HOT. THE POST ITSELF IS 570 WORDS LONG, SO THAT JUST MEANS I'M AWESOME. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT . . . THIS POST SUCKS

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K E E P M E A L I V E

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Keani's business attitude was vastly different from her social one, and she believed that was the best way to go. She wasn't one for small talk in meetings. She would ask someone how his or her day was at the most and would leave it at that. The weather was to be discussed with people at the coffee shop, not co-workers. They had no time to waste. She led writers at New York Times without wasting a second with pleasantries and trying to make each other comfortable. Once they fell into step, she felt secure that they knew what they were doing. She believed in giving guidance to those who went looking for it and going down with a strong hand on those who didn't want to become better writers. She believed that people should always improve, should always be punctual, and should never let other bend their will. She was cautious to keep only the most original writers under her wing. Working for one of the most prestigious companies meant being tough.

Hearing about Blake brought forth an impulse for her to draw in a breath. It wasn't a gasp, but it seemed to signal an extremely alert and defensive Keani. She bit down, her jaw showing her stress, and looked him in the eye. "All of this information will be disclosed to him and I will do nothing against his will." She wanted to add that he shouldn't be asking her about how she was doing her job, but he didn't want to get off on the wrong foot. After all, this was Edward Barrett, not some peon journalist who had just started under her supervision. "Don't you worry, Mr. Barrett. I hide nothing from Blake." That wasn't completely true. She hid the fact that she was attracted to him in a way that she didn't remember being attracted to most people. She also hid the fact that a part of her hated him for being her partner. She gave him the cold shoulder at times, but she was civil with him. She didn't tell him that she was envious of him for being a skilled writer who could actually compete with her. In terms of business, though, she had no problem with being completely honest with the man.

Keani was surprised when the man got right to business. “Well, I suggest not to waste each other’s time. When you, Miss Beldivere, called me, you mentioned something specific about Walter Railey’s character,” he said. She looked up at him for a moment, then she folded her hands together in her lap. "Yes. I did," she nodded with conviction. She took a breath. "I hope you realize that your role is going to be a challenge. Of course, someone with your experience isn't concerned." She was making a valid assumption. He should be confident. He deserved to be. "I'm here to discuss any particular scenes that I think will be... delicate," she said. Was that putting it lightly? "You're going to be conflicted. You're going to be confused. You're going to be manipulated." She leaned in, pursing her lips before continuing. "Do you have any questions about the scenes you know of so far?" she asked him, leaning back and waiting for his answer. The server brought her the coffee and set it in front of her. "Thank you," she nodded quietly.

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so i go insane like i always do

AND I CALL YOUR NAME, SHES A LOT LIKE YOU

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Edward was glad to hear that the woman in front of him didn’t hide their meeting. He didn’t expect them to discuss or do something forbidden, so it was quite normal every that important person from the crew of the movie, especially a co-writer, to be informed about it. He came here to discuss Walter Riley and specific traits of his character, or at least that was what he had heard through the phone, when Keani called him. Actually Edward wasn’t that formal and didn’t have that business turn of mind all the time, but that was what he came here for – to talk about Secret Safe. If it was just a casual meeting above their cups of coffee, he probably wasn’t going to go out of his house. He wasn’t going to make even a step out of it. It sounded sad, depressing, and even pathetic, some people might say, but that was how it was. And this didn’t make him feel better.

He raised his eyebrows for a moment before nodding in agreement. Or it was approval? No, he couldn’t be that impudent. He had a great experience in filming with many different people with many different ideas, so he probably had the right to be a bit puffed up. But he wasn’t. He just liked doing his job and that was why he was here. He didn’t have many requirements like many of his colleagues did. And messing into the crew’s relationship wasn’t his job, though he liked it most when everything between the people on set was clear and the cards were put on the table. “Fine then,” he mumbled. He gently placed one of the ends of the cigarette between his lips. It was like a move trained so many times that he was doing it completely instinctively at this moment. He half-closed his eyes when he felt the smoke whirling around into his lungs. It was probably rude that he didn’t ask Keani whether it was alright for him to light up a cigarette and he knew that, but cigarettes helped him to think. He was sure.

