what a wicked game, jolene

[Deleted]

it's strange what desire will make foolish people do.

***

Kill him. Kill him now, but he could not say what he was looking for here at this time of the day. It was more than one hour after midnight and he was staring at the front door of her apartment. Jolene Sullivan’s apartment. That was Los Angeles and nobody was sleeping at this tome of the night, but it was crazy, to be honest. It was crazy to get out of your bed after unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep; it was crazy to put on the first clothes you saw, and then stopping the fist free taxi. It was crazy to stand numb in front of Jolene’s front door. She would open in and would probably yell “You’re insane” at him after he knocked.

But he hadn’t knocked on her front door. Not yet. He was just standing there and quietly staring at it for like more than ten minutes. He was wondering what the hell he was going to tell her when she opened the door. He himself could not say what he was doing here, not to mention that he had to make up an excuse for his visit. Suddenly he found his hand on the doorbell, but then he abruptly pulled it aside as if he got burned. He could not find the braveness to look Jolene into the eyes. It was hard to admit it, but he had to – he had been acting like a complete asshole. He spent one of the most unforgivable nights in Ray’s life. He was still thinking that it was a mistake, a big one, but he couldn’t just wave his hand and say that nothing had happened. It was not right to do that. It just was not right to do that to Jolene.

But what about Jolene and Dale at the Hawaiian party just two days ago? Jolene being Dale’s date. The picture of them two stepping into the room had totally ruined Ray’s mood and intentions for having a great fun. Of course, he had chosen to run away. Again. He hadn’t even talked to them, though he had barely took his eyes off of them. He asked a few people about Jo and Dale – whether they were a couple now or not, but the answers were not enough for him. He wanted to know more, to know the truth. However, he had chosen to run away by grabbing the nearest bottle of booze and draining it at the rooftop on his own. Pretty egoistic, some would say, but definitely and completely desperate. He was pathetic and realizing that helped him to quickly move his hand and finally knock on Jolene’s front door.

He had questions. She, for sure, had questions too.
Many questions.

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TAG: ZOE as JOLENE <3
OUTFIT: CLICK
NOTES: it's too short, but i wanted to start it asap. <3[/size][/blockquote]

[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 363636; width: 370px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10;] you wanna know how it feels? It was late at night, or rather early morning, whatever. But Jo was still up watching television, she wasn't sure what she was watching but as there was now a little man signing at the bottom of the screen she figured it was probably time to go to sleep. She yawned as she switched the television off, and stretched as she got up from her sofa. She was now surrounded in complete darkness as she felt blindly around her apartment to her bedroom. It probably wasn't the brightest idea to travel in the dark as she soon walked into something, she didn't know what exactly, but she cursed like a sailor when a sharp pain made itself noticed. As the pain settled to a numb tingling sensation, she searched along the wall for the light switch, wanting to inspect the bruise. And as she lifted her top to inspect her hip, she heard a knock on her door and she abruptly dropped her shirt. She padded over to the door and opened it. Not bothering to look through the peep hole. The brunette crossed her arms defensively as saw who was on the other side. "What are you doing here Ray?" she spoke, not bothering to invite him in. She didn't think he deserved the courtesy, especially after everything that had happened. He hadn't had the decency to give her a call, or even a simple text about that night. In fact, he hadn't even uttered a single word about it. Now, she was a young woman and she herself wasn't that type of girl to flirt and call the guy the same day. She liked to keep her options open. But this was different. They slept together. Didn't she at least deserve an email. Hell she would have settled for a tweet. But being left in the dark and unseeingly important was enough to damage anyone's pride and dignity. It was especially bruising when he had turned up in Arizona and hadn't even told her. She had to hear through the gossiping of the other cast members. Jo had hoped they would still remain friends after what happened but clearly that was too much to ask of Ray. No, instead he had forgotten about her and parading himself around casually with other people, not giving her the time of day. But she had gotten over it. Not completely, but she had convinced herself that she didn't need his companionship. She was perfectly fine with the plenty of other friends she had, so she engrossed herself with them. She went out to get her mind off him, she got into her work and that had worked. She hardly noticed that so many weeks had passed since she had heard from Ray. The last she had heard he was in France. And that was fine with her. He had his own life and she had his. She didn't need him. Or so she convinced herself to think anyway. But it would be a lie to say she didn't miss having him around. Because before all the fucking, they were great friends. They shared similar interests and it always felt good to be around him. And she missed that. A lot. But it didn't excuse his behaviour and she wasn't about to let him off the hook that easily. She stepped in-between Ray and her apartment, blocking his entrance "You can't just turn up on my doorstep anytime you want. It doesn't work like that" tagged; ray/neg! | wearing; here | notes; <33 made by owlgirl of caution 2.0

