CONFESSIONS BY CHOICE / RAE

[jere]

His night had been eventful, not as eventful as the previous one, but enough so that it kept him on his toes. Between joking around with Desiree and trying to crack Harmony, somehow the conversation had shifted to a conversation Bianca had with Israel. He knew nothing was serious between the two of them, but, he felt the need to defend himself, and whatever was building between the two of them. Camden enjoyed his time with Rae, the sex was good, and he felt relaxed around her.

Grabbing his keys off the counter, he exited the apartment, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked down the stairs to the parking garage. He still wasn't sure how to explain himself to her; it sounded pretty hypocritical, he couldn't be with one person because of their job, but could with another that worked at the same place. Sure he could have just been honest with her there on the chat, but, he feared hurting Bianca. He couldn't bring himself to admit publicly that he felt more of a connection with Israel than with the Wonder Woman actress. Camden had found himself thinking of Rae on his date with Bianca, feeling disconnected from the whole thing. He felt horrible for it, he still did. It was just obvious that the two of them were looking for different things, and while he was attractive to the young actress, he couldn't bring himself to try and force a relationship on someone who was in no position to be in one.

As the engine in his Jetta roared to life, he turned the radio off, trying to think and clear his mind. Music was an escape for him, it took him away from reality and placed him somewhere safe. He often took hits for the majority of his songs being sexual in nature, but it was one of the safest places he could be. So intimate, close, yet so powerful and forceful. Other than love from his mother and family, it was the closest thing he had to love. Camden would always choose a stable relationship over just a random fling, but, it was easier in the entertainment industry to find a hook up or a one night stand than a faithful woman. Not to mention one that wasn't just looking for someone to thrust them into the spotlight. He had found that out the hard way, the first few girlfriends of his being just that after his successful launch of his music career.

Pulling up to Israel's apartment building, he parked on the street, making sure to feed the meter all that he could before dashing inside and up to her floor. All he could think about was the last thing Rae had told him, that she didn't care if he was talking to other women, that they weren't anything serious. It was true, they weren't, so he wasn't sure why exactly he was so worried about the conversation that lied just beyond the door in front of him. They were just casually dating, having fun, not really caring about anything important. There were no commitments on either side, so he had no reason to defend whatever he told to another girl. But he wanted to, and that said a lot for the young man. Knocking twice, he shoved his fist into the front pockets of his jeans, rocking back on his heels as he waited.

---

i'll make this pretty in a bit!

[ISRAEL YADIRA MONROE]

This thing Israel had with Camden, whatever it was, was completely random. She hadn’t been looking for anything and she was content with her life at that particular moment. But that night when she and Camden were flirting shamelessly she couldn’t deny the resounding chemistry between them. He was funny, attractive, and a true gentleman. Israel would have been stupid to turn down a date with him. At the time she didn’t know that Camden had been seeing Bianca. Even if she had, Israel wasn’t sure if it would have mattered. She wasn’t a homewrecker by any means but whatever he’d had going on with her wasn’t serious. Camden and Israel were enjoying each other’s company. There were no boundaries or rules of commitment. As far as she knew, his relationship with Bianca was the same way and Israel didn’t mind at all. When Israel brought the conversation with Bianca to Camden’s attention she hadn’t intended for it to be a big deal. However, what was a bit concerning was the fact that Bianca seemed to have expressed interest in seeing Camden more regularly and he’d turned her down because they worked together. As a result, things between them ended. Considering that Israel also worked on the same set as both Bianca and Camden, she couldn’t understand why his sentiment didn’t apply to her as well.

Israel shut down her laptop then headed to her oversized bathroom. As she brushed her teeth she thought about the day she’d had prior to the stint in the chatroom. She’d spent the night over at Camden’s place and they’d followed up their sleepover with some lingerie shopping. Those trips were generally saved for couples in committed relationships; however, Camden owed her a pair of panties so they made a thing out of it. She enjoyed spending time with him. They got a long really well and had a lot of fun together. There were never any expectations; they just went with the flow. That’s what Israel generally did when she was dating. She didn’t like putting labels on her relationships until she was completely committed and knew for sure that her partner was as well. Instead of pushing or forcing things, Israel liked for things to happen organically. Israel had developed a reputation for only dating celebrities. It was true, she loved the limelight and the highlife, but make no mistake, Israel believed that if she wanted to, she could be a star on her own. However, being wanted by someone of high stature who spoiled her made her feel extra special.

After brushing her teeth, Israel put on a few coats of mascara and a bit of cherry chapstick. She didn’t overdo it with excessive amounts of makeup but she wanted to brighten up her face a bit after lounging around her apartment for a while. She stayed in her shorts and tank top but pulled her hair down to hang in loose waves around her face. These days it was a natural dark brown, no blue or pink streaks or crazy bangs. For once, she looked relatively normal. Just as she was about to get comfortable on the couch there was a knock at the door. As usual, she couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face whenever Camden was near. She opened the door wide eyed and lips turned upward. “Hey,” she greeted him. Regardless of the reason for his visit, she was happy to see him. She always was. Israel stepped forward to give him a warm hug before stepping back to let him in. After closing the door behind him she made her way through her small living room to her kitchen. “You want anything to drink? Beer, wine, water?” For the most part, Israel stuck to water or tea and if she ever wanted something sweet she’d go for diet coke, though she didn’t keep it in the house. For herself, she uncorked a bottle of rosé and poured a decent sized glass. “I hope I didn’t put you off by asking about B,” Israel said. There was no point in beating around the bush. “I just wanted to be clear about how you felt about our professional relationship. The last thing I want to do is put you in a compromising position.”