Or at least he thought so, because it seemed like there wasn’t any effect from this cigarette. Or to be clearer, there was, but this effect wasn’t the wanted one. Instead of focusing on Keani’s words, his eyes focused on her wavy hair. It had the color of the hazelnut coffee she ordered and, damn it, he could bet that this was the softest hair a man could ever touch. And he wanted to touch it. What was going to happen if he just reached out and curled up a lock of this beautiful hair around his finger? "You're going to be conflicted. You're going to be confused. You're going to be manipulated,” the woman said. Ed opened his mouth in order to say something like “I already am,” but he stopped himself. Luckily he did. Saying such a thing was going to confuse not only him, but also her.

"Do you have any questions about the scenes you know of so far?" Her question stood without any answer for the next few moments. Edward couldn’t put himself and his own thoughts in order and that was making him nervous. He thanked Buddha when the waiter came. This gave him a few extra seconds. He brushed his hair with a hand as if he was rubbing his brain in order to make him work in the correct way. Ed looked back at her, but when he found his eyes wasn’t looking at where they were supposed to, he turned them back at his bottle of beer. Suddenly he felt his throat dry and the fizzy liquid seemed like the only salvation. “Well, actually I have a question,” he said after he put the bottle on the table again. “One of the things that..” Why on earth he found that hard to talk, to express himself, to even pronounce the words he wanted to pronounce? He quietly cleared his throat. “One of the things that caught my attention was that Riley has a rich sexual past,” he didn’t want to postpone this anymore. “I’m interested if there are any romantic scenes between my character and other characters? You know, I should know that.”


THIS FTW POST WAS WRITTEN JUST FOR KEANI, WHO IS THE EVER LOVEABLE LAM <3. MY CHARRY IS WEARING THIS WHICH MAKES HIM SEXY HOT. THE POST ITSELF IS 715 WORDS LONG, SO THAT JUST MEANS I'M AWESOME. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT . . . AH!

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K E E P M E A L I V E

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There were many rumors floating around about the famous Edward Barrett. Now that she was sitting in front of the man, she felt like he was slightly dangerous, like a time bomb who was just waiting for someone to push a button. She didn't know how to feel about him or why he was giving her that odd look. She pursed her lips, feeling as if she was making quite a habit of it, and tried to hold her gaze, but she found herself looking away from him like she feared the man. She didn't, but something about looking at him gave her anxiety. She didn't know if that was anxiety or raw attraction, but she didn't plan to find out.

Once his question was out, Keani tried, once again, to keep her eyes on him. She felt childish for wanting to look away or avoid the question, but she wasn't used to using such direct words for these scenes. She looked at him for a bit before answering his question. "Sure," she nodded. "There is... a rather intense romance between you and Fiona, who is being played by Carina Akerman." Keani couldn't help but shift without noticing her own body's movements. She crossed her legs and ran a hand along her thigh. "I'm afraid some scenes are rather racy," Keani chuckled. Of course, most people were unaware that Keani Beldivere, the writer of Closer, was actually very much a virgin. She had made the decision a long time ago to stay abstinent; she didn't want to make any mistakes before she chose to marry someone, so she was actually off-limits in the sexual category. Just talking about it made her blood race. She bit her lip and looked back at Mr. Barrett.

"I'm sure you're used to scenes like this," she smiled at him almost sheepishly. Men like Edward Barrett were probably used to themes like those; he was a mysterious and dark man, the kind of man who would star in sexual, steamy films. Keani tried not to think about it, taking a sip of her drink. She found herself looking at his combat boots that made him look like a forbidden creature, someone who didn't want to attach himself to anyone, especially a woman. Keani didn't understand why she was even thinking of that while she was in a business setting. Blue jeans at meetings were definitely a no-no, she decided. Something about them and this person's presence was making her feel inadequate in a way that she wasn't used to. Keani's vice was her pride. She had a way of keeping it private, but those who knew her or worked with her could see that she sacrificed almost nothing for pride. She was forgiving, but she had a hard time with apologies. She also believed in honor and integrity as the pinnacles of moral code.