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[Deleted]

it's strange what desire will make foolish people do.

***

Ray could not fathom the damage he had caused to Jolene, though it did not require too hard thought process. He knew that she was upset with him, he could feel it, and that was why he didn’t call her all that time. He was scared of her reaction. They were friends for pretty long time, so he could honestly say that he knew her rather well, though she was as unpredictable as he was. They were too similar. And the thing that happened that night, it almost scared the shit out of him. This didn’t mean that he didn’t like it. Exactly the opposite. But he liked it so much that he was afraid. He did not feel ready for such a step. He just could not say that he and Jolene were a couple – it was something he was so scared of that he couldn’t explain it. The real problem was probably hiding into his past, but he couldn’t say that to her.

He was just scared of the future and Jolene’s reaction about him hiding from her. And that was how all that time had passed. Of course, he was not going to admit that fact. Never. But he was standing here, right in front of the front door of her home waiting for her to let him in. Actually he wasn’t surprised that she didn’t say anything about him going in. She was just standing there at a place, and she obviously thought that this was going to stop him. Oh, she was so far away from the truth. She was so small, even tiny, so skinny and frail, and fragile compared to him that it wasn’t going to be a problem for Ray to just pick her up with one hand.

The lump that formed into his throat left him speechless for the first few seconds after Jolene opened the door. Ray was just staring at her wondering whether she had been always that beautiful or not. She was adorable, and fascinating, and… Ray suddenly shook his head in fear of her quickly closing the door before him. He just couldn’t miss that chance. He couldn’t miss her. “I want to talk to you, Jo,” he murmured still without taking his big blue eyes off hers. Suddenly he closed the distance between them. They were now so close to each other that they could feel each other’s breaths.

They were close, really close, but only physically and that was what was killing Ray inside. He really appreciated the amazing friendship they had. He didn’t want to think about something more that could happen between them, at least not now, but he was sure that he didn’t want to loose the thing the had had before that night. They had slept. Okay, now, could they just move on? A simple glance at Jolene was enough for him to understand the answer. No. “May I come in?” He nodded at the flat and then continued as calm as if he was just talking to her about the weather, “Or you want all your neighbors to hear what I have to say? Because you know how loud I can be.” He simply shrugged knowing that he just won the battle for entering her home.

______________________________

TAG: ZOE as JOLENE <3
OUTFIT: CLICK
NOTES: <333[/size][/blockquote]

[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 363636; width: 370px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10;] you wanna know how it feels? Jo knew her resolve would break sooner or later. She couldn't stay mad at Ray, no matter how hard she tried. They had a friendship that was something of the movies, it was too precious to throw away. And Jo was willing to forget everything if she had to, just to have her friend back. But a part of her hoped it wouldn't come to that. She sighed when he told her wanted to talk. She had wanted to talk all those weeks ago, and was she given the chance? She had to look away for him unwavering gaze. They were drawing her in, trapping her. She couldn't let him off so easily, she wouldn't, but that look wasn't making things easier. The brunette closed her eyes briefly as he closed the distance between them. He was too close, far too close. How on earth was she suppose to think rationally now? She looked up into his eyes and wished she hadn't. All of those feelings she had managed to push down, lock up, had resurfaced. She wanted to reach out, hug him, kiss him, anything but she couldn't. They were so close but the distance that had been created before was too great to close right away. Her defensive stance hadn't altered in the least, she was going to stick this through. She had to. She was about to flat out reject his request to enter her flat but was beat to it by his excuse. She didn't want him to come in, the thought of that made her feel vulnerable and remembering what she was wearing made her feel even more so. She didn't want to be alone in her home, for fear she wouldn't be able to control herself or rather neither of them would. The bedroom would only be a few paces away. She sighed in defeat and stepped aside as he walked in. "What do you have to say now Ray?" she asked as she closed her front door and stepped into the hallway to join him. "What could you possibly say that I don't know already?" she rose her brows skeptically. "I know you must think what happened was a huge mistake! That fucking me was the worst thing that could've happened to you. Well spare your words, I already know" she spoke bitterly, not bothering to sugar coat things. She was hurt by all of it. And the worst part, was that she actually believed that. What happened was a mistake and he simply hated the time they had spent together. What other conclusion could she have drawn by his behaviour? tagged; ray/neg! | wearing; here | notes; <33 made by owlgirl of caution 2.0

