GET YOU HIGH *

[abigail]

Abigail had been having a pretty tough time with herself lately. She had made the plunge and married Malcolm, she honestly couldn’t see herself with another man. Their marriage had been overshadowed by the controversy that had been Cassie and Draven marrying one another. That never bothered her though, she preferred the publics concern to not be on her. She had been happy, proud of herself for the progress that she had made with her life. Before marrying Malcolm and even way before that she had been a bitter person. Mad at the world for what it had hashed out at her, and really what the world had given her hadn’t been that bad. Sure she didn’t have a family she communicated with, and sure she had been pretty broken to love, but she had a career, one that she hadn’t even chosen. Everything for Abigail had worked out in the end. The girl who thought that she would never be in a decent and true loving relationship with a person was married and in love. What she wanted out of life now was a child.

Her and her husband had been trying to months to get pregnant, and it was turning out to be seemingly impossible. Sometimes she did not count the months that Malcolm was recovering from a dingo bite, just because he had been a horribly emotional man during that time and Abigail had tried to stay away from him for fear of exploding on him when she knew all of his cruel behavior had just been caused by the pain of the bite. She really did love him though and she really wanted a child. She watched her friends get pregnant, other celebrities get pregnant, and all she wished is that she would get pregnant. Holly had her child and Abigail was happy for her, but most of the time she felt envious. There were so many people in the world having children that were unplanned or children that they did not want, and all Abigail wanted to do was get pregnant while these seemingly super-humanly fertile teenage girls were falling on their first dick and hatching babies. Because of the strong desire to be pregnant, sex wasn’t what it use to be. Now it seemed like a chore more than an intimate consummation between two people that loved each other. It was extremely frustrating.

One morning a couple of weeks ago Abigail had woken up with what she thought was morning sickness, throwing up and what not. She had missed her cycle and the first thing that she thought was that she was pregnant. She did not buy a pregnancy test to check because she felt like she was sure. Over the next couple of weeks she put on a little weight and she was sure that she was pregnant. She figured with the weight gain that it had happened months ago maybe, there were plenty of times that she could have been impregnated in the past months. She finally bought a pregnancy test and it was negative. She was extremely disappointed. Abigail was definitely feeling defeated and hopeless. She didn’t have much energy to do anything, she just wanted to be with child!

Cooper told Abigail and Malcolm that Cassie was pregnant and Abigail felt her heart shatter. Her jaw clenched when she heard the news and she felt something awful in the pit of her stomach. She congratulated Cooper as best as she could without seeming like a total dick about the situation. She finally felt hopeless as she sat on the bathroom floor, bawling her eyes out with the water to the shower running. She didn’t want Malcolm to hear her wailing, she had never been comfortable with people seeing her cry. She sat with her back against the bathroom door. She didn’t feel like she hated Cassie and Cooper, she just felt like she was a failure, just when she had gotten over all of those obstacles. This baby situation definitely had her relapsing.

The red head calmed her crying and she reached up into one of the drawers under the sink, it contained marijuana. She pulled the bag out and rolled herself a joint, using a match that she used to light the candles in the bathroom she lit up, bringing the joint between her lips she closed her eyes. She hadn’t smoked in a long time for fear that it would screw with her chances of getting pregnant. At this point though she couldn’t give any less of a shit and Malcolm was still smoking anyway. She had half a mind to blame the whole thing on him, but she was done blaming him for shit, she had done enough of that before they got married. The more she smoked the less she cried. When the tears were done streaming she got up off of the floor and turned the shower off. She unlocked the door to the bathroom and walked out after disposing what was left of the joint. She felt like a fool for thinking that she could ever have a family.

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SOLO!