holes in my apologies

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regan
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Mar 4, 2012 14:41:28 GMT -5

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Post by regan on Mar 4, 2012 14:41:28 GMT -5

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I HAVE NO REASON TO RUN FROM YOU

The Words: 867 The Outfit: here + leggings and heels The Notes tag: cooper.

"penny! come on darling." regan said with a chuckle as she watched the little white ball of fluff making an effort to keep up amongst the foot traffic of new york's busy sidewalks. the traffic on the edges of the street were almost as bad, if not worse than the traffic on the street but regan really didn't mind it all. she needed to get out of her condo for a while and get out of her head and though the smoggy streets of new york certainly weren't the best for getting air, it was all she had and so she would settle for it. she'd just come back to new york after a long stint away and the stagnant air in her condo was a good reminder of just how long she'd been gone. she'd been traveling for the most part. after getting into a role for over ten years regan had needed a chance to reboot and get a real grasp on what qualities were regan mcquaids and what qualities were hermione grangers. it wasn't a big deal really but she had been playing one significant role for a very, very long time and she'd needed some time to enjoy the lack of obligation to her franchise and just have some time to herself. she'd spent some time vacationing, hitting up the beach and trying a few new different things. she'd spent some time doing campaigns for different charities as well as clothing lines and whatnot. regan of course knew that she still wanted nothing more than to be an actress and to enjoy the time spent there, but at the same time she'd needed just a period of time to dull her mind and just do nothing. it was like summer vacation from acting. it was always only temporary as she started looking for new projects to get under her belt once again. she had enjoyed her time away but now it was time to get her shit back together and work on finding something new to get into.

regan was actually quite excited. she could finally take on a new role and really get into her acting chops. playing one person for a long time was fun and regan would never regret signing on for the franchise at such a young age. now that it was all over she could go about taking on new roles with new types of characters to show the world that she could do more than just wave around a wand. she was definitely up for the challenge and excited. for now she would settle for grabbing herself something to eat. the winter had been unusually warm and today was even one such unusual day. it was just over fifty degrees which felt like a heat wave. it didn't matter that the temperature really wasn't all that warm because in comparison to the past few days it felt like summer. some people were even daring enough to head out in t-shirts or shorts. regan was happy to go out in somewhat of an in between outfit of a mid0thigh dress and leggings. her pup trailed behind her by a few inches, keeping up and keeping away from stranger's feet as they walked. they came to a stop at an intersection, waiting for the light to change and let them cross. here regan gave a little squat and reached out to her pup who jumped into her arms, happy for the reprieve. regan crossed the street to a little cafe she remembered really loving. the tables were out in the front area of the cafe and people flocked to them, happily taking up a warm seat in the sun. regan was happy to spot an empty table as she made her way to it, taking a seat in one of the chairs and setting penny down in the other. penny, happy for the reprieve from a long walk, laid down on the chair, put her head on her paws, and huffed a great big sigh which did nothing more than make regan smile.

a waitress approached her, handing her a menu and taking regan's drink order, smiling down at both regan and her dog. "you can pet her if you like. she's a sweetheart." regan said to the woman who was obviously looking for a little interaction. regan was a big star and she couldn't deny that. she felt it was better for all to just embrace what she was an that people would be different around her. seeing as how she'd grown up this way throughout her childhood it was a little easier to grasp. the waitress said a polite no thank you but seemed to appreciate the attention as she walked off to get regan's drink, leaving regan to smile as she looked over the menu. she was still looking over her options when she heard penny growl a little yip of a bark and looked up at a familiar face standing over the third chair at her table. "i wasn't expecting to see you for a...well a while longer." her accent prominent as she did the polite thing and gestured to the chair, offering a seat.

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cooperdraven
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holes in my apologies

Mar 6, 2012 1:56:59 GMT -5

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Post by cooperdraven on Mar 6, 2012 1:56:59 GMT -5

Cooper Draven knew how dress. That much was obvious as the young man sat at home, slipping on a crisp, clean white button up with black squares on it. He tucked his shirt into his pants, and tied the dark red bow tie. He slipped on his glasses. They had a very Clark Kent-Superman effect on him, as nobody really saw him in sunglasses. Big framed Clubmasters, with gold trim. They made him into a new man, one that people wouldn't recognize on the streets. He was becoming more famous, and became increasingly recognized as he made his way around his new home. New York City and Cooper had a weird relationship. He didn't enjoy Manhattan by any means. He preferred Brooklyn, and its grittier elements to the fake glitz and glamour of the city. But, he realized his entire work industry hovered around a fake glitz and glamour. He was paid to be a glorified liar, and it didn;'t necessarily bug him all that much. He slipped on the vest he would be wearing over the shirt. Grey and finally the jacket. Gray with black and brown accents. He looked in the mirror. Messy hair, half grown beard and slight bags under his eyes. Only the bags were a new addition. He had been going through a difficult time, and required some sleep that he desperately could not achieve.