She felt almost raunchy for leaping straight into the sex scene, but it was actually one of her largest concerns. It wasn't the sex scene that was important; is wasn't explicit and wasn't porn; the foreplay was all that mattered because that was where the dialogue was. The hushed words of two lovers could be the turning point for how people feel about a given character, so Edward and Carina were going to have to make it compelling, tragic, twisted, and filled with conviction. There was no way that the scene would have the right effect without the actor's full understanding of the dynamic between the two characters.

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so i go insane like i always do

AND I CALL YOUR NAME, SHES A LOT LIKE YOU

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Edward noticed the nervousness that went through Keani’s body, when he asked her about the sex scenes. She did not look like a slut. Exactly the opposite – she seemed like a well-bred young lady that did not talk to anybody about such things like sex. But Edward did not find himself guilty for making her feel that way, because he knew what he was asking – it was not something from her private life. It was about their jobs, about the filming of Secret Safe. And Edward was definitely not one of those types that liked boggling. He himself preferred to say, do and talk about things straight. It was a trait of his character that had often caused negative effects on him or his career, but he still couldn’t himself being so serious and direct over the years. "I'm afraid some scenes are rather racy," the woman said. When Edward saw her chuckling, it made him smile. Well, it was not a typical smile, but it was definitely not one of those smiles that he was giving to his business partners. “Racy?” He repeated, raising his eyebrows again.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to such scenes. Actually there was, if it could be called so, some kind of tendency in his filmography – he acted mostly in movies that included both action and romance, or a variety of these two. It was crazy, but it was what he felt he was better at. He did not like the role of Walter Riley because of the romantic scenes and just because he felt he could shoot them effortlessly. He liked this character, because he was secretly conflicted, he was secretly confused with what was happening around him. And he had to make his great choice – whether to protect Fiona or the President’s interests. It was a conflict that totally and undoubtedly caught Edward’s attention, and he found himself wanting the role more than anything. He had been thinking of taking some break after Total Recall and… yeah, and after the divorce, but something made him feel that he could get strait into this character’s mind and look at the problem from its essence.

Her next words totally surprised him. She was sure that he was used to scenes like this? What was that supposed to mean? He wasn’t always taking roles that had sex scenes into a film, so if she meant that, she was really wrong. But Keani seemed a smart woman that was familiar with his career and most of his roles, so she definitely didn’t have that in mind. “Oh,” he murmured looking down at the table with that expression upon his face that revealed his confusion. “Thank you,” he quickly added feeling like it was going to be too rude if he only said that ‘oh’. He felt it was a compliment, and – it was odd – he didn’t want to be rude. It was odd, because usually he didn’t care about how his behavior was going to be interpreted. Now he was feeling that he didn’t want to disappoint Keani and ruin her idea of him. And he didn’t know why. Of course, he could find easily, but he didn’t want to.

He took another quick and short sip of his beer as if he was trying to win some extra seconds again. His brain was playing games on him, and it wasn’t the nicest of the feelings in the world. Edward liked when he controlled the situation. This time he felt he was losing control and that was freaking him out. “You…” He started with a croaking voice. He cleared his throat again – probably for Nth time at this damn meeting. “You mentioned Carina Akerman.” He reminded her and forced himself to keep his eyes on Keani for longer than he felt he could. “I need to meet her before we start filming,”[ he said. He had a practice – first playing ‘on a table’ the scenes he had to shoot with another actor, and just then actually shooting them. He liked to talk, to discuss the problem and the situation in every scene before its actual filming. Those who had worked with him knew that he liked to keep in touch with every single person of the crew – from actors, directors and writers to makeup and hair artists, even stunts. “You know, I prefer discussing a problem before walking out on the stage,” he tried to explain her. Edward hoped that Keani could understand him, so they could work together perfectly. Because he really wished the success of this project.


