DISCONNECT

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #a0a0a0 solid 30px; ] now i'm standing on the verge WORDS 891 OUTFIT CLICK TAGGED NEG/RAY her head was still spinning. it had been a few days since she'd found out that richard, who had somehow managed to booze her into his bed, was andrea's father. she hadn't gone out much since, just stayed in. she didn't want to talk to anyone. she didn't want to see anyone. she just wanted to not think about it. alcohol was good to her like that, she didn't have to think about anything she didn't want to. she could just drink and block it out. it was a system that worked for her. not many people appreciated it; in fact, plenty of people had been trying to get her to quit. it wasn't good for her. did they think that she didn't know that? she knew that it was going to kill her, eventually. but she was going to die anyways, so why not? but then there was ray. they hadn't really been all that close before, but schuyler liked to think that he was good for her. he didn't judge her, and she didn't judge him. they just let each other do whatever they needed to do, no questions asked. that's why she'd asked him to come over later today. he could handle seeing her like... this. and he wouldn't try and change her. she still had about an hour or so before he came over. just as she got out of bed and pulled on some clothes, her phone buzzed. she glanced at the screen, which read "DO NOT ANSWER." her mother. with a sigh, she picked the device up and hit answer. to ignore the call would just lead to more calls, which was to be avoided at all costs. conversations with her mother were things that didn't happen often, but were rarely pleasant, so getting it over with was honestly her best option. she knew that there was nothing she wanted to hear on the other end of the line, but what could she do? "hi, mother..." about thirty minutes later, her outlook on life was no better than it had been before talking to her mother. if anything, it was worse. she'd explained that yes, she did have a job, and yes, she was making money, but none of that had mattered. her mom had seen the tabloids, and had an earful to say. the words and the names bounced around inside sky's head, and she tossed the phone onto the couch before grabbing the bottle of vodka resting on a nearby side table. she walked over to the stereo and turned it on, blasting music at a decibel that would surely have her neighbors file a complaint against her. it wouldn't be the first time. dancing her way into the kitchen, she took a few more swigs before placing a cookie sheet in the oven and turning it on, as hot as it would go. burning herself was a habit she'd gotten into during her later teen years. lately, there hadn't been an instance where she'd felt like she'd had to do this to herself. but right now, it was the only way she knew she could her head out of the clouds, get those nasty thoughts from her mind. her bare feet danced around the cool tile of the kitchen as she waited. there was nothing better to do, she liked this song, and maybe she was a little tipsy. after about ten minutes, the oven was no longer on preheat, and that meant the pan was ready. setting the bottle of skyy down, she got out two potholders and carefully took the cookie sheet out. sitting down, she pulled her skirt up a little, staring at her thighs. the scars weren't that bad; a barely noticeable discoloration, if anything. she could play it off as a birth mark, if she wanted to. but no one had ever asked her about them. hopefully, no one ever would. taking a deep breath, she lowered the pan onto her legs and pressed. she let out a hiss as the metal burnt her skin, but she could feel it working, feel the bad thoughts practically leak out of her head. but just as she got to pushing the tray against her legs, she heard the door open. turning, her eyes widened as she stared right at ray. he was early. pulling the cookie sheet off of her legs, she threw it on the stove, turning the oven off and dropping the pot holders. he wasn't supposed to know she did that. no one knew, and that was the way she liked it. she smoothed her skirt, untucked and retucked her tank top, anything to avoid looking at him. she was ashamed. finally, she looked up, biting her bottom lip. she didn't know what to say to him. "uh... hey, ray?" she winced at the unintentional rhyme and looked away. what could you say to someone after they saw that? she looked back at the cookie sheet, then at her feet. "you're early." she sighed and walked to the window, hugging her arms close to herself. she was worried she would lose him because of this. she needed him. as a friend. she needed him to be there for her. he was one of the few people she felt she could actually talk to without being judged. of maybe drawing the line

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Ray was walking to Sky’s apartment thinking of all the things he wanted to share with her. They had not seen each other for pretty long time which he truly hated. He hated to lose contact with people he liked to spent time with, and he liked the time he and Sky had, even if it was not much. Especially during the last few weeks, probably even months, when he started with the filming of Dog Days and then continuing with the filming of The Impossible Planet – as an actor in the first and a writer in the second; it was not as if he was the man with plenty of free time. It was not easy for him to get used to his new schedule, but he had to. Plus, soon he started to like his new way of living – he was still travelling, but he was working with amazingly talented people at the same time. Oh, and he had a girlfriend. What else a man would want from life, right?