He rode into the city on the train. He flipped through a magazine. He read the newspaper. Nothing of note had really happened. He began walking towards the restaurant that the two had agreed they would meet at. An older joint that the two had been photographed eating at years ago. The two had a history. A complicated history of broken hearts, and of affection. But Cooper still cared for Regan. How could he not? She was a good influence, and she had been kind and patient with him. Cooper had screwed their relationship up. That much was beyond obvious to anyone that had known them. But that was a different time. The wedding band on his finger reminded him that. He smiled a little. Despite the rocks in his marriage, he still loved his wife more than anything.

The dog. The fucking dog. The little ankle biter had always driven Cooper crazy. There was something about Regan that he seldom saw in other girls. Something almost regal to her. If someone told him she was a princess he would have believed it. When she offered a seat he took it. He ran a hand through his hair. "Look at you. Back in the city that never sleeps. Right in the flesh." Cooper smiled, his signature crooked smile. He ran a hand through his dark brown hair. "So. it's really been this long since you and I sat down, and had a pleasant lunch hasn't it?" The two had worked together. But the set had been a bit awkward. Sure, they had been pleasant to each other. IF anyone had a reason to be mean it was her, and she was above that. Cooper sat down and removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes. "It's absolutely great to see you."

regan
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holes in my apologies

Mar 6, 2012 8:59:48 GMT -5

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Post by regan on Mar 6, 2012 8:59:48 GMT -5

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I HAVE NO REASON TO RUN FROM YOU

The Words: 720 The Outfit: here + leggings and heels The Notes tag: cooper.

it felt like ages since she had seen him and truthfully he looked the same. a little older, a little different, but to regan he was still the same man she'd fallen in and out of love with so many years ago. it was almost strange. being back here in a city she was familiar with after being away for so long and running into familiar faces. it was definitely starting to feel like she was officially back. regan didn't know if she would be back for the duration but she was certainly going to make a good effort of it. she could have easily lived in los angeles or somewhere just as focused on the glamour but really regan liked places like new york. she liked the hustle and bustle. she liked being around so many people on the streets. when she'd been filming the harry potter series it had mainly just been herself and the rest of the cast on remote locations that were fenced off and guarded like a prison. there were just a small handful of people around which gave that nice, homey feeling but to get away from that regan loved to go into the city and surround herself with people. being in new york post-potter was a big way to help her realize that it was over and that she was now on track for bigger, better experiences. she wanted nothing more than to prove herself a worthy actress. she'd been playing the same role for so long that while hermione granger was like second nature to her, she knew she needed to move on from that and try her hand at acting in parts she never would have before considered. new york was buzzing and the life that it had helped regan to realize that she was finally on her way to being an actress. potter had been a great stepping stone and had given her a rabid fan base. regan could only hope that those individuals would stick around just a little longer to see how she fared in other such projects. of course she was a little skeptical to get into sci-fi flicks at the moment. she didn't want to label herself as just another fantasy actress. she could be great in other roles and regan had enough confidence in herself to say such a thing. she just needed to prove it to the rest of the world.

"that i am." regan said with a smile as she looked up at him, blinking to offset the bright sunlight. well at least she was seeing the sun. it had been missing for such a long time that she'd worried she would never see it again, but that was a sentiment regan tended to use every winter. aside from the cool, crisp, cleansing snowfall winter was dreadful. it was only good for that first real snowfall when everything turned white and the grunge of the world seemed to wash away but even that couldn't last forever. the plows would come by and salt the roads and suddenly everything that was a wonderful white was dull, grey, and depressing. regan much preferred when the trees were full of life and when the flowers were in full bloom. she much preferred the vitality and beauty of spring and summer and with the warmer weather she was beginning to hope that she would somehow see it soon. "i really has. years i believe." she remembered working with him and it being pretty difficult but at the same time regan couldn't be mean to him. she couldn't shun him the way her mind had begged her to do so. regan was much to kind for a thing like that, something cooper had long since known and, in their darkest times, exploited. still, she couldn't hold a grudge. they put things behind them and could be friends now right? regan reached out a hand to her eagr pup as cooper sat down, drawing her attention and telling her silently, with a tap on the seat, to sit. "yes of course. you as well. it really has been forever." she caught his gaze for a moment, smiled, and pulled her attention to the menu. it was surprisingly difficult to do so but regan had to remind herself that this was a friendly meeting and nothing more. they were friends, he was married, and there would never be something like the past again. "so how've you been? how's the wife and children."