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[Deleted]

it's strange what desire will make foolish people do.

***

Raynold was listening to Jolene without even trying to interrupt her. For the first time since he had been such an asshole he understood what he had caused her. And it wasn’t nice. Definitely not. And he didn’t feel right. Actually he felt like the worst man in the entire world, but what he had to do now after all this time had passed? He wasn’t good at apologizing, especially when it had to be done face to face as in that case. “Jolene,” he murmured reaching out for her. But he didn’t touch her. He couldn’t. He didn’t have the face to do it. But hell how much he wanted to touch her. Just a small caress; nobody – even she – was going to notice it. “See, Jolene, I… You’re not a mistake. I…” His mouth stood opened that way until his thoughts were flying with the speed of light through his head, but he couldn’t catch a single one. What he was supposed to say now? He had never been in a situation like this. Yes, he had been giving apologies, but never long and sensual like this one. He desperately needed “How to apology FOR DUMMIES” right at this moment. And if there wasn’t such a book, he was going to write one. First he had to find out how to apology without receiving a punch right in the face.

He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t. Ray was choking with his own apologizing words, they were sticking into his throat and he couldn’t make even a sound. He was just staring at her with his big blue eyes trying not to sink into the deep black oceans her eyes were. He swallowed with difficulty still without taking his eyes off hers. This damn woman. How many times he had to repeat that he was doing it for her good? He was just trying to protect her from himself. Was she that blind? Was she that into him?

When one’s in danger, she or he just changes the topic and starts attacking his opponent with other arguments. Raynold was that kind of person, so he changed the topic in a try to win the game. But was it a game? Were her feelings a game; the feelings of both of them? Too much thinking he refused. “Well, it doesn’t seem that you care that much since you came at the damn Hawaiian party with that fucking asshole,” he paused widening his eyes. “Oh, Dale, I mean,” he added. Ray couldn’t stand that guy, but this time he wasn’t running away from the truth – he admitted the fact that he couldn’t stand him just and only because of what he had with Jolene. Whatever it was. “What the hell were you thinking?” He yelled. What the hell was Ray thinking? He stepped back, running his hand through his fluffy hair. He was staring at the floor if there was an answer there. Suddenly he took another step to Jolene turning his eyes back at hers. He was so close that he could feel her breath against his neck. “Are you sleeping with him, Jolene?” He asked quietly piercing her with his blue eyes, sparkling from anger.

______________________________

TAG: ZOE as JOLENE <3
OUTFIT: CLICK
NOTES: <333[/size][/blockquote]