THIS FTW POST WAS WRITTEN JUST FOR KEANI, WHO IS THE EVER LOVEABLE LAM <3. MY CHARRY IS WEARING THIS WHICH MAKES HIM SEXY HOT. THE POST ITSELF IS 764 WORDS LONG, SO THAT JUST MEANS I'M AWESOME. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT . . . I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LATENESS <3

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Keani felt like she was working with the right kind of person. Career-wise, the man was grounded and hard-working. Even if he was sitting there with a cigarette and a beer at an inappropriate time of the day, she wasn't going to judge him. Instead, she decided to treat him as a complete equal. She did admire him in many ways. Keani enjoyed anyone who could show her his or her clear passion, and Edward obviously cared deeply for acting. He was obviously being very mature about their interesting topic of conversation. Keani felt like she was being squirmy when she really didn't want to emote that. She wanted to show him that she was refined and able to discuss such matters in strict business terms, but it was hard. Writing had a direct connection to Keani, so her emotions and adrenaline were attached to the exact scene they were speaking about.

Each scene in the movie was etched into Keani's mind. Of course, modifications had to be made. She and Blake had to accommodate to each other's needs. As upset as she was with the prospect of working with a co-worker, she had to admit that Blake had a great deal of amazing ideas. "You have a scene with Carina," Keani explained, trying to keep her train of thought focused now that Blake was in her mind, "And... Well, it's a sex scene," she said rather bluntly. "The scene is not important because of the sex, Mr. Barrett. In fact, the most important component of the situation is the inner conflict that Walter Riley discovers within himself. I think it's going to be a challenge. I won't lie about that. I trust you to play the part spotlessly, but I want to work out the kinks and make sure that there is no confusion." She was speaking like a robot, only focusing on the facts.

Keani hadn't realized that her comment about Edward's level of experience was a bit off-center within their professional conversation. She blushed a bit, realizing that he could have easily misinterpreted. "I don't think you have a bad reputation, sir," she said, laughing. She wasn't nervous or sheepish. She was simply explaining herself. "I just don't think you would have a problem with a scene like this. You were chosen for a reason, Mr. Barrett. You have extensive experience in acting. We also believe that your on-screen chemistry with Carina is going to be explosive." Keani had a strong belief that Edward and Carina were going to do swimmingly as a couple. The two were intense and experienced. She knew that they were going to get along. If not, she knew that the acting would be even more intense. Either way, she felt satisfied with their expertise and dedication. She was excited.

"You will certainly be meeting her." Keani nodded at him, sipping her coffee again. "I am aware that you like creating tight bonds with many of your co-workers. I think that's spectacular. You're what we need in this project." It was the truth. Seeing that Edward wanted to get to know those who were a part of something greater was inspirational to Keani. It gave her faith in him. "It's imperative that you speak with Blake as well," she told him. "I believe we have different angles that can be used. They don't need to be traded off; the angles typically work well together." Blake and Keani were a great team. Even she couldn't deny that. "I think it's best that you see him or contact him in private. Sometimes we can cause some dissonance. It's unnecessary." She and Blake were bound to disagree on some parts, but it didn't mean that actors couldn't speak to both. She and Blake were just trying to settle in.

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so i go insane like i always do

AND I CALL YOUR NAME, SHES A LOT LIKE YOU

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Edward was glad to see that such a young person as Keani had such a strong passion about creating masterpieces. He was not that old, but he could honestly say that he hadn’t met such a dedicated person for a very long time during his career. Nowadays most of the creators of movies were doing their job just for money, and – the most terrifying – they weren’t doing it well. During the years Edward built the skill to simply glance at a production and tell if it was made with love and passion or just for the fame it could bring to its creators. Now, for this situation, a simple glance at Secret Safe and another at Keani Beldivere, and he could honestly say that this production was going to be really successful mostly because of the fact that it was going to be made with full dedication. Dedication given from every single person on set – Edward, Carina, the other actors, the art director, even the stunts. And Keani. Of course.