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cooperdraven
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holes in my apologies

Mar 6, 2012 11:56:11 GMT -5

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Post by cooperdraven on Mar 6, 2012 11:56:11 GMT -5

Cooper's dislike of New York City was based mostly out of West Coast bias. He was born and bred in San Francisco. A die hard homer for the bay. He felt comfortable in the salty, cold wind with sourdough bread and chowder to nourish him. His brief trip into the nostalgia of his hometown made the train ride into the city that he held such disdain for much easier. His head drifted in and out of thoughts of San Francisco Giant baseball and San Jose Shark hockey. He loved his hometown. He loved the old brick buildings and the big red bridge. He loved the new baseball stadium and the crumbling football one. It had character. It told it's history through it's weathered stone. And now, here he was. Riding the most famous subway in the history of the world, to a city that had vehemently determined itself to white washing it's history into gargantuan buildings with glass panes that could blind a man. He appreciated it's significance in a roundabout way. He had work on it's stages and in it's sets. He had even lived in it for a time, and now called it a reluctant home. Maybe he'd go to Coney Island on his way home. Nathan's hot dogs and a ride on the Ferris wheel would ease his mind at least for a little while. It would allow him to center himself before heading back home. He made a mental note to make enough time to at least swing by Coney. Something about the run down, former attraction really called to him. It was dingy, and dirty, and full of questionable characters. But it had character. Something Manhattan severely lacked.

Her smile and reply made him shake his head, smile on his face. He saw her squint. The sun was hurting her eyes. He brought up his hand and blocked the sun for her. "I thought you missed the sun. Looking away from it already? Tsk tsk, my dear." Cooper looked at the dog. He hated the ankle biter in ways that he was unable to explain. He had narrowed it down to the weird way that Penny walked and the annoying yip that she came with. Cooper sighed, shook his head. "You still have that thing? Penny's really awful. You know that right?" He mugged at the dog, and smiled at her. She must've thought he was joking. But he truly, truly disliked the dog. He looked at the menu, running his hands through the short beard he had grown over the past few weeks. "They're....kids are good. Wife's...I dunno. Difficult I guess. I donnow. It's just not what I thought it would be." Cooper was carefully with his words. He didn't want to betray the doubts that he was having with the relationship."You? Can't move on from this old charmer?" He was teasing. Half.

regan
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holes in my apologies

Mar 6, 2012 12:42:30 GMT -5

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Post by regan on Mar 6, 2012 12:42:30 GMT -5

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I HAVE NO REASON TO RUN FROM YOU

The Words: 784 The Outfit: here + leggings and heels The Notes tag: cooper.

there had been a lot of good memories with cooper, as well as a lot of bad. though she'd only been a child when they'd met, though technically eighteen wasn't much of a child anymore, at the time they were together regan really could have imagined having something with him. maybe it was crazy but even with the fact that he had a child she had liked him and she'd wanted there to be plenty more between them. regan had been responsible enough for the duties of taking on someone else's children and though it was a little crazy or out there regan had loved him enough to give it a go back then. of course things had managed to take a turn for the worst at one point and there wasn't much to be salvaged from there. regan simply couldn't handle some of the things cooper had done. they had of course been done with the best intentions but after a while things became too much for her to handle. she'd felt ever more like a child when they'd parted ways. like she couldn't be enough for him and it was hard for her to deal with. she had tried, she'd given her all, and that was all that could be said about the matter. whether or not they could have worked through it and maybe had something else, well it was out of the question and certainly was out of the question now. regan was happy for cooper. she was glad he'd found someone to make him whole again and that he made the commitment to spend the rest of his life with one person. it was the kind of commitment regan hoped to one day make but hadn't yet had the opportunity to do so. she wanted more than anything to have a family and grow up and be happy and whole with someone she could see growing old with. that was a big accomplishment to have and though regan hadn't yet achieved it she was glad that cooper had. he'd signed up for something huge and regan knew cooper understood the risks and all it had meant when he'd said the words "i do." he had made up his mind and regan wasn't going to question that in any way. that wasn't why she was meeting him here. that wasn't why she'd come. regan hadn't shown up today to get cooper back or to fight for him. he had his life planned out and even if the commitment he made to his wife didn't mean much to him, which regan doubted completely, it meant everything to regan and she would never want to get in the middle of anything.

"i did miss the sun but that doesn't mean i'm willing to let it blind me silly." she said, chuckling as he blocked the rays with his hand and giving him a grateful smile. she caught cooper looking over at penny and had to stifle her laugh. she knew the pair had never gotten along which she found utterly amusing. a man fighting with a pint sized pup. he'd stepped on her tail one too many times and she'd used his shoes as chew toys or bathrooms one too many times. they just didn't mesh which was why she was trying to draw the pup's attention her way instead of letting her yip at cooper. "i do and she's not that terrible she just doesn't like you. but she keeps me company and she breaks up the monotony in my life so she gets to stay." she knew he was making an effort to get along with penny, even if only for a few hours, and that effort, though small, did not go unnoticed to regan. "i'm glad to hear that." she said as cooper searched for the words to describe his marriage. regan didn't look into his words at all, she simply nodded. "they say the first year is the hardest and that everything gets tougher after the honeymoon phase but i have faith in you. you two will find everything necessary for a successful relationship i'm sure and if she's seen any part of you like i have then she's a lucky woman." regan's gaze fell to her lap with a slight smile, "no nothing on my end but that's my lack of trying. it's hard to go out and find someone who means something to you when everyone knows how popular you are. it's hard to tell those who are real with me from those who are not." she said honestly, looking up at him with a grin. "not everyone can know me as well as you do."

