MORE IS NEVER BETTER,

[alex]

What could you do when you had it all? Fame, fortune, friends, pretty much everything one needed to get by on. There was nothing left to own, there was nothing left to acquire, nothing left at all. It suddenly made you feel empty inside, sitting in a huge house in the middle of the dance studio, with no one. Who knew that acquiring everything would leave a person so empty inside. From the outside, Alex Brooks looked like she had it all, looked like she was living large and the happiest person alive. She wasn't, she never had been, and probably never will be. She focused on bettering herself, she was always wanting to be at the top, but now that she was there... she felt better at the bottom. Everyone always told her it'd be easy to find love, it'd be easy to get a girlfriend or boyfriend with her rate of success. That wasn't the point, being dumped for fame, being rejected for feelings, it made her feel like shit. She was trying to make herself forget it all, but it just wasn't working.

Lately, she'd been drinking away everything, from feelings for Desiree to wanting to curl up and just cry. Yeah, you didn't always need to be in a relationship to be happy, but it sure felt nice to have someone there to hold you at night. Someone there to share her day with, to share her success with, but yet she got no one. Desi was gone, Nix was gone, Kat was gone, everyone else only liked her for who she was or who she made herself out to be. Who would of thought it would leave her here... sitting alone in silence to think about everything. She'd given up her feelings for Desi, knowing it would never work out and they were better off as friends. But, her and Nix were always together now, always busy, and Alex removed herself because she felt like some third wheel of sorts. Ava lived with her, but she hated bothering the girl about stupid shit like this, about how lonely she was and how she felt like things had gone downhill. Alex had made a lot of mistakes in life, from drugs, to too much alcohol, to stupid tattoos, to fucking over good things, to doing stupid shit on stage. A lot of people looked at her like she was some cray bitch, but no one ever asked if she was ever okay or if she was in need. Kat exited her life at the wrong time, so did Desi and the rest of so called "friends" that she had.

Sitting back, she laid on the wood floor, staring up at the ceiling and sighing. Who was she to complain? She had it good, she had her life pretty much set, but who knew fame would come at the price of loneliness. Maybe Dex was right, she wasn't good for anyone, she was best being alone. Shifting herself, she curled up and let the tears start falling from her face. How could she let it get to this point? To the point of where she was so depressed, she couldn't move. She was not about to punch her mirror again, she just had that replaced. Slowly, and unsteadily, she walked to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Hands gripping the sink, she couldn't stand even looking at herself anymore. She tried so hard to be someone, to be someone everyone would like and be friends with, but maybe all this time she'd been trying too hard. She had been lying to herself constantly, lying to everyone, stopping it now probably wouldn't do much. She rose a hand, running her nails down her own face, before balling it in a fist and colliding it with the mirror. She swore she wouldn't do it, but as the glass shattered, and the blood pooled, this time she wasn't rushing to clean it up. She picked up a piece of glass, gripping it and trailing it along her arm, leaving a blood trail. She could see the headlines already, "Alex Brooks goes crazy, finally" or "Alex Brooks finally loses it" or maybe, "Alex Brooks goes suicidal." Oh how she could see the front page now, and yet she didn't care, she just slowly sank to the floor and let it bleed. She had to pass out sooner or later, maybe she should clean this up. She pulled down a towel, pressing it to her arm and gripping another with her hand. Keeping herself alive, and yet she didn't even know why. She didn't need help, she didn't want help, she just needed someone there for her. Resting her head on her knees, she felt herself sink deeper into things.

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