Edward was lost into his owns thoughts, and he wasn’t listening to what Keani was talking to him about. It wasn’t nice actually, and he knew he could find a way to stop it as soon as possible, but dammit, it was so hard not to think of.. of everything that was happening into his life. Actually there was nothing happening into his personal life these… months? All he was doing after the divorce was working. At first he thought that it was going to help him; no, he was begging to help him, but it didn’t. He was still feeling like a tomato smashed on hot asphalt. Actually, he was feeling even worse. He was broken. He was empty. He was desperate and… He was lonely. Even though he was visiting Grace’s home and their children, he knew what he wanted. And he was lonely.

“Yeah,” he murmured. His eyes ware looking at an unknown spot placed in the empty space between him and Keani. Not only that he wasn’t listening to her anymore, but he wasn’t even looking at her. He didn’t know how rude it might seem to her. “Thank you.” He himself didn’t know why he said it, but he knew he had to. He wanted to speak to Keani more about the movie, about the other scenes, especially those with the president; he wanted to talk to her about Blake and the locations… God, he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. And it was driving him crazy. He had never felt like this before. He had never let his personal problems to affect his career. And he was scared. He was terrified. He finally looked at Keani. Something into his chest started acting inappropriate for a business meeting – heated up, started running like crazy… Shit, what was going on?

He got to get away from here. Now. As soon as he could without being too suspicious. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Keani.” He couldn’t hear his own voice, his ears were buzzing, so he couldn’t realize that he was talking to the lady by her first name. He should correct himself. Instead he put the cigarette into the аsh-tray. He picked up the bottle of beer and took a really long sip. “I have to go. I’ll call you, when I--“ He was interrupted by his own beer. He put it on the table, but his hand was shaking so hard that the bottle just tumbled down and the liquid spattered all over Keani’s pretty pink top. It was all dingy. “Fuck!” It just jumped out of Ed’s mouth as he just jumped on his feet. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” He was looking at Keani’s top without knowing what to do. “I’m really, really sorry! I don’t know what… I…” He took a look around the other tables to see if there were any napkins, but he could see. He waved at the waiter. The waiter could help him. Definitely. The man could him if he himself couldn’t. Fuck!


THIS FTW POST WAS WRITTEN JUST FOR KEANI, WHO IS THE EVER LOVEABLE LAM <3. MY CHARRY IS WEARING THIS WHICH MAKES HIM SEXY HOT. THE POST ITSELF IS 676 WORDS LONG, SO THAT JUST MEANS I'M AWESOME. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT . . . HE'S NEVER THAT CLUMSY XD

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In the middle of what she was saying about the movie, she noticed Edward's expression change. It was subtle, but it was enough to cause some alarm. She looked at him softly, trying to decide whether or not she was to feel compassion or to get upset that he wasn't paying attention. Was he paying attention? She leaned to the side a bit, trying to determine how well her words were translating into his thoughts. Either he was deep in thought about what she was saying or he was blatantly ignoring her, which was worse than simply being rude. When it came down to pet peeves, Keani had very few. She could probably count them on her fingers. She wasn't one to hold grudges, either, but when it came down to being ignored, she wanted to flare up and say something. She didn't want to think Edward was ignoring her, but that blank stare was beginning to irk her. She bit her lip.

Suddenly, the man spoke, stopping Keani right after she finished her sentence. She looked back at him, a bit surprised. He had been listening? "Um, you're welcome," she retaliated with stumbling words and a puzzled expression. Edward was beginning to become quite an enigma. Keani loved writing mysteries, but she actually didn't like sitting and guessing about people in her life. One of the reasons why Blake frustrated her so much was because she just couldn't read the man's mind. It was impossible to tell what he thought of her or why he gave her that inscrutable look every once in a blue moon. When it came down to solving people, Keani Beldivere lacked all skill. She usually gave up when people behaved this way, which was why her shoulders so obviously slumped as she sat in front of this Edward man. While she was putting down her big guns to see his explanation, he was becoming frantic, and Keani was beginning to feel the current of panic that was radiating from Edward. "Edward..." It came at as a question, but she was reaching for his hand to calm him. It was an instinct of hers, but she was too late; he was picking up the beer. He was mumbling some words that she was trying to hone in on.