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cooperdraven
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holes in my apologies

Mar 10, 2012 12:39:11 GMT -5

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Post by cooperdraven on Mar 10, 2012 12:39:11 GMT -5

Cooper had grown to realize that you're not a man until you reach maturity, not when you reach 18 years old. The 20 year old Cooper Draven had been a terrible boyfriend. He had been more selfish, more petulant, more crass, and less sensitive to the girl's feelings. He had deeply loved her, and had cared for her as best as he could with his mindset and had tried to mature. But as is often the case with life it was heartbreak and being alone that came with the best advice. During his time with her he had given up tobacco, and other drugs. He had been clean, and in one of the best physical and mental places in his whole life. When it had come to an end he had spiraled back into a cycle of immaturity and decadence, but something had changed. He became a more responsible parent, and became more focused on his work. In a way, dating Regan had been one of the best things to happen to him. And he was eternally grateful for that. It had, in a roundabout way lead to his marriage. After Stevie, the mother of his children, had left him he had seen himself as unable to committ to anything again. Sure, he was a romantic at heart but seeing someone he had a child with leave had broken him mentally. Reckless behavior, and the like. And now he was married. It was nothing like he had thought it would be. Difficult and angry and full of fights and potholes. But that's what he got for rushing into things. He thought that it was the right thing and right now he was beginning to regret it. Not that he would tell Regan or anyone else. HE had hinted at it, but never outright acknowledged it.

He pulled the chair out and sat in front of her, straightening out his blazer. To be fair, he was probably the one responsible for the crappy relationship between himself and Penny. He had stepped on her tail when he had rolled out of bed and fallen down when he had stepped over her. "Nah. She's not the luckiest girl. She's stuck with a man child like me. Must be pretty fucking difficult, I think." Cooper shrugged and added. "I guess you would know right? Dealing with the worst man child on earth." Cooper smiled softly and shrugged. It was a bit of an apology for the times he had put her through. Cooper nodded., rubbing his chin slightly. "You'll find someone though. I mean, look at you. You're an amazing woman."

regan
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holes in my apologies

Mar 10, 2012 19:35:26 GMT -5

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Post by regan on Mar 10, 2012 19:35:26 GMT -5

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I HAVE NO REASON TO RUN FROM YOU

The Words: 640 The Outfit: here + leggings and heels The Notes tag: cooper.

regan had the utmost amount of faith in the people she came to know and love. cooper was one of those people. she would never make any attempt to ruin the happiness that he'd found even if at the moment it wasn't the happiness he seemed to assume it would be. regan could only assume that marriages were hard as she'd never been in one but all the statistics out there made it easy to judge. so many rushed into relationships and got swept away with the emotion so much that they couldn't be a proper judge of what was right and wrong with a relationship and regan hoped to god that wasn't the case with cooper. she hoped that he was the type who could make a situation like his work and stay faithful, true, and happy with one woman for the rest of his life. that was the way everyone dreamed of their marriages ending up right? you didn't want to die old and alone you wanted to die in the arms of the one you loved like the finale scene right out of the notebook. regan couldn't imagine how that would feel, to know you were so completely in love that your souls were bound to one another and that when one went, the other resigned as well. not many had a chance to feel that close and that loved when they left the world. she could only hope that her life would end exceptionally well like that. who really knew, regan certainly didn't, but if this was a world of make believe then she could dream up a life of total and complete happiness where that didn't change in the end. happiness forever. who could get sick and tired of being happy? there were some who thought too much into it, thought that happiness was overrated or that it wasn't living but didn't most if not all of the whole of humanity just spend their lives looking for one form of happiness or another? whether it was love, power, money, etc., people only tended to want to most of what would make them feel accomplished. regan really only wanted love. a love that would last her until her last day. a fairytale if you will.