[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 363636; width: 370px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10;] you wanna know how it feels? Jo looked away as he reached for her. She wanted to close the distance between them but there was something standing between them. They still had unresolved issues, it wouldn't be right to bury them and have them resurface with an even uglier face. His stumbling's did nothing but irk her "then what am I? Spit it out Ray" He wasn't making matters any better, in fact he was only confusing her further. She wanted to know what could possibly be going through his mind. She wanted to know where they stood between each other. She knew she had feelings for him, that she was certain of. But what she wanted to become of those feelings, she didn't know. Jolene rolled her eyes at his comment about the party. She knew something was up with him since he had left the chat and had clearly avoided her during the whole party. She didn't see what the big deal was, she had arrived with Dale as a date, but that didn't mean anything happened between them after. They were simply enjoying each others company. Something Ray and Jo hadn't done in what seemed like years ago. But was he jealous? Well good, Jo was glad. At least now he would know how she felt when he was off miles away with another girl having not spoken to her for weeks. Jo scowled at him as he tried to pin this all on her "me? what was I thinking?!" she asked incredulity "don't play innocent Ray." she rested her hand on her hip "You went all the way to Arizona to take Ryland out on a fucking date! What about me Ray? I was there too. I had to find out you were in the same fucking state as me from a cast mate. So don't you dare yell at me!" she yelled right back. She was beyond pissed now. She assumed he had come to apologise not berate her at a god forbidden hour. The question caught her off guard. It caused her earlier rant to die off into a mere breath. She stumbled on her words, unsure what to say exactly. She was torn between the truth and concocting some lie. It was hard. She didn't want to lie to him, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings also. Because she really did like him.. But she also liked Dale. She had history with Dale, but then she could create even more history with Ray. Her promiscuous ways were catching up with her. She had slept with Dale a mere few days after she had hooked up with him, but then Ray and herself weren't official. They weren't bound to each other, so really it shouldn't make a difference that she did. She wasn't wrong to do so, it wasn't like she had cheated on him. But Jo had a feeling Ray was looking for a way out of this, and telling him would only give him an excuse to run away again. I should be asking you the same question. But which girl is it Ray? Is it Ryland, or is it Jaiden?" she spat. There was no way she was about to back down and no way was she about to sit back and take this from him when he was clearly in the wrong also. tagged; ray/neg! | wearing; here | notes; <33 made by owlgirl of caution 2.0

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[Deleted]

it's strange what desire will make foolish people do.

***

Raynold knew that Jolene knew that he was jealous. Actually it was pretty obvious, and she seemed glad about that fact. That was what was driving him insane – he hated to be played that way as much as he hated manipulation in its all kinds. He just couldn’t stand here watching her playing with his own words. “Me? What was I thinking?” Jo asked. While she was speaking, Ray didn’t take his eyes off hers even for a second. He knew that she was going to find out about his little visit to Arizona. Well, it wasn’t as if he was hiding it from her, but now when he had admit the fact that he hadn’t met her, it seemed really hard to do. It was really hard. Especially when he was on a date with Ryland, and she, unfortunately, was a co-star of Jolene in the film that they were shooting. “As you said already , Jo, I was on a date,” he started slowly and coherently. “I had to get back to LA as soon as possible,” he added hoping that she could understand him. He really had to go back in LA in order not to miss his flight with Jaiden. It was a really, really pathetic excuse, and the worst was that he could fathom it.

“I should be asking you the same question,” Jolene started. Ray rolled his eyes heavily breathing out. Of course, he had to predict that she was going to use his own words against him. It wasn’t fair. He opened his mouth in order to interrupt her, but when Jo got Jaiden into the talk, Ray didn’t say a word, even though his mouth remained wide open. It was hard for him to talk now, when he understood what was on Jolene’s mind, even if it was a small part of what it was in there. Okay, Ray was to be blamed for Ryland, even though that was disputable, too, in his opinion. He had slept with Jolene, and then he went on a date with Ryland. That was it. Ray and Jo were nothing, but friends at that time, so he had no blame for going on a date with Ry. But he was going to kill a man if he heard once again that he had something more than just a friendship with Jaiden. They were friends. Best friends. They had as strong relationship as the one between siblings. None of them had ever looked at the other in a romantic way. And that was never going to happen. Never. It was one of the few things that Raynold was sure about. Jaiden was adorable, but she was just a friend of him. “What?” He murmured before started screaming again. “Are you serious? I can’t believe you think that me and Jaiden… that we… Oh, lord!” He buried his fingers into his hair feeling how his own sides were getting reddish. He was so mad at the fact that Jolene was brainwashed by the tabloids which were continuing talking about the imaginary romantic relationship between him and Jay.