"Why are you saying goodbye?" she asked as he began making his exit. She was completely and utterly confused, but she was trying not to act like some lost puppy. She didn't want him to leave. She was beginning to think that the two were going to hit it off, but now she was rethinking all of it. This grown man was acting like a stuttering mess when they were supposed to be discussing business. He had no response to the details that she had just revealed to him about Secret Safe? He wasn't even going to stay and chat like a good business partner? What was he doing? Had she done something to offend him? She frowned at him as he took that long sip of beer. It was agonizing to watch, not to mention offensive. She suddenly felt a bit embarrassed that she was in public with such a repulsive man. Drinking at this time of the day? Forget not judging! Her eyebrows made a crease in her distress. "Mr. Barrett," she started with authority in her voice. Before she could even continue, she felt a cold liquid splashing down her breasts.

Keani's first instinct was to get out of her seat, which she chose to do. She was no longer angry, only caught off guard. She jumped when he said the f-word, unable to help herself. He was clearly out of his clearest state of mind. Something about his movements was startlingly unstable. She reached out to touch him again, but he was moving so much. "Hey... Edward... Hey..." He wasn't listening, only flailing and saying words that he didn't need to say. "Edward," she repeated, softer this time. She finally caught his arm. The shirt was clinging to her, which made her feel better than if it were sinking below her cleavage line. "It's alright," she reassured him as the waiter approached. The man didn't look distressed until he saw the spill. "At least it's not red wine," she assured, still holding Edward by the forearm. "Um, just relax," she told him as the waiter came back with an absorbent napkin for her. She finally let go of Edward to dab her chest. When the man finally disappeared again, she looked at Edward. "What was that about, Edward?" she asked in a hushed voice. It was full of compassion instead of placid judgment.

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so i go insane like i always do

AND I CALL YOUR NAME, SHES A LOT LIKE YOU

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It was so good to stand there and to listen to her angelic voice; was trying her best to calm him down and he was feeling like an appreciated and wanted man. Again. It was like he didn’t feel this way for ages, maybe even decades. It was sad. And he knew it. That was why he did not want to talk about it, not to mention showing it in front of many people. Edward did not want to be the weak one, the lost one into his co-workers’ eyes. It was about pride. He wanted to stay the self-controlled, independent and strong man he was before the divorce into other people’s memories. It was hard to act like nothing happened though; it was too hard to act like the complete destruction of his world was not real. Because even actors needed their breaks.

Edward’s consciousness was so blurred that the first moment Keani touched his hand he did not even notice it. Just a few pretty long moments later he felt her warm and soft fingers on his forearm, so he instinctively looked down at them. It took him another few seconds to realize what was going on, even if he was not fully getting it. What he was supposed to say? How he was going to explain to her his own behavior, when he himself did not know what was going on; or it was just too difficult to say it out loud? And when her question came, Edward still did not know the answer to his own questions. He took a deep look into Keani’s eyes, trying to tell her without words, only with his own black eyes, that he was one of the most confused men on this planet. He wanted to… He had to share with somebody (or with Keani indeed?) the chaotic thoughts that had the power to make his head explore. He needed to be understood, he needed to be saved. He knew that, but he also knew that Keani probably would not be the person to do it. She was not the one to blame, and Edward could not do that to her.

Suddenly, the shade of pain that was creeping into his eyes for the past few moments just slipped away. Edward put out of the back pocket of his jeans twenty dollars and put them on the table. Without waiting for anything or anybody else, he grabbed Keani’s hand and pulled her after himself. “Let’s get out of here,” he murmured as he was walking to the entrance. Slowly taking a deep breath from the air on the street, Edward closed his eyes, trying to forget what happened. Or he was not trying to forget? Maybe he was trying to put everything in order? “I…” He cleared his throat, and then looked at the young woman, his eyes filled with confidence, regret and pain… at the same time. It was crazy. “I’m really sorry for what happened inside. I don’t know what I was thinking…” He pressed his eyes with his fingers before continuing talking to her. “It wasn’t really professional of me to…”

He sighed. It was so hard to find the words. His irish accent was making everything bad... or charming to her? He took a look at his pink top, still wet where the beer was spilled. For a brief moment a pure anger could be seen into Edward Barrett’s eyes. What he did? “Come on, I’ll drive you to your place,” he said after he returned the control over his own nerves. He gave her the only polished black helmet he had (he didn’t expect company, he was always driving by himself). “You cannot call a taxi…” He didn’t continue, but he nodded at her top. He didn’t say it, but in his opinion a lady should not do that. And he did not want Keani to do it.