"cooper you make yourself out to be some god awful monster and you and i both know that's not the case." she chided him with a serious look. "i may not have been around for an extended period of time but i believe i know you well enough to know you couldn't possibly be that bad." it had been ages and regan both didn't like that but was thankful for it. she was saddened by the fact that she hadn't had him in her life for this long but happy that he hadn't for if he had he would have just been a constant reminder of the love she had for him that she prayed would someday ease or dissipate altogether. she didn't want to stop loving him. stopping herself from being in love with him was another matter entirely. being away for as long as she had had done that for her, it had pushed the feelings aside, but even now as she sat across from him looking over the menu for what she wanted to eat, she still had to admit that the desire to have those feelings back were there. "if you were the worst thing to have happened to me i wouldn't be eating lunch with you." she said with a half smile. "thanks but i'm...i don't know...not looking i guess. if it comes to me then i'll accept it but i'm sick of meeting the wrong people." she said as she turned her attention back to the menu, her eyes skimming over the sandwich section.

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cooperdraven
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holes in my apologies

Mar 25, 2012 21:06:15 GMT -5

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Post by cooperdraven on Mar 25, 2012 21:06:15 GMT -5

Cooper was the polar opposite of Regan in that he was bitter, never optimistic, and extremely pessimistic about the nature of human beings. Part of it stemmed from the awful treatment his parents had dealt out to him. He had seen, at least in his eyes, every single person that he had loved turn on him in one way or another. Even Regan, after promising to help him and stick by his rough edges had quit on him. Sure, it had been his fault. His well intentioned gaffes had become to much and he had driven her to a tearful break-up. He chewed his lip for a second. Not a good place to venture into in current company. But Cooper had determined that if soon things didn't improve he would need to go through what would be a very painful, very costly, and very messy divorce. He was a romantic at heart. But even Cooper Draven himself had forgotten that. Right now he felt detatched from most things. And so, seeing this blast from his past was refreshing, melancholic, and even painful.

Cooper shrugged. "bad enough of a monster for you to dump, no?" It felt a bit like a barb, and part of it was supposed to be. He didn't know why he cared. He wasn't in love with her anymore. That had been years ago. But in the same way that you never stop loving your first love, Cooper had a soft spot for the beautiful, shy woman in front of her. Something about her voice brought back memories of a much simpler time, a much more relaxed time. Something that had nothing to do with the constant tightness in his shoulders that he walked around with now, or the constant anger. But right now it was a pleaseant lunch. He scanned the menu. He would pick at the last second. He didn't care what he ate. The meal was more to talk to Regan, instead of actually eating. "My dear, not a lot of bad things have happened to you. You got a good chunk of the world handed to you from a fairly early age." Cooper shrugged. "The right one will come along at some point right? You were always positive. You can't possibly change that around nowadays. It's too much change for me to handle from you." Cooper chucked softly and ordered a chicken wrap with some fries. "So. You took a sabbatical, you're back. You have a place? You working? Anything you wanna talk about?" Cooper smiled. He at least wanted to know what she was going through and what her plans were going to be for the near future.

regan
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holes in my apologies

Mar 25, 2012 21:49:54 GMT -5

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Post by regan on Mar 25, 2012 21:49:54 GMT -5

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I HAVE NO REASON TO RUN FROM YOU

The Words: 648 The Outfit: here + leggings and heels The Notes tag: cooper.

she was a happy person. regan enjoyed being the bright light in most cases. she had always been that way. she had always been the light in most people's lives whenever they were around her. it was contagious but mostly she just liked being that kind of person. she didn't push her boundaries. regan never wanted to be so bright and chipper that she made people feel ill just being around her. that was never the case. she liked what she could bring to the table but she didn't like to push her happiness down other people's throats. as for being happy around other people she tended to do her best to be polite and happy at the same time. if she saw that her efforts were becoming too much then she would dial herself back. there were times when a little splash of happiness couldn't brighten a person's day. there were times when she would just be considered annoying and regan didn't like that. she certainly didn't like t bug people. she much preferred evening out who she was in order to make people comfortable. that didn't necessarily mean changing herself for other people, she just liked to be herself in different quantities depending on how people saw her. cooper knew her well enough to know her brightest moments which was likely why he thought she was being a little dark. honestly she was just speaking the truth. regan wasn't looking for anything, hadn't found anything, and most often didn't trust many of the things around her because they only happened to her because she was famous. she'd had a few people that she'd let in close only want her for her fame, which she hadn't known at the time when she'd let them in. when people used you in that manner it tended to really, really hurt. it tended to sink down into your consciousness and fester. regan often thought that if it weren't for her fame people would not want anything to do with her, but that was just her doubt and fear sinking in in places they shouldn't. she knew that not everyone out there wanted to use her but it was so difficult to find the right kind of people in a world like this. often it was hard to distinguish.