But he still didn’t have the answer he wanted to hear. Well, he wasn’t definitely sure that he wanted to hear it. There was a danger of bleeding ears or breaking hearts if her answer was positive. And the second was definitely worse of the two. Suddenly Ray turned his back against Jolene and hit the wall putting all his strength into his fist. It hurt. It really did, but he knew it was better to break his hand instead of breaking the TV or something more expensive. As to Jolene, he was never going to hit her. Never. It was too low even for a lost person like him. “I’ve never slept with Ryland and I’ve never been with Jaiden,” he screamed with all his throat. He was sure that even though they weren’t outside in the corridor, the neighbors could still hear them. “Get this fucking bullshit out of your head, Jolene!” Suddenly he found himself again close to her, but this time holding her face into his hands. She seemed so small, so frail that he had the feeling that he could break her as if she was made of glass. His blue eyes stared at hers. He was breathing hardly trying to control himself. His knuckles were already bleeding. “But have you…” he spoke quietly right into her face. “have you slept with… him?”

______________________________

TAG: ZOE as JOLENE <3
OUTFIT: CLICK
NOTES: wow? <3[/size][/blockquote]

[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 363636; width: 370px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10;] you wanna know how it feels? Jo rolled her eyes, not believing what he was saying. She didn't believe for one second that he couldn't have stopped by quickly to say hi, that he could spare a few moments to wish her well with filming. There was a part of her still hung up over the fact that he hadn't made any effort to reach her, the distance was great but there was always a cell phone or email. Anything. It was no secret that there was no tension on set due to her and Ryland going after the same guy. Jo didn't let it interfere with their work but Jo was finding it exceedingly difficult to pretend to adore Ryland as if she was God reincarnated. But she did it, despite her thoughts about Ryland. There weren't exactly good thoughts either. If anything this incident had at least did one good thing, they're on screen fight would look even more believable. Jo was finding everything he said hard to believe. It was not that she was untrusting person, she wasn't. She trusted her friends and her family, she trusted them with her life if need be. But she just couldn't get herself to believe what Ray was saying. What made it harder for her to believe him was the fact that he was skirting around the question she had asked. The longer he diverted his answers the more she convinced that something did happen in Cannes. He was a really good actor, she'd give him that. She wanted to believe him, he seemed genuine enough but her gut feeling was just not believing it. She flinched slightly as he yelled at her. Her eyes widened as he punched her wall, she cringed as she heard the impact. She was sure there would be bruising on his knuckles after. His hands were on each side of her head just as suddenly as he had punched the wall. His knuckles were bleeding, so she chose to look at that instead. She couldn't look him in his as he repeated his question. Jo looked down, biting nervously on her lower lip. She didn't want to tell him, she knew how he would react. She knew how she would react if she had been chaste whilst he was around sleeping with any available girl. "Your knuckles are bleeding" she said stating the obvious. She wanted to avoid the subject all together "I'll clean it up for you" she said, but making no move to go to her medicine cupboard. She felt so bad. But if what she was feeling was anything, he had probably done something with one of those girls despite his protests. She built up her courage and looked him in the eye, totally convinced they were on an even playing field "yes I slept with him! Are you happy now?" she asked, not expecting an answer. She doubted he was at all happy finding out that she had slept with someone less than a month from their fling. "I slept with him. There. I said it." she spoke, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration. tagged; ray/neg! | wearing; here | notes; <33 made by owlgirl of caution 2.0

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[Deleted]

it's strange what desire will make foolish people do.

***

Why it all had to be so difficult? Why it all had to be so complicated? He couldn’t to anything else, but think that he actually deserved it. He had done many bad things in his life. Raynold Graves defiantly wasn’t a saint. It was obvious that he wasn’t happy with his fate, but what else he could do? He always hurt people. He hurt Jolene, too. But why didn’t she just trust him like she always did until all those shits between them happened? He wasn’t stupid. Not at all. And he could see that Jolene didn’t believe a word he said. And that killed him. It killed something big and great inside of this man, because probably most all things in this world he hated mistrusting. What he had to do? Jolene didn’t believe him and he couldn’t find a way to change that fact.