Friends. Raynold Graves was the type that would never leave his friends for any reason. He was feeling really comfortable while being around Schuyler, so when he came back to LA for a few days, the first thing he did was to call her. He had to meet a photographer for a new journal for National Geographic, but the man called him at the last minute to tell him that he was not able to come in time. They were going to meet tomorrow, so Ray had more than an hour before he had to meeting Sky, but he could not wait to see her anymore. He knocked a few times at her front door, but the music was so loud that she probably just could not hear him, so he simply decided to come into her apartment. He highly doubted that he would see what he actually saw – Schuyler was… What the hell was she doing?

It hurt him to see her like that. Ray wasn’t the greatest psychologist, but he knew that people hurt themselves when there was something wrong, something bad happening to them. And he didn’t want one of his best friends to be hurt, not to mention to be hurting herself. But he was speechless. What drove him insane was her casual greeting. Was she crazy? Was she that drunk? Ray clenched his jaw. He looked at the oven, then glanced at the cookie sheet, and then slowly returned his eyes on Sky. He took in a deep breath, stepping into the kitchen. The music was loud, but he screamed so loudly that it sounded as if it was silent into the whole building. “What the fuck?” He stepped closer to the young girl. Suddenly he reached out for her hand, and then grasped it, turning Schuyler to him; face to face. “What are you thinking you’re doing?”

Ray was holding her so tightly that it was probably hurting her, but he could not think of that right now, because right now there was nothing else into his mind except the picture he saw after he opened the door. At the first moment he wished he did not enter the flat at all, but the next he thought what was going to happen if he had not appeared that suddenly, and… What was going on with her? He looked away, still holding her hand into his. “Fuck, Sky!” He screamed out loud. He just had to. If he had not, he was going to explode.

notes: he's angry, because he's overpotective, you know. <3

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 340px; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding: 30px; border: #a0a0a0 solid 30px; ] now i'm standing on the verge WORDS 891 OUTFIT CLICK TAGGED NEG/RAY schuyler didn't know what to say to him. flinching as he yelled, she made a face and averted her eyes. was there even something that was really appropriate to say in a situation like this? 'sorry you caught me burning myself' ? she was shocked, she was embarrassed, and she was drunk. she sighed as he yelled, barely wincing at the pressure on her hand, even though it hurt. not as bad as her thighs did, at that moment, but that was her own fault. she wished he wouldn't be so loud, though. her neighbors were going to worry, or worse, yell at her later for being so loud. even though it wasn't her. and her music had been pretty loud, too, before he'd started yelling. but it didn't sound loud compared to his voice. no one had ever really yelled at her; people had been mad at her before, especially her mother. but typically the only people who were ever mad at her had been the passive aggressive sort, or the kind to silently rage at her. but then, none of them had ever witnessed what ray had just witnessed. sky felt bad for putting him through it, to be honest. she didn't like to burden other people with her problems, and this was the biggest problem that she could possibly have dropped on him. she flinched again as he swore, leaning back in a weak attempt to pull her hand away from his. he was hurting her, but she wasn't about to say anything. she didn't want to say anything. she didn't know what to say. she turned her eyes towards him, but still didn't say anything, instead shaking her head. she felt like crying. no one should have known that she burned herself. that was her secret, and it was something she could handle on her own. just like she always had. but now he was in this, and he was going to be concerned, and she wasn't sure if she could handle that. lord only knows how he felt. obviously, he was upset, but what was beneath that? what if he wanted to help her? she didn't need help. with a sudden surge of confidence, she pulled hard, ripping her hand away from him. grabbing the bottle of vodka, she turned away from him, stepping out of reach. "sorry. i guess you can leave now." she shrugged and took a swig of the alcohol, letting it burn down her throat and into her stomach. she could get through this. she would go to the liquor store and reunite with her old friends johnny and jack and jim, and with their help, she could numb out whatever feelings she was going to get from this awkward moment in her life. if she was lucky, she wouldn't remember it at all. taking another drink, she walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, making sure to lock it. he was not going to make her feel guilty. he was not. he was not. maybe if she said it enough, it would become true. taking yet another drink, she sniffed, willing herself not to cry. that was a weak action and she wouldn't have it. hopefully he couldn't hear over the sound of the stereo. schuyler didn't want ray to hear her crying, not after what he'd just witnessed. trying to regulate her breathing, she grabbed a washcloth from beneath the sink, running cool water over it and walking back towards the door. did she dare go out? no. taking a seat on the cool tile, she placed the washcloth on her red thighs, leaning her back against the door as she did so. sky listened carefully to what he was doing just through the wood. it was killing her not to be able to talk to him about this, but she couldn't explain any of it. he was better off uninvolved. stretching her arm out, she locked her fingers around the bottle and took another drink. it was going to be a long day. of maybe drawing the line

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