"cooper back then i hadn't been prepared for...well everything. i'm not saying that it's any different now but i wasn't used to the way you loved me and the way things worked in your mind. what you saw as productive i saw as hurtful and i realize now that it's because we're very different people. i'm honestly sorry that i hadn't seen it before." she said with a bit of a shrug. cooper had always been good to her and she hadn't really realized that some of the things he'd done in the past had been for her benefit until well after they had ended things. "on the contrary, i worked hard for what i was awarded like everyone else. i just started younger." she said a bit taken aback. cooper knew how much her work had humbled her and how much she appreciated it. she wasn't quite sure she deserved what he was saying to her. "i'm still positive. i'm not counting out something good happening in my life i'm just saying there isn't much now. and i don't mean work wise i mean relationships wise." she ordered a veggie wrap with kettle chips and sat back in her chair, yes i have an apartment here in new york, right down the street actually. not working, currently looking. nothing really happening right now. there's been a bit of a lull since potter and i'm trying to get my feet wet again."

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cooperdraven
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holes in my apologies

Mar 25, 2012 22:36:12 GMT -5

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Post by cooperdraven on Mar 25, 2012 22:36:12 GMT -5

Cooper had just begun to get used to the laughter and had even started to cheer himself up when she had broken up with him. It had sent him reeling. How dare she change the person he was, take away his vices, replace them with healthy habits, make an effort with his son, and try to improve the quality of man that he was before leaving? He had seen it as a low blow, and it had hurt him. He had run back to the old vices of cigarettes and drugs and alcohol. He had turned bitter, and at least for a few months angry and disappointed. He had been disappointed at himself for ruining things, but he had also been disappointed that he had listened to her, and that she had been able to change him. In a way she had planted the seed or more accurately, deeply rooted the head strong stubborness that would become one of Cooper's defining traits. Cooper had known her to be distrustful of anyone that had met her after she had become famous. It was a strange beast to see the girl that he knew so intimately put up a wall around her. He couldn't blame her. For a time she was the biggest female star in the world. Everyone would try to get a piece of her pie. For a while he had served as a gatekeeper to her. He had pushed people away and had stepped on some people's toes. But it was all for her own good.

"Oh well. C'est le vie, non?" Cooper shrugged and shook his head. "i didn't mean to offend you. I know you worked hard. It was a manner of speaking. Never mind." Cooper shook his head and smiled. He nodded attentively. "you'll find something. It'll work out the best. You're a good actress and one of the biggest names in the world. How could it not work out the best for you?" Cooper offered her a smile and a nod, waiting for the food.

regan
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holes in my apologies

Mar 25, 2012 22:52:21 GMT -5

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Post by regan on Mar 25, 2012 22:52:21 GMT -5

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I HAVE NO REASON TO RUN FROM YOU

The Words: 581 The Outfit: here + leggings and heels The Notes tag: cooper.

regan had liked the change she had seen in cooper but she had never tried to push her ideals onto him. she had never asked him to quit smoking or drinking or drugs for her because it was never in her place to ask, even as a girlfriend. the way regan had seen it cooper wouldn't quit unless he wanted to and she had well believed that he had wanted to while he was with her. still she had never pushed him to do so. she had never looked at him with disgust when he'd put a cigarette to his mouth or any such thing. it just wasn't in her nature to be so judgmental or so cruel. to regan looking down on someone for their choices was indeed cruel even if it didn't fit the day's social standards of the word. she had only ever wanted cooper to be happy and she'd seen so much of that building up in him when they'd been together. regan had to admit that when he'd done things that had scared her, she'd run. she wasn't proud of it. there were a lot of things she could have done to make things work. she could have stuck around a little longer to see how things panned out and if they really were as intolerable as she'd thought they'd been. regan just...she hadn't known how to deal with it. she had always been the quiet, shy type of woman and cooper had known this. she would never be the type to say what was really on her mind and what was really frightening her so to cooper it had to have been out of nowhere that she'd chosen to leave. to cooper it probably seemed like some split decision after a few careless words but for regan it had been something that had built up inside of her, something stemmed from her own fears, that were only ever realized when cooper had said one too many harsh words to her. she'd always had a delicate sensibility and there were a lot of things that to this day she couldn't handle hearing.

she just hadn't wanted her one good relationship to turn sour and when it had she'd started seeing the signs everywhere. after a while regan couldn't deal with having her heart broken and she'd left. she had never meant to leave any pain in her wake, she figured it would have been for the better for cooper to move on to a more strong-willed, more independent woman who could tolerate him to matter what, not some feeble, meek door mouse who thought every word could had some different meaning. it was her flaws that had caused their break up in the end and regan knew it. she blamed herself for everything, not cooper. "c'est la vie." she said with a minute, breathy chuckled. it was what it was. "alright, because it sounded there for a moment like this was just handed to me on a silver platter. you know me well enough to know i worked for everything i've gotten." she let that be the final word, shaking it off as nothing. "well thank you. i know there's something out there. i just have to find it." regan tug out a bite sized treat for penny who had been sitting very quietly in the chair next to regan, a reward for being so good. "so yourself? we can't just focus on me you know."