His knuckles were bleeding, but he didn’t notice it until she saw them. He sighed quietly, when she said that she would clean up the blood upon his hands. He didn’t know what he had done, but the worst was that he didn’t know what to do now. It was crazy; too crazy even for a person like him. He could hardly breathe. He was ready to give up. He was ready to turn around and just quietly walk away. He was ready to get out of her life before things got even worse. For both of them. But she spoke to him. And what she said he couldn’t swallow. At the first moment he felt as if it was an insult. Suddenly he quickly moved his hands away from her face, his deep blue eyes still staring into hers. He didn’t want to take his eyes off of hers. He knew it sounded stupid or even desperate to say it, but he was looking for a light, even for a small spark that would tell him that she didn’t say the truth, that what she said was a complete lie.

But he couldn’t find it. And he could almost hear the sound of something breaking inside of his chest. Was it going to be too cute if I say that it was his heart? Yes. So he was never going to admit that something like that happened; not even in front of himself. He couldn’t believe in what she said. No, he didn’t want to believe it. Did she really put the blame for a non-existing faithlessness, when actually she was the one that had slept with Dale? She was probably making fun of him. But Ray knew she didn’t and that was what was driving him insane. He took the first object before his eyes into his hands – whether it was a vase or a glass pitcher, he couldn’t tell – and hurled it at the opposite wall. The sound of a breaking glass didn’t startle him at all. Suddenly he made a step to Jolene closing the distance between them even more. He didn’t care about his bleeding knuckles; he didn’t care about the vase or the pitcher. His eyes were still started into hers. He didn’t even care about Dale anymore. In a second later he found his hands on the each side of her face again. In the next he was kissing her passionately. If he could only say what was going on into his mind, it was going to be way easier. But he couldn’t.

______________________________

TAG: ZOE as JOLENE <3
OUTFIT: CLICK
NOTES: wow? <3[/size][/blockquote]

[Deleted]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: 363636; width: 370px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 10;] you wanna know how it feels? She felt him recoil as she said those words. Like she had slapped him or told him some kind of tragic news. And then he was staring at her, she didn't like how quiet he had gone. She had expected something from him, shouting, screaming anything. But not silence. Silence was unbearable. She didn't know what was going through his head as he continued to look at her. She looked away not able to keep eye contact any longer. She felt so bad, the betrayal was evident in his eyes. she had done something irrevocably wrong, she had broken his trust. All in the name of revenge or rather closure. Yes, it was closure. She had felt used and discarded, and Dale fixed that. Dale made her feel sexy, wanted even. It was a welcomed feeling, something she hadn't gotten from Ray since that night. It was his fault really, no. What was she thinking? She couldn't blame him for his actions. It was completely down to her, she had wanted it. She kissed him back, she followed him back to his apartment. It was no-one fault but her own. She flinched when he threw the vase. At least he finally did something. She was frozen on the spot, her head bowed. She wasn't sure whether she should apologise or just leave. Well she couldn't leave, it was her apartment. And there was no use apologising, that wouldn't take back what happened. Though Jo wasn't entirely sure she wanted to take it back, that would be saying she didn't enjoy what happened between her and Dale, that she didn't want to be with him. Which she did. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place really. Torn between two men, something she hadn't planned to happen. Everything was just spiraling out of control. She was taken by surprise when she found his hands back on her face. Her eyes widened and a small gasp escaped from her lips as he began to kiss her. It took a while for everything to register in her brain. And she still wasn't sure what was happening. From seething and throwing a vase then to kiss her this passionately. She was confused, more than confused but she went with it. She deepened their kiss, opening her mouth, their tongues touching as their bodies did the same. Her hands were everywhere until they settled in his mess of curls, pulling him closer. Not daring to break their kiss, for fear that rationality would make it back to her brain. She led them to her bedroom. She couldn't believe this was happening again. She was going to hell for this surely. tagged; ray/neg! | wearing; here | notes; oh my! :o made by owlgirl of caution 2.0

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