THIS FTW POST WAS WRITTEN JUST FOR KEANI, WHO IS THE EVER LOVEABLE LAM <3. MY CHARRY IS WEARING THIS WHICH MAKES HIM SEXY HOT. THE POST ITSELF IS 662 WORDS LONG, SO THAT JUST MEANS I'M AWESOME. OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT . . . MAYBE WE SHOULD CLOSE THIS AND START ANOTHER SOON? PM ME, LOVE!

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Keani was one to go to for problems, but Edward's behavior wasn't like one of an emotionally struggling superstar. He was behaving like a drunken, bumbling blob. He had no idea how to conduct a professional setting; that much was evident. As much as Keani had respected the man at the beginning of their encounter, it seemed like she had never liked a thing about him. Drinking at this time of the day? She wanted to hide her face. She wanted to be kind, but the instinct didn't remain until he spilled the drink. Keani knew about people. When they had breakdowns, certain traits were common across a spectrum. She knew what freak-outs were like because she had anxiety issues of her own. In fact, she took medication just so she didn't tremble and cry. It started with her mother's death and went on from there. A Princeton graduate and stresses journalist, she had become accustomed to panic attacks. She knew that Edward was going through one as the beer spilled down her top.

After trying to console him, she was pulled forward with a strong hand. At first, she had the instinct to wrench herself free of his grasp, but she thought better of it. He was trying to fix his wrong, right? If he was actually going to do something dangerous, Keani knew how to defend herself. Besides, it was in the day... in a crowded place. He wasn't going to hurt her. She knew that he was better than that. Did she, though? She knew his kind-hearted cousin and of his career, but she didn't know enough to assume. Maybe it was better that way, though, because she didn't want to sit around and judge him. He was wearing clothes a thug would wear maybe, but she could see that he had intense respect for her, though she was ten years his junior. "Where are you going?" Keani asked calmly. The door was opened for them as the two made their exit. “I’m really sorry for what happened inside. I don’t know what I was thinking…” Keani blinked back, clueless.

"Don't," she replied, putting a hand up for him to stop. She didn't want to hear rambles. "You've obviously had a rough day," she nodded. Keani could understand panic attacks and insanely stressful times because she was constantly experiencing them. She wanted Edward to know that she wasn't upset about a small kink in their first encounter. She grinned at the Irish man sincerely. "It was a bit inconvenient, but I'll live." She glanced down at the top again. She was, admittedly, just a bit self-conscious about it. It drew attention to what little chest she had and she didn't want anyone to look to closely at it. "Beer doesn't like me. I suppose it makes sense, considering I don't like it much either." She tried to joke away the melancholy that seemed to be creeping up on the man. She didn't want him to feel guilty when the whole matter was to be forgotten in a day.

When Edward offered her a ride, she was just a bit apprehensive. "Oh," she said simply, taking the helmet into her smaller hands. This was unexpected. “You cannot call a taxi…” Keani glanced at the male. He was playing a game of control. She didn't understand Edward at the least, but it made sense that he stayed indoors often. He was usually involved with his work. Otherwise, it seemed like he enjoyed being by himself more to avoid flaws like these. Something was unfathomably attractive about that, though, and it truly startled her. He was an older man and she was undeniably drawn to his dark personality. She felt like a cliché as she put the helmet onto her head. The hair she put down fell in a cascade over her shoulders. She couldn't remember the last time she had been on a motorcycle with her father, but the adrenaline rushed toward her like it once had.

"As long as you're careful," she told him. She wasn't trusting him. She didn't want to trust him. She just wanted this meeting to end safely or not end at all, not just yet.

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