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cooperdraven
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holes in my apologies

Mar 26, 2012 20:57:07 GMT -5

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Post by cooperdraven on Mar 26, 2012 20:57:07 GMT -5

Change had been organic when Cooper had been with Regan. He had been smoking a cigarette one day and she had seemed like she wasn't pleased, but hadn't mentioned anything, hadn't been judgemental, or angry at him for enjoying a cigarette. He had been able to tell she didn't like it, and he had wanted to be a better person. That's all it had taken. It was easier to put the pack of cigarettes down, and maybe he didn't need a drink to have a good time, and pot didn't compare to how he felt when he was out with her or when the two were with each other. If anything was incredibly frustrated about the regal girl was how easy it was for her to run. He was impulsive, and sometimes rough around the edges. He had once pushed a creepy fan up against a wall and roughed him up. IT had been for regan's safety, but she had withdrawn into a shell for the next few days. It hadn't been intentional to scare her. But never the less she had stopped talking to him for a few days.He had gotten mean, but mostly out of hurt. He didn't like feeling abandoned. He had felt abandoned by his parents, and by his sister. So when he had seen that stemming from the last person he expected it from he had, in retrospect been a little mean to her.

Cooper had been taken out of nowhere by the break-up. Sure, they weren't the best couple on paper. He was harsh and brash, but he was always careful to not hurt her and always concerned himself with her, and was always supportive. So when she had, out of the blue, taken his floor from him he had gone on a free fall. The two had been through so much. He had been her first. He had taken her to his sacred home in San Francisco and he had even given her a promise ring. He wondered what had happened to that ring.He decided it was probably lost at sea somewhere, never to be found. Cooper nodded. She would find something, he was sure of it, and he would be proud of her when it came along. "Me? Shit. I'm just...doing Cooper Draven.." He thought for a few seconds, moving his glasses back to the top of his nose. "I've been really busy with work. Met Cass when we worked together. Seems like I've spent all the time since stepping on someone's toes. You know, the usual fare." Cooper ordered an Old Fashioned. Perhaps this luncheon had not been the best idea.

regan
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holes in my apologies

Mar 26, 2012 22:04:47 GMT -5

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Post by regan on Mar 26, 2012 22:04:47 GMT -5

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I HAVE NO REASON TO RUN FROM YOU

The Words: 498 The Outfit: here + leggings and heels The Notes tag: cooper.

she hadn't meant to run. really if she'd given herself just one moment to think things through she would have seen just how much he had done what he'd done for her benefit. but regan was notorious for not trusting people. she wanted desperately to do so but her issue was that at the first sign of trouble she would drop everything and run. she had always been that way with anything that didn't involved the business. the business was easy. playing a whole other person was actually scarily easy. it was playing herself that was the problem. regan reacted on instinct and there were more than one case in which her instincts were dead wrong. they told her to flee when she should stay. they told her to say one thing when she should have said something else entirely. she wasn't proud of it and that didn't help her to forgive herself. in all honesty over the past few years regan still hadn't forgiven herself for anything that had happened. she had been totally and completely wrong to ever leave him and knowing that didn't make moments like these any easier. it didn't make looking him in the eye any easier. she still felt the same searing guilt she felt years ago, she just got a little better at hiding it. she had never intended on letting him feel abandoned, she simply hadn't known how to deal with what had happened. she ran and she had never forgiven herself for it. that didn't mean she wanted anything from this situation. cooper didn't deserve someone who still had absolutely no self esteem. he was happily married and she had no doubts that he would make the best of that marriage. he would be well off as would the family that had him.

"i wouldn't worry too much about it." regan said as she relaxed into her chair, trying her best to soothe the situation. this was supposed to be fun with two friends meeting up together after years apart. she should have known that the old wounds would have resurfaced but she hadn't wanted to think on it. regan lived in a world of pretend. she would have loved to pretend that cooper would have been pleasant and pretty much very un-cooper like. "but you're being yourself. that really can't be helped. there are still people out there who love you for who you are so...screw everyone who doesn't like it." she gave him a small smile and a shrug. really she didn't know what else to say. there was only so much she could say to ease his discontent. after all she wasn't his wife. regan felt as though technically that was her job, to be appeasing her husband, but maybe that was just because regan was old fashioned. who really knew. "if it means anything, you look just fine to me. for someone who has been through all that you have."

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cooperdraven
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holes in my apologies

Apr 3, 2012 14:56:20 GMT -5

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Post by cooperdraven on Apr 3, 2012 14:56:20 GMT -5

What hadtaken Cooper aback the most was that he had been lulled into a sense of security by Regan. How could she leave him, after all that the two had been through? It was an entitled method of thinking, but it wasn't for smugness. It was that he had devoted himself entirely to the girl that had left him. If there was anythng that could be said about Cooper Draven it was that he devoted himself fiercely to the people and things he loved. He was rabid about his friends and about his family. In his twenty plus years of living he hadn't missed a single opening day for the San Francisco Giants. He had been amongst the partying masses when his favorite baseball team had finally broken decades of futility. Cooper was loyal to no end and that loyalty had been breached. Cooper was someone prone to bitterness. Holly had once said that Cooper somehow managed to get the short stick every single time, and the more thought Cooper put into it, the more he agreed. Nothing seemed to go right, and from the looks of it this lunch would just be a nice, slow exercise in what ifs.

Cooper nodded. He wasn't worried about it. He wasn't about to fake being pleseant or happy. He was happy to see her. Definitely good to know she was doing well, but he definitely had not expected to feel a twang of bitterness, anger and a little sadness at seeing Regan. He had expected it to be a simple get together, some pleseantries exchanged and everybody going home their own way. "Cancer didn't age me too badly did it?" His cancer had been a strange battle. Part of him wanted to quit and die. Another wanted to fight as hard as he could. Clearly one had won out. But barely. "So..." The tension was palpable.

regan
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holes in my apologies

Apr 3, 2012 17:58:15 GMT -5

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Post by regan on Apr 3, 2012 17:58:15 GMT -5

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I HAVE NO REASON TO RUN FROM YOU

The Words: 615 The Outfit: here + leggings and heels The Notes tag: cooper.

she didn't want to but regan was beginning to think that this was a mistake. she too had been hoping that this would just be a fun and friendly meeting but it was turning so much into rehashing old, painful memories. regan didn't want to remember it any more than cooper. she didn't want to remember the pain she had inflicted and some part of her had hoped that cooper would have forgotten or forgiven her for it. it didn't seem as if he had from her end. she wanted nothing more than to forget about the hurt she'd forced upon him. everything else she loved remembering. she loved thinking about how much he made her laugh and how relaxed she was around him. before and after cooper regan had been a bit of a paranoid, self-conscious mess. she still was. regan still couldn't take a compliment to save her life because she just couldn't believe it when it came out of anyone's mouth. but back then she had listened to every word he had said with open ears. she had smiled and thanked him when he'd complimented her but more so than that she had believed him. as much as she had hurt him by leaving she'd also hurt herself. regan had yet to find a single soul since cooper to believe and as such she'd left herself with a gaping hole in her confidence and an inability to take other people at their word. as much as she had hurt him by leaving she had equally done as much damage to herself so though cooper may have felt like he was duped, regan really had always cared about him and she would forever regret hurting him the way she had, a way which was pretty much obvious.

regan couldn't stand confrontation when she wasn't in character. real life drama, it just got under her skin and worked her so hard that she unraveled within moments. she just couldn't stand it. her palms got sweaty, she began to fidget, and she just looked plain uncomfortable. that was the reaction she was having now. she tried to listen to cooper's attempt at small talk but all she could hear was the voice in her head telling her that she was worthless and that cooper really didn't want anything to do with her. the little voice inside her head told her that he obviously hated her and harbored bad feelings about something that had happened ages ago and though she wanted very much to ignore what her head was telling her, she just couldn't deny how true it sounded from the cooper who sat in front of her in this instance. "no, of course it didn't." she said as she looked down at her lap. this wasn't going well. maybe it was better off for them both to just end things here. "i'm so sorry cooper but i think this was a mistake. i thought this could be harmless, just friends seeing each other once again, but it...god it just hurts too much. i can't keep rehashing the past and all of the mistakes i made and all the hurt i caused. i saw it all then and i see it in your eyes now. i just...i can't." regan put more than enough money down on the table to cover both meals, an apology to everyone for cooking her meal, waiting on her for no reason, and sitting around to endure so much pain. regan stood and picked up penny, turning away from the table and walking away, brushing back tears as the camera flashes from paparazzi began to flash. finally they were getting their story.

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Admin

holes in my apologies

Post by regan on Mar 4, 2012 14:41:28 GMT -5

Post by cooperdraven on Mar 6, 2012 1:56:59 GMT -5

Post by regan on Mar 6, 2012 8:59:48 GMT -5

Post by cooperdraven on Mar 6, 2012 11:56:11 GMT -5

Post by regan on Mar 6, 2012 12:42:30 GMT -5

Post by cooperdraven on Mar 10, 2012 12:39:11 GMT -5

Post by regan on Mar 10, 2012 19:35:26 GMT -5

Post by cooperdraven on Mar 25, 2012 21:06:15 GMT -5

Post by regan on Mar 25, 2012 21:49:54 GMT -5

Post by cooperdraven on Mar 25, 2012 22:36:12 GMT -5

Post by regan on Mar 25, 2012 22:52:21 GMT -5

Post by cooperdraven on Mar 26, 2012 20:57:07 GMT -5

Post by regan on Mar 26, 2012 22:04:47 GMT -5

Post by cooperdraven on Apr 3, 2012 14:56:20 GMT -5

Post by regan on Apr 3, 2012 17:58:15 